[sittingatwatersedge]

this new T takes no notes, but she forgets NOTHING. Last session I came determined to tell her some very hard things. After a little preliminary discussion, I got out my outline so I wouldn't shut down. T2 immediately got up, went into the corner of the room directly behind me, and didn't come back.

I jumped up and turned to find that she was sitting directly behind me. I said, what are you doing?! She said, I thought you wanted me to be here - no? and I remembered that weeks before, I had mentioned I still had hard stuff to tell her, and we were looking at ways to get it out.
Bring the lights down. OK.
Do you want to write it out and have me read it? Noooo! it's real enough, writing it all down would make it that even much more real.
I might ask you to sit behind me, though, then you couldnt see me at all (I wasn't really serious about this).

It was unbelievably creepy, having her behind me like that; my anxiety shot right up. I asked her to pleeze come back to her usual place. She did, and we got through it OK.

Am wondering whether any of you have experienced having yr T sit completely out of your line of sight? and how you found that?

[Nelliecat]

No and if she did it would completely freak me out. I wouldn't mind a T who remembered everything though, she's pretty good but does forget some stuff.

I'm usually the one who moves out of her eyeline

[BlessedRhiannon]

Haven't tried it and I'm pretty sure it would completely freak me out. Just having T step behind me in the hallway to let someone pass in the opposite direction caused me to tense up and panic.

[mcl6136]

No...never experienced it...would not want to!

I, too, had a real issue with my cold distant T making a very big deal of me leading the way into his office down a rather forbidding corridor, walking behind me. And a few times, when he was pi##ed off, he would turn his back on me and face his window.
I know your t did not do these things in this manner but disappearing behind your back, literally, is not the greatest strategy.

Hats off to you for dealing with it with so much dignity and cool. I woulda lost it. No doubt at all.

[Perna]

That is the old psychoanalytic method, shrink sitting behind the head of the couch. It frees up people to just talk, etc. I'm glad she came back without a problem. The office me and my T met in, there wouldn't have been enough room for her to do that. She did try to get me to "breathe" with her once, but that freaked me out and I wouldn't close my eyes when she suggested it, etc.

[stopdog]

My anxiety went up just reading about this. I have never had a therapist sit behind me. I also do not close my eyes. I did consult with one this past year who had the office set up with furniture so it could be done easily. It freaked me out just to see the couch with the chair at the head of it - ugh.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

disappearing behind your back, literally, is not the greatest strategy. Hats off to you for dealing with it with so much dignity and cool.

no but see, I was the one who brought it up in the first place. It was dumb from the get go - I have always had what I call "gunslingers' syndrome", I cannot even sit in a restaurant with my back to the room, no way. And I even prefer the back of theaters.

what shocked me was how dangerous it really did feel. I would never have expected that. Makes me wonder at all those decades of psychoanalysts making patients (not clients, back then) lie supine (completely vulnerable, helpless position) and THEY sat where they couldn't be seen. Creeeeeeepy.

[FourRedheads]

Wow, I second the person who said their anxiety shot up just reading this. No way, no how. Too creepy!

But wow, this T sounds great. I wish my T would remember things so well!

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

no but see, I was the one who brought it up in the first place. It was dumb from the get go - I have always had what I call "gunslingers' syndrome", I cannot even sit in a restaurant with my back to the room, no way. And I even prefer the back of theaters.

what shocked me was how dangerous it really did feel. I would never have expected that. Makes me wonder at all those decades of psychoanalysts making patients (not clients, back then) lie supine (completely vulnerable, helpless position) and THEY sat where they couldn't be seen. Creeeeeeepy.

I could not agree more. CREEEEEPY!

[granite1]

she never sat behind me or out of my sight but she did follow me upstairs once when she brought me to her office i didnt like it at all it freaked me out completely and it caused flashbacks and everything it was horrible .she never did it again.i remember writing her a letter about how everything was differnt and i couldnt handle it and i hated her following me upstairs.she never did it again

I don't think I'd mind her being out of sight, behind me or whatever, in that it wouldn't bother me (though it might if it were someone else that I didn't trust like I trust my T) but I like my T being sat 'with' me - not sure I'd feel as 'close' if I couldn't see her? I think it's important to have the eye contact and see the warmth of expression, etc, feel 'connected'... the old psychoanalytic thing of someone sat behind me taking notes whilst I stare at the celing, waffling on... not sure that's my bag..

[vanessaG]

That would freak me out as well. I don't like people behind me in general let alone my T! Glad you spoke up And T came figh back! That's good though T remembers what you said

[sconnie892]

Having T behind me would freak me out. I find eye contact with her to be very important.

Glad your T agreed to go back to her usual seat.

[ECHOES]

I would love it, I think, and she my T has offered to have me use the couch that way (it's just a regular leather therapist's couch), but I haven't tried it yet.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

Am wondering whether any of you have experienced having yr T sit completely out of your line of sight? and how you found that?

We tried it just once, but I didn't like it.