[Mindinpieces]

Put trigger icon just in case

I can’t get past the thought what if I am not meant to be there or write this or apply to that place or even just walk down the street. My main issue is the what if part

What if you for some reason you should not have done something at a certain time or what if you did but weren’t meant to and made it go wrong or changed it.

You can never know either way but I drive myself crazy contemplating doing something and think what could be the outcome of that and all the what if’s and consider everything that could possibly happen or not. But then all I do is come to conclusion lock yourself in room then you can’t infect that situation or I end up believing I shouldn’t be there or interacting with people so again lock yourself in your room is the right choice.

Sometimes I can get past this but then I just break down and cause trouble and be a pain to others because I can’t react normally or behave in a clam and clear think way. Usually I be a bit delusional and think I am think clearly and doing something right but I get mistaken and brought back to reality then I think again see you should have not have even tried because look what’s happen or what I have done wrong. Even how silly it may be like miss calculated something, had to say excuse me to walk past someone. If I wasn’t there then those things wouldn’t have happen. Not all of it is about silly things.

Other times I think I am improving and sometimes I try to reply back to people on PC here but again I get mistaken with myself and really I am not thinking clearly and probably should not have. But I feel bad for not replying considering I ask a lot of questions on PC here and at that time I think I am function with a clear mind when really I was not.

This may not make sense and I worry about everything what if that person took me wrong way but I didn’t mean it like that but I didn’t think when saying it how they might have taken it. Then I shouldn’t talk to people is the outcome. Also I am not able to interact or function is another outcome in my mind.

This comes from the fact I was in an accident and I guess it all started with the what if I did walk the other way that day, why didn’t I then it would not have happened. I can’t change that in any way but I can over worry about what I have not done yet, I believe this is how I got stuck thinking this way. Also this brought on the over think of things and how they affect you and those around you. I can never seem to do the right thing. I end up hurting people emotionally and it always seems to be if I wasn’t there then things would have gone better on number of occasions. I can’t seem to find a place in my reality that doesn’t support these thoughts and get me out of the way and able to function again. I had slight issue with myself and viewing other people from growing up but the accident strength them and made them worse. If the accident didn’t happen then I probably would be able to function ok and just got over what issues I had naturally by now.

My T knows this but at the moment it just starting to get going and she says a lot we will come back to this or that. I just need to get that out because this is my main problem and why I can’t move on. Any comment would be appreciated or does anyone else think and feel the same?

[unaluna]

my parents being from italy had a lot of superstitions. "just what you don't want, that's what happens!" but the more I later learned about my relatives, I realized they didn't all think that way, it was my parents' own psychology, maybe more due to being the middle children or other such life circumstances. as for responding here, I like to think of us as being on a team, - no one person is responsible for winning the game or helping someone else, we ALL contribute our part to the effort and THAT is what makes it work - even when we are helping by responding, we are depending on each other. And IMO it is much harder to ask a question than give an answer!

I think I know a little bit what you mean - like the movie 'Sliding Doors', right? What if you caught the train? What if you didn't catch the train?

Things happened in the past, and I made some decisions that, looking back, don't seem they were the most logical. Sometimes I drive myself crazy thinking 'what if?' and 'did I make the right choice?' or 'I should have...' but I try to make peace with it all by trusting that things are perhaps meant to be, that I'm supposed to be exactly where I am. That in the end it will all come right. And, well, even if that's not true, there's not really any point in worrying - because this right here is my reality. I can only work with what I have now. And you can only work with your current reality. It's learning to accept that and then figuring out how to work with it...

That's how I understand it, anyway! Sorry if I missed the point of your post

[Mindinpieces]

That's how I understand it, anyway! Sorry if I missed the point of your post [/quote]

Thank You, You didn't miss the point and actually you make a good point about being able to learn from past and move forward from this point in time. I guess I haven't looked at it from another point of view. I really do appreciate you comments.