[silenthill]

i could believe in T's again, because i could use one right now

[CantExplain]

(((Silenthill))) You can find a T you can trust again. Even if you go out of town to see somebody. Maybe the DOH can give you a list of good reputable T's. Honest, there ARE good T's out there. You ex T is an example of all the bad in the world. I'm around if you need to talk.
You know me...if you want, I can make some calls to get referrals for you. (Or anything you need)

[KazzaX]

Same. I wish I still had that magical thinking about Ts that I had when I was younger. That hope. But unfortunately reality proved me wrong.

[silenthill]

may be a (TRIGGER)



My mother just was told she has colon cancer,she go's to surgery the 21st of this mouth, the Dr's are scared that her heart can't take the surgery, she has to make it, she just has to,the fear of my mother dying was one of the things i talked to my ex T about, T's are not thing but human's that went to school,and got a piece a paper that says they pasted a cores, they are NOT heroes, people just want to believe they are, because we want some one to fix us,why do we trust people that we don't even know about them, like where they live,how do they raise there kids, how clean is there house, do they believe in god, its all about us telling them about us, why shouldn't you know about them,after all you pay them why shouldn't they have to disclose their life, may be i would have though twice about seeing some one that didn't have higher standers then that of the ppl that hurt me all my life, sorry but i had to vent

[stopdog]

I am sorry to hear about your mother and hope it goes well for her. I agree therapists are not heroes but are indeed ordinary people with problems and issues who have been trained to do a certain job - which some of them do better than others. I am sorry yours was so horrible at her job and caused you so much pain.

[growlycat]

So sorry to hear about your mom but medicine is so sophisticated, they at least have a good idea what to prepare for in advance. Heart problems are so common that the medical community has so much information to draw from. Nothing is a guarantee of course but just being there for her is a blessing. Wishing her health and you peace of mind.

[Dreamy01]

I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time right now

It sounds like the experience you had with the T was horrible and far from the norm. No good T would claim to have all the answers. In fact most Ts are trained to help the client search within themselves to find their own way forward. Each of the ts I've seen have been in touch with their own humanity foremost. This means that they know they are human beings who have a deep desire to sit with another human being as an equal and be with them in their darkest hour. No T should be telling you that they 'know it all' or 'know best' or that you 'have to' trust them. My Ts have all said that having my trust is a priveledge, not a right.

Each of the ts have seen have shared a little bit about themselves when appropriate and necessary. I have certainly never felt I'm sitting with a stranger.

I'm sorry the experiences you had were so damaging and I do hope that in this time of difficulty you can trust that not all therapists are the same. No one would say that all nurses or all train drivers are horrible, so it seems a shame to do the same for therapists.

[silenthill]

Thank you all for letting me vent, it has helped me so much to just have a place i can come to to let it out,and have ppl not get mad at me, you all have been so nice, i just had a really bad day yesterday as my son is dating a T ,and he brought her to our home for dinner i was not impressed with her

[WePow]

((((((SH)))))))) wow. You have had a time of things! I am so sorry about your mom. I will be thinking of you and hope that it all works out.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by silenthill

My mother just was told she has colon cancer,she go's to surgery the 21st of this mouth, the Dr's are scared that her heart can't take the surgery, she has to make it, she just has to,the fear of my mother dying was one of the things i talked to my ex T about

I am sorry to hear about your mother. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. You have been through so much.

Originally Posted by silenthill

T's are not thing but human's that went to school,and got a piece a paper that says they pasted a cores, they are NOT heroes, people just want to believe they are, because we want some one to fix us,why do we trust people that we don't even know about them, like where they live,how do they raise there kids, how clean is there house, do they believe in god, its all about us telling them about us, why shouldn't you know about them,after all you pay them why shouldn't they have to disclose their life, may be i would have though twice about seeing some one that didn't have higher standers then that of the ppl that hurt me all my life, sorry but i had to vent

You are exactly right. T's are not heroes. My own T has said this several times in different ways:
1. So I have an advanced degree. What good is it? It allows me to obtain a license and work in private practice. It gives me some knowledge specific to my job. Nothing more or less.
2. When I started out, I was terrified. Going to school and even interning does not come close to preparing you for this job. I felt I was unqualified. It took some months of work to realize, okay I can do this, but I'm going to make mistakes because I am human.
3. When I started in private practice, one thought that went through my mind is, "Wow, they're giving degrees to goats now." It took me awhile to become comfortable in my career. I am no different than you are; a human being struggling day to day trying to do the best I can in my career and life. I am no more important to this world than you are.

T's are people with dysfunctional families, biases, bills, personal issues, and pain. They are human. We are human. They have training to do their jobs. We have training to do ours. Don't worship them. It will set you up for disappointment.