Just feeling curious today, who talks first usually, you or your T?

Seems like in my case it's always me. I tried to out wait her this last time but she won. I almost wonder if this is a game of "whoever talks first loses" or something!

Maybe she just has a lot more patience than I do.....?

[critterlady]

I think it's usually me. I know today it was. We sat down and he just looked at me. The first thing i said was that it had been an awful week and we were off.

[Perna]

It's the client's therapy, they're there to talk about their issues. My T wouldn't have a clue what I might wish to discuss, "today"

[WantingtoHeal]

My T usually talks first. I guess I am too slow.

[stopdog]

The therapist

[granite1]

my T usually says hi and stuff

T and I generally start talking from the moment he comes to get me in the lobby. Our habit is generally some chit chat for maybe a minute or two, which usually leads to something that we end up focusing on. I have absolutely no idea who starts talking first. I think it just naturally varies because of the casual way we start things.

Thanks for the replies! I like the chit chat idea, something I've never been very good at, good place to practice it though I guess! That would help when what I might want to talk about doesn't feel like something I can just 'start' y'know? Glad I found ya'all here. This is a very helpful community.

[lostmyway21]

My T. He starts when he comes back to get me. How are you? What's up kid? That kind of stuff.

[Chopin99]

Usually T...some kind of small talk; i.e. "how's work?" or "how've you been?". If not that..."what you wanna talk about today?".

We kind of have a routine where he comes to the waiting room door and opens it and just smiles at me. I sometimes say hi, and sometimes I just smile back at him. He stops on the way back to his office to get a glass of water for me and then comes in and hands it to me, and I say thank you. So, I guess it's me that speaks first.

But, in terms of getting started, there's a ritual for that also, and he starts it. He asks me about my mood, if I have any thoughts about the session last week, and then asks me about my focus for the current session. He used to use the word "agenda." I use an agenda at work to list stuff I have to FINISH for the week. Using the word "agenda" in therapy bothered me because then I feel useless that I haven't "finished" the stuff on the agenda and it's the same stuff over and over. After we talked about that a couple of times, he finally starting using the word "focus" instead of agenda. I thought it was pretty nice of him to change a habit he's had for the last 25 years to accommodate my discomfort with the word "agenda."

[Screenager]

My T usually goes "So how was your week?" or "I'd like to hear more about [topic from previous session]" or something like that. But usually I also have a list of things to talk about that I then address later on.

[taylor43]

Usally my t asks me how im doing and what would i like to talk about.

[Hope-Full]

Me. Always me. T is the most patient person in the whole world and if we had a staring contest, T would win, no question asked. There have only been 2-3 times where T started, and that was usually cause T got an update from one of my other doctor's and wanted to get the "business" out of the way. Otherwise, T follows my lead.

[Dreamy01]

T normally asks how I am or how the week has been

[SoupDragon]

We start with a game of "patience" T always loses and talks first.

T and i are both such chatterboxes its usually a contest to see who can talk 1st

[dismantle.repair]

She asks how I am. I won't start a conversation.

[healed84]

T usually starts out by saying so how have you been this past week?.. and we go from there.

[tkdgirl]

T always goes first. I don't think I ever started. T usually lets me sit for a minute or so in silence and then says something. What is said must be different each time as I don't remember any specific phrases T uses.

[CantExplain]

I always talk first.
That seems to be her policy, but it suits me too.
I'm a big talker. (Just count my posts on PC!)

[Squirrel1983]

T. She usually immediately says hi to me when she comes to get me. Once in her office she usually asks how things are going the minute I sit down. I guess she likes to get down to buisness.

[retro_chic]

My T will tell me what she would like to discuss/work on during the session and will ask me if I agree and if there is anything I would like to add. I find it much easier when T starts the conversation. I think she knows that which is why she always has written outline of the session's topics to help me out.

I wish my T would start the conversation sometimes. Perhaps I should ask her to.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I wish my T would start the conversation sometimes. Perhaps I should ask her to.

I bet she'd say:

"Sure. What would you like me to start a conversation on?"