In another thread, Perna wrote

You can't be bullied if you can't be bullied. It's like de-triggering one's triggers so others can't pull them.

I don't want to derail that thread, so I'll start a new one: the concept of de-triggering sounds like a smart and healthy one - what exactly does it mean and how is it done? I imagine it has to do with making one's triggers clear to oneself in the mind and deciding not to give in to them, on the assumption that triggers are subconscious things which lose their power once they are brought to the conscious mind... but that sounds like something that would be rather more easy to say than to do. So are there any techniques for doing it?

[madisgram]

justme but triggers are caused by past uncomfortable events and i have a "bucket" where i toss current events similar to those in the past. it's like conditioning myself and i needed to undo my reaction. my T suggested that when i was triggered to assess if my emotion or reaction was true. i suffer from ptsd but it has greatly improved. for example when i hear a door slam loudly or someone angrily talking it used to trigger me. (i was emotionally and physically abused in the past. he would slam doors loud when he was mad, yell, etc).
here's how it works for me, i ask myself am i really in danger? is the action directed at me? am i actually safe? by mentally reassuring myself i'm ok i stop the trigger or at least make it manageable. it's like turning a false belief into a true belief.
i know this sounds too simple and it does take practice but perhaps this may help you too.
good question.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Apteryx

In another thread, Perna wrote


I don't want to derail that thread, so I'll start a new one: the concept of de-triggering sounds like a smart and healthy one - what exactly does it mean and how is it done? I imagine it has to do with making one's triggers clear to oneself in the mind and deciding not to give in to them, on the assumption that triggers are subconscious things which lose their power once they are brought to the conscious mind... but that sounds like something that would be rather more easy to say than to do. So are there any techniques for doing it?

here de triggering means exposure therapy.. you purposely expose yourself to triggers and use positive coping tools. done enough times you are no longer triggered by what you were triggered by.

[CantExplain]

I'm working on triggers right now - or would be if T would cooperate!
I'll let you know how that goes.

Thank you all! CE, yes, please let us know.

I'm not sure we can ever totally eliminate triggers, but I've found we can lessen their impact by being aware of what our triggers are ... learning how to respond differently whenever they do get set off ... destressing our lives as much as possible ... finding ways to to calm and soothe ourselves ...

Not exposing ourselves to people, places and things that continue to trigger us (I'm talking about abusive people and situations that may encourage us to engage in our addictive and self harming behaviors) ...

And, since this will be a lifelong, ongoing process, to practice being Patient, Gentle and Kind with ourselves (and others) as much as possible all along the way ...

Sincerely,
BrokenCloud

[mixedup_emotions]

My T and I have recently talked about working on something like this. I tend to become paralyzed when triggered by certain things....and T wants us to work on how to gain movement by doing some sensory work (feeling my feet on the floor, smelling, tasting, etc.). I asked him how I would work on that, and he said that we could do some mental recreation. I immediately became anxious....so we are putting it off until I'm ready. *sigh*

[Perna]

Self esteem works the best for me in de-triggering. One doesn't get hurt as easily or jealous or anxious by what others are doing or saying because one is working only with one's self, and one is friends with one's self. You can ask for or receive advice from others and sort it out without getting personally involved, knowing the negative, unwanted stuff is not advice but just something the other person is playing out and not about you. You can take the negative, wanted stuff without feeling like a failure, knowing that one learns from one's mistakes (and start really enjoying when you make a mistake, knowing it is an opportunity to get better at whatever).

[Sannah]

I got rid of my triggers. I worked them from both ends. You need to process the things that are getting triggered up. Talk about those past events in therapy and let the emotions out and process them with your therapist. If you release the stored emotions then they can't be triggered up.

Secondly, work on the present. When you are triggered stop right there and tell yourself that you are being triggered and that the emotions are coming from the past and that you are safe in the present. I kept doing this and each trigger got less and less until it disappeared completely after maybe 8 times. (My triggers were not traumatic, however).

You are correct about making the subconscious conscious.

Originally Posted by Sannah

I got rid of my triggers. I worked them from both ends. You need to process the things that are getting triggered up. Talk about those past events in therapy and let the emotions out and process them with your therapist. If you release the stored emotions then they can't be triggered up.

Secondly, work on the present. When you are triggered stop right there and tell yourself that you are being triggered and that the emotions are coming from the past and that you are safe in the present. I kept doing this and each trigger got less and less until it disappeared completely after maybe 8 times. (My triggers were not traumatic, however).

You are correct about making the subconscious conscious.

This makes a lot of sense for me, thanks. I suppose that the fact that I can't envision getting emotional in front of my therapist isn't such a great thing if I want to work on this :-) However, I also don't have traumatic triggers, I think, so it might be something I could do on my own.

Thank you all for your great insights! Each of the previous replies has given me something to think about.