[Dreamy01]

I'm just wondering how people feel about T's other clients, whether or not you actually see them?

I've noticed that my feelings have changed throughout therapy and also with different therapists. With first T I was very aware of the other clients which due to the environment was unavoidable. I felt very threatened by them and hated seeing them and probably vice versa. Sometimes I would leave my arrival to the very last minute so I wouldn't see the client before me. Also, I would count the time I spent with T to the last minute and see whether the client before me had the same or more time. This causes me great pain cos often T would overrun with previous client whereas she would have me out on the dot

I saw my former t at an agency and a few months after I started seeing her my T started seeing a regular client before me. It was difficult at first but after a while the client started smiling at me briefly as she emerged and I started to smile back. It felt weird but okay. As time went on I felt safer in my relationship with former T so this client wasn't so much of a threat, particularly as we are totally different ages, although I still kept tabs on how long T was spending with the client as well as me.

Coming to the present, I've never seen any of my current T's clients, which I feel relieved about. I'm glad I found it easier to deal with the client of my former T, but I still don't feel comfortable seeing other clients and especially knowing how much time they spent seeing my T. It opens way too much for me. I think I would feel very jealous now if I ever did catch sight of a client. I think my T allows enough of a gap so this never happens.

As this a common problem? I'm wondering what others experiences are if anyone wants to share.

My T works from home. She works private practice. In 9yrs I have never bumped into another client. When I expressed that fear once she reasurred me that would never happen, and it never has.

There was once a chair made out of lolly sticks on the shelve in "our" room. I guessed a xmas pressy from another client. I pointed it out, told her I didn't like it in the room. Next session it was gone. I expect she moved it into her library, but I felt in that action she had taken my feelings seriously. I don't think for long about other clients now because having never seen them and having been with her for do long, I feel safe in our relationship. Dare I say feel she is geniune enough for me to trust that there is no need to over worry about them.

[Dreamy01]

That's great Earthmamma, it sounds like your T really respects you.

Likewise, my T works from home. I didn't realise until I started working with her how essential a quiet environment is for me. That includes being unaware of other clients. Before seeing her, knowing about other clients was the norm. Therefore it was impossible for me to realise what an impact it had, how unsafe it made me feel. I don't have to ponder other clients anymore which is a real relief and helps me to keep focussed on her and our work together. Not sure what has brought this issue up, but it's important for me.

Spot on dreamy!

[WikidPissah]

Prior client always runs over and they come out laughing. The client after me GLARES at me when I come out on time. Yea, it bugs me but I am dealing with it.

I always see my T's other clients as well clients for the other therapists and pdocs in practice. It really doesn't bother me at all. I actually don't give his other clients a thought. I mean, who they are and how they interact with T is their business, their life, and has absolutely nothing to do with my interactions with him.

[Perna]

I'm like you are at present, did not see other clients very often so didn't think much of it. If i did see them, they were "leaving" which is always good?

[granite1]

i see my T at an agency so i don't know if anyone i see on the way out of my appointment is there to see my T or not.i don't know how i would feel but i know i couldn't help but compare myself to the other client

[mixedup_emotions]

I do see T's other clients when they're leaving or in the waiting room when I'm leaving...and sometimes it bothers me - especially when T is late. Sometimes when I'm walking out, I see the next client and become sad at the idea that I am no longer occupying T's space and his focus is entirely on the client that's in the room. Funny how I appreciate that so much when it's my time....

And then there's the people in my group T who also share my T individually....THAT is a whole other issue which stirs up the jealousy occasionally and in a more powerful way....Sometimes I find it to be just too much....

[tkdgirl]

On occassion I will see a client leaving or there will be the next one in the waiting room. I don't pay any attention to them (couldn't even tell you what they look like), I guess I'm a bit self absored and thinking about me when I go see my T.
I suppose if I was attached or has some strong connection to my T I might have a different reaction however I know my T is a professional and just like me other people pay to see her too.

[bounceback]

I see my T's other clients. It really used to make me jealous. There is one client who comes really early, the same time I do. It used to bother me that T was going to see her first when she came out to the waiting room to get me. I even mentioned it to my T that i didn't like seeing her there. Over time I feel less jealous because we kind of socialize now while we are both waiting and I don't see her so much as a threat. There are clients in my group though who see the same T I have and that still makes me jealous especially when I think they have more in common with my therapist than I do.

[critterlady]

I've seen a couple of his other clients a few times. I'll admit to not liking one of them because his session consistently runs over into my time.

I do wonder how he can switch gears so quickly, from one person's angst to mine. He seems to manage it just fine, though.

I think its a good thing to be able to identify our feelings around other clients. That way it can be explored. Part of me at first wants to go into denial. Doesn't want to admit to what appears on the surface as a childish reaction, but is really an important reaction.

[Dreamy01]

I agree it's really important to be able to identify the feelings and hopefully talk to t about them. I should think most ts would be aware that feelings could arise when sessions with previous clients overrun or even when one client catches sight of another. It's good if you don't have those feelings but when you do I think they can contain valuable material to delve into. I know my feelings with first t stemmed from feeling left out and that others were more important and deserving of more time. It also brought up a lot of pain about people in my family who 'acted out' and thus got more attention whereas I was the quiet, compliment child. This transferred onto feelings about certain clients who seemed to get more attention from t. So it's all relevant.

[Dreamy01]

I couldn't actually talk to my first t about those feelings at all. I didn't feel safe enough. My fear that she preferred the previous client ate away at me and sadly it was never addressed because I was too afraid to hear the truth. In fairness, I don't see what she could have said that would be an adaquate reason for keeping the client longer when I always had to leave on time. But maybe if I'd aired my feelings about it I would've felt some relief. It's hard when you don't feel safe enough to do that though.

[healed84]

I have seen a couple of his clients come out of his office, but he spaces his appointments so he has time in between each clients unless he is running terribly behind. So, usually there isn't another client in his office when I come in. On Wednesday, I talked to T on the phone in the morning and he wanted me to come in that day b/c he had a cancellation. So, I went in got there right at the time he asked me to and figured he would be ready to see me. Well, I sat down and heard a very loud ,am in their talking to T.. and that really did get under my skin. Not, that I was pissed at either one of them, but just bothered me for some reason. Come to find out it was an older client who got his time or day mixed up and since T had time he saw that client, since he knew we wouldn't be having a full session on that day. I think I prefer not having someone in there before me now!

[Chopin99]

I feel a bit different from others here because T's other clients really don't bother me. I never see any of them on a regular basis and it seems that no one is on any kind of set schedule. I've seen a couple of older men, two young couples and one older couple, and other women of various ages come out of her office or go in after me.

One lady came out of T's office looking somewhat upset (her session went over by a good 20 minutes...unusual for my T) and I heard T tell her, "You're going to be okay. It will get better, I promise." When I entered T's office, I asked if that lady was really okay. T said, "I am certain she'll be fine." I actually had some empathy for that client.

In my previous work position, I was case manager for 12. I had my favorites, but I loved and did my best for all 12. I simply hope my T is similar (and I believe she is). I guess I understand the business.

Would I like to be a favorite client? Sure. Am I? I don't know. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? No. I'm not an island.

I feel glad for them that they're probably getting the same kind of good therapy and care that I get. I don't feel bad emotions about it and now am wondering if that is weird?

I rarely see his other clients. Sometimes I see one before me, rarely the same person, and he has lunch after he sees me so there's no one waiting. Maybe that helps me not be upset? He does CBT some and I wonder if a lot of his clients are short term clients. I don't know.

[Dreamy01]

It's not that I don't feel empathy for other clients. I once overheard a client crying loudly in first t's office and that memory stayed with me for some years. Even now I still think of her and wonder if she's all right. It's more an insecurity thing. I appreciate the other clients are also people who have a right to see my T for whatever issues they're dealing with, but my feelings come from quite a young place.

I feel very weird and selfish for saying this, but the only thing I've ever wondered about my therapist's other clients is whether any of them feel connected to and helped by her. I'm assuming they do, even if I don't, and I wonder how they do it. I've never seen any other client of hers; the appointments at her clinic are scheduled with 30 minutes in between, I think.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by roseleigh7

I feel glad for them that they're probably getting the same kind of good therapy and care that I get. ...

me too. I wish them well, but I must admit that if I ever hear them laugh, it makes me feel like such a trial of patience for T.... not a lot of laughing going on in my sessions.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Once in a while it used to bother me when I saw a teenage client until I figured out that I needed to deal with my own "teenage" feelings. Now I am fine and am actually glad that my T can be there for her other clients like she has been for me.

[Asiablue]

It doesn't bother me too much about other clients, i don't tend to see any. Although i did see one once and it felt a little weird, kinda embarassing and made me feel like she was better than me or more liked by T... made me feel a little vulnerable.

[ColourBars]

I remember a time when I was half-sleeping in my chair (came to therapy after a long day of work), I had my eyes closed but I can hear my T saying goodbye to a client as he was walking them out of his office area. I sleep with my eyes open with my eyeballs rolled up and I was probably drooling. What a site that musta been for the other client of his... XD

[newtus]

ive seen many of my T's clients. but only one i felt jealous of. i hate to say it but it was a child. the child gave them a hug. i think i have some childhood issues. WELL... i know i do. lack of severe maternal attention. my T is female...soo..yea...i want the attention..i want the hug. the child looked depressed, vulnerable and i couldnt help but think of myself as a child and just remembering nothing but the rejection from most back then. i regret the jealousy but then i dont...