[ballet_girl]

So... my therapist recently recommended that I join a DBT group. I immediately said no because I thought I would feel to uncomfortable in a group setting, but I've done a lot of research on DBT and am realizing that these are skills that I would really like to have.

I know that all groups are different, but I was really hoping that some of you could share your experiences with group therapy (especially DBT) so that I could get a better idea if this is something that I would be able to do. Would I have to start sharing right away? I know that at least for the first few session I wouldn't want to share anything...its taken me a long time to open up to my therapist and I can't even imagine telling a group of strangers about my feelings the first time that I meet them. I'm also a little bit worried because I tend to equate talking about feelings with weakness or whininess which is one of the reasons I have trouble opening up. I'm afraid that I might get fed up with people or react inappropriately.

Any experiences with the types of things you have talked about in DBT and the group environment would be very helpful to me

[ECHOES]

I haven't been part of a group or done DBT, but I know others here have and you will get some great responses.

I just wanted to say Weclome and glad you are here!

Also wanted to add that it is reasonable to expect to feel uncomfortable with anything new, that others will also be feeling uncomfortable right along with you, and that you can put one another at ease with your acceptance. The therapist/facillitator will help the group with the newness and the getting to know one another too. The uncomfortable feeling will go away when it feels familiar to be part of the group.

[Kiya]

hi and welcome =)

I've not been in DBT, but i have been in i think 4 groups now... ironically there's a thread on that currently that might help - it is Miss Charlotte's "I am not sure I want to share". I invite you to read and post =)

[zooropa]

welcome, ballet girl

I've been in DBT for 2 years now, and went through the group twice, which took a year. I think it's important to be in both the skills training group and in individual therapy with a DBT therapist. I know that's not always how it's done, and that's not an option for everyone, but it IS the most effective way to do DBT.

Either way, the thing about DBT group is it's skills training, not a process group. So, no, you won't have to start sharing right away. Or ever, really. There obviously is some interaction within the group but it's not going to be about your feelings that much, and certainly not about your history. It's just not that kind of group. Also, we were never "forced" to participate in the group, never pressured to talk. Most of the talking is done by the skills trainer, although of course there is time to ask questions, etc. I think they really try to keep the personal sharing to a minimum, because people are easily triggered and everyone has a lot of stories to tell. It'd be easy for the group to get out of control pretty quickly.

Anyway, that's my experience. Please feel free to ask any questions you want about DBT, I think I'm one of the only regulars here who is currently in DBT but there are a number of people who have experiences with it.

[WikidPissah]

I have done the DBT group. I kind of had a bad experience, but I found out later that the particular DBT T I was seeing wasn't very good at all. I live on kind of an island, and she is the only DBT T here. (traveling to the mainland for group would be very difficult)

Anyways, that being said, I do find the skills very useful. I ended up reading the book on my own, and although that's not optimal it's helped. What zoo said is pretty much how it went at my group. They followed the book closely, and the topic each week coincided with the chpt we were on. The discussion mostly pertains to the skill being learned and how to apply it in your life. Group members may tell short stories on how they have used that skill.

One recommendation though: Make sure that the group you are going into is geared for DBT beginners. Stepping into a group where people are advanced in the skills is like trying to go to a book club without reading the book!!!

[jilliebeanmn]

I had a great experience in DBT group. My group just happened to be all women, and the T was a woman as well. We have members coming and going so everyone was at a different place in their skill level.

I found it VERY helpful, and I kind of wish there was a monthly kind of group I could go to that focuses on DBT to help remind me to use my skills.

I say give it a try. If it's not right for you, you can always stop.

Good luck!

Hi ballet girl,

I had a very positive experience with DBT. It changed my life!

The first half of group was going over the homework assigned the previous week. Everyone took their turn and you could share as much or as little as you wanted. Passing was okay too. I found it easier to share once I figured out that the people in the group really understood what I was going thru. They've "been there" if you know what I mean. (A side note: we usually didn't discuss how anyone ended up in group or too much from people's past unless the group member volunteered that info. That was mostly dealt with in individual therapy. Actually, the "tough stuff" is a lot of times is pushed off until you are done with DBT. Other than improving your daily life, the idea is to learn skills that will help you cope with processing difficult stuff.)

The second half was learning new material and the therapists did most of the talking. We asked questions if we didn't understand something. Then they assigned homework for the next week to help learn the new material.

I have been done with DBT for 4 months and I still meet with my friends who are still in group or that have graduated since for coffee a couple times a month. We have become a really close, supportive group. I don't know what I would do without them. They are the people I call when things are really tough and I don't feel like any of my other friends would understand. We remind each other of the skills we've learned and encourage each other to make decisions that work for them in their unique situation.

You can learn the DBT skills outside of the group setting, but for me it helped me to know there were other people out there that had the same thoughts and issues I had/have. It helped me feel not so alone. Everyone has a different angle to look at things from so I got some really good help from my peers too.

Something to think about...everyone in DBT was new to group at some piont, so they understand how scary it is to start.

I wish you the best!
slip

P.S. Another thing that came to mind is the people who have been in group get a little anxious when new people start too. They don't know how the dynamics of the group are going to change. Please don't make up your mind if group is right or wrong for you based on the first session. My thoughts are give it a try for a whole module then make your decision.

Hi, just thought I'd share my experience in case it's helpful.

DBT groups are very different from other types of therapy groups. They are very structured and are primarily about the skills trainer educating the group, and the group practising the skills, rather than about relationships or sharing experiences or feelings.

As a general rule, the skills trainer teaches a new skill each week. The next week, the first half of the session is spent sharing your attempts to practise the skills over the last week. If you did not practise the skills, then your 'turn' is spent problem-solving why you didn't. The second half is spent teaching the new skill.

I think this is the best summary (p.9 of the skills training manual): "Skills training tries to cram the skills into the person and individual psychotherapy tries to pull them out".

I don't know whether you might feel relieved to know that you won't have to share deeply personal information, but I do think that actively being discouraged from sharing can have its own challenges- there may be times when you feel really distressed or have a really pressing problem that you want to offload or problem-solve, and it can be so difficult to feel like there's no space for you to be heard, and to be constantly directed back to using the skills to be able to engage with the group. If, for example, you try to share about feeling upset about a recent bereavement, the response will probably be to help you think about how this week's skills can help you to manage your feelings.

The flip-side is that I learnt the skills individually because there was no group available, and I do feel like I missed out on some opportunities, like seeing the range of ideas and skills that people developed, and having lots of examples of putting them into practice to learn from.

Overall, I feel that the DBT skills have not only saved my life but have also helped me to build the life that I wanted. It's totally understandable to feel anxious- going into any group situation- let alone this one!- is really daunting. Perhaps you could also look at other ways to learn the skills e.g. from books or the web, with the support of your individual therapist. I think this can work well if you're really motivated.

(Just an afterthought- there will be differences in how hospitals and skills trainers manage the groups, and how closely they adhere to the process.)

Oops, I mostly wrote the same things as Slip, only she wrote it quicker (and probably better!)

LOL! Well said Improving! (I was thinking you said it better than me )

[ballet_girl]

Thanks you guys! Its really helpful to hear that you had positive experiences, and I'm glad to know that I won't have to start sharing right away (if at all). Right now I'm not even sure if DBT is a viable option for me time-wise and money-wise, but I do need these skills so I will ask my t for more information next time I see her.

[Kacey2]

Ballet girl,
I too have done DBT for the past two years and as I was reading the others post they certainly have hit the major points of DBT training. Marsha Linehan would be so proud of you gals! I just want to reiterate what I thought was really helpful from the other postings.

quote by improving "As a general rule, the skills trainer teaches a new skill each week. The next week, the first half of the session is spent sharing your attempts to practice the skills over the last week. If you did not practice the skills, then your 'turn' is spent problem-solving why you didn't. The second half is spent teaching the new skill.

-this is very much an educational group. you are given homework assignments to do through out the week and you review that in the first half. In the second half you are taught the new skills. 4 modules total plus an extra if you are an adolescent. (the middle path) -true beware of not doing the homework you may have to do a chain analysis on why you did not.

quote by slip "Overall, I feel that the DBT skills have not only saved my life but have also helped me to build the life that I wanted.

-Yep it will definately save your life if you are suicidal or parasuicidal. It will also help you stay out of the hospital. 6 impatient stays most 72 holds for me before DBT- none since my second year of DBT

quote by slip "P.S. Another thing that came to mind is the people who have been in group get a little anxious when new people start too. They don't know how the dynamics of the group are going to change. Please don't make up your mind if group is right or wrong for you based on the first session. My thoughts are give it a try for a whole module then make your decision.

- Oh how true this is. Totally didn't think of this one Slip-way to go on this tidbit. Also most DBT programs will try to get you to commit to one year or at least finishing one module. usually 9 wks. People can only join the group at the beginning of a new module. Also if you miss four in a row you are out of therapy til the next module.

DBT saved my life and made it possible to gain some skills to maintain safety inorder to procees with some very neccessary therapy work. I guess you have to way the benefits. You will probably feel frustrations at times and at other times you will feel proud of yourself for gaining competence in skills and lifes challanges. I hope all this information has helped you. Please feel free to send me message if you have any other questions or concerns. Good luck!

[motoxcousio]

im scarred to im new with borderline personality,bipolar,ptsd,pot smoker well no pot now, my baby dad beat me up bad and i gave birth my son i breast feed him and i am a good mom but the state is saying with my mental condition and being singel i got to go away to mental hospital i take medicane but i cant afford seriqil i feel like giving up whats to live for if ill never have a family...sorry guys i dont know if doin this right i new and i have to do that dtb thing and i dont work

[CantExplain]

I've had one good group and one bad group.

After a couple of years in the good group, I felt that for the first time in my life I really had a family. I felt accepted. It was wonderful.

The less said about the bad group the better.