T expressing anger towards your parents

stopdog · Apr 01, 2012, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

Stopdog, I really don't think there are very many therapists incompetent enough to mock you for believing that being physically abused as a child was bad. And I don't think they're trying to "suck you in" to anything. It really is a rotten thing to happen to a kid, hence the laws against it. It's an appropriate object for anger. It doesn't matter whether it happened to someone else or to you; it is objectively rotten. Maybe your parents were the wily wild animals that you couldn't turn your back on.

I do really think they do it to get a reaction from the client. I do think they do things to get a reaction and they can pounce on you. Perhaps they will not mock or ridicule you. One hopes for the best but prepares for the worst.
Physical abuse is not good.
My parents were not that bad. I only thought they might kill me, they really would not have.

Sunne · Apr 01, 2012, 09:16 PM

My T has expressed anger towards my mother for physical abuse. He has expressed disdain for everyone who has hurt me though.

He makes me feel valid. One if the first people in my life to truly do that.

Apr 01, 2012, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

MKC I am sorry you went through this. I understand the idea that showing them anger meant they might have killed you. I felt like that too, although I doubt mine was really a possibility like yours was.
But I do not get how the therapist expressing sorrow or anger helps bump you past it. I generally think the therapist is either play acting to get a response from me or is simply too weak to be a therapist if my minor situation creates such a huge over reaction in them. And then will mock me if I get sucked in to agreeing it might have been a somewhat unpleasant situation.

It helps me because I know him as a person now, stopdog. I KNOW he isn't a pansy. I KNOW he isn't playacting. I KNOW he isn't weak. I know enough about him, he's allowed himself to be vulnerable enough for me to know those things about him. Because I trust his judgment and his competence, I know that happened to me is THAT bad, no matter how much I tried to minimize it.

I also know that he isn't going to mock me. He may hurt my feelings sometimes, but it isn't on purpose. And the one time he has really hurt my feelings, he said he was sorry. He didn't try to say it was somehow my fault and I should have known he was teasing. I KNEW he was teasing, and it hurt my feelings anyway, and he accepted responsibility for that and said he was insensitive. He is the kind of therapist that I hope you can find someday.

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T expressing anger towards your parents

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