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Member Since Jan 2012
Posts: 413
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#1
This subject came up in the talking about sex in therapy thread. It seemed different enough to me to merit it's own thread. I'd written:
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Therapy Ninja
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
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#2
Both are equally hard, because the "unwanted" has tainted my "wanted".
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InTherapy, Snuffleupagus, Wren_
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
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#3
I don't have trouble talking about sex that was not unwanted. Or perhaps the way I talk about it is not that big of a deal. I mean it is not super explicit usually in terms of talking about it with a therapist but I don't know why I would so perhaps for the reasons I see a therapist it just does not come up.
possible trigger**** The most explicit has been over the csa and I don't recall it being all that difficult to describe. But I kind of think I did not object to it, so maybe it is not unwilling and I might have a harder time if there was unwilling sex to describe to t. |
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pbutton, Snuffleupagus
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2009
Location: England
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#4
I had a fantastic T she was brilliant. I could talk to her about anything, we talked about my difficulty with sex in a relationship and how I wish I could be more itamate but when it came to talking about csa I found it so difficult I just couldn't get the words out. I had to write it down in the form of a letter to myself so dhe could read. It was because I felt so ashamed that I couldn't talk about it. Fortunately she understand and helped me to believe that it wasn't my fault and I guess now I could talk about it without difficulty. She was amazing!
So in my case the unwanted sex was harder to describe due to feelings of shame and blaming myself |
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Snuffleupagus
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Member Since Jan 2012
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#5
That's amazing that she could bring you from that place of silence and shame to one of openness.
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Young Butterfly
Member Since Jan 2012
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#6
I would say that for sure unwanted is harder.. I am not sure how to even start that conversation with my T. I suppose if the issue of my intimate relationship with my husband came up, it would be eaiser to say it sucks right now.. b/c really it relates to my anxiety and depression and it can be talked about in that context.
T has no clue about the specific situation of abuse in my life.. As a matter of fact I flat out lied about it on intial appointment if there was any incidents of sexual abuse in my past.. So, for some reason this seems even harder to bring up. __________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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Snuffleupagus
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Oh noes!
Member Since Jul 2011
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#7
I think my T is very easy to talk to & I know I can tell him anything and I will be safe. That said, I can talk about my voluntary sex life no problem. Get into anything involuntary and I lose my ability to form words. I'm not exaggerating at all. I think part of it is that I had experiences that I didn't understand at the time & my mind is still confused as an adult.
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Snuffleupagus
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2012
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#8
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I've written about it a few times and I read it to myself, but I can't read it out loud. My T thinks it would be best if I can get to the point of sharing the details with him verbally, so has not read what I've written. |
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pbutton, Snuffleupagus
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2010
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#9
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Snuffleupagus
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