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#1
Jun 23, 2014, 01:52 PM
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After about a month of trying to sort through my feelings, I think I can now admit that I have transference with my T. My mom was not very nurturing or emotional to me growing up and she just passed away. I can think of several "surrogate moms" I had growing up specifically a high school teacher. I wrote in my journal that I feel like she's the mom I never had...
My T. has been wonderful to me but now I realize she has said things that I wish my mom had always said "I'm here" "I always have time" etc. This has stirred up the same feelings I had for my teacher in high school. I think I need to tell her to move on but am curious what she will do with this information. Do they typically ask a lot of questions? What sorts of questions? Thanks! These forums have been so good for me right now! |
 Aloneandafraid, CameraObscura, RTerroni, ThisWayOut
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 always_wondering
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#2
Jun 23, 2014, 01:52 PM
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I imagine most of them expect it.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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#3
Jun 23, 2014, 01:55 PM
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It's not surprising. But she will want to talk about your relationship with your mother and why these emotions are being brought up.
__________________
HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
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#4
Jun 23, 2014, 02:43 PM
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With my therapist it was a huge relief to share the transference. She simply accepted and embraced it. She said she was committed to me and understood my feelings, so the transference wasn't something to get past so much as to use to make this therapy a corrective experience of mothering. My therapist as a good enough mother certainly can't and won't fill the all-encompassing, lengthy relationship of a real birth mother, but there is a lot to gain from having a consistent, welcoming, caring, skilled presence like that and so I hope your disclosure goes well for you.
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| Aloneandafraid, Soccer mom, ThisWayOut
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#5
Jun 23, 2014, 04:06 PM
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I think therapists expect this when we are dealing with parental issues. I see my tdoc and pdoc in this way and they know it. We haven't talked about it and I don't feel the need to, but then again I have discussed my mother many times with both of them so there is an understanding.
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#6
Jun 23, 2014, 04:31 PM
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We all have feelings towards people and transference isn't any different than any other feelings we have toward someone, it's just a different word. So considering this, I don't think mentioning those feelings shouldn't be a revelation because one can expect them to be there.
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#7
Jun 23, 2014, 04:39 PM
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I think most decent therapists will be able to see it coming or already be seeing the signs of transference. My T has dropped hints that she knows and I think is trying to get me to open up about it, so I think they do pick up on things that you're not aware of.
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| Aloneandafraid
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#8
Jun 23, 2014, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
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#9
Jun 23, 2014, 09:53 PM
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I mentioned to her that I think I had transference. She asked me what made me think that and a few other questions and we decided that I did not, in fact, have transference - but the beginning of a "normal" healthy relationship. :]
__________________
A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...  ]
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| Soccer mom
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#10
Jun 24, 2014, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Do you remember the other questions she asked you? Yes, I'm totally overthinking it. LOL |
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#11
Jun 24, 2014, 12:40 PM
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I had a Therapist terminate me over transference so if I ever had transference I might be a little scared to share it with my Therapist.
__________________
COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
| Anonymous100121, tealBumblebee
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#12
Jun 24, 2014, 12:46 PM
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RTerroni, it is scary. It's scary for me, too.
I don't think I understand transference. Maybe when I say transference, I mean "attachment." One T told me we can have maternal, paternal and rage (or anger) transference with one T all at the same time! Geez, I have a lot to learn. |
| RTerroni, tealBumblebee
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| RTerroni
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#13
Jun 24, 2014, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
__________________
A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go... ]
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| Soccer mom
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#14
Jun 24, 2014, 08:00 PM
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IMO a good T will not only expect it but want a bit of it for good therapy. It's one way to work through your feelings about someone/thing that is bothering you, safely. Ts are supposed to be safe.
__________________
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| Soccer mom
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#15
Jun 24, 2014, 09:11 PM
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As mentioned many times here I have transference with my T. I think he was trying to tell me in the beginning, but I did not understand. Then I researched the feelings I had for him and there it was in print, Transference. So I brought it up and we talked about it and still do. Now I want him to help me get passed it and move on. Its not moving as quickly as I would like.
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#16
Jun 24, 2014, 09:47 PM
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Quote:
Aren't they supposed to have learned about it, to know how to handle this? 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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