[stopdog]

That therapist I see said something about a line of questioning from her to me on a topic as being interesting but not therapeutic (mind she kept asking about it). It seemed to me like all the other conversations we have had so I am not really certain what the difference is. I could tell no difference at all. Can you all tell when you are being therapeutic with the therapist versus not being therapeutic?

[WikidPissah]

Therapeutic means: of or pertaining to the treating or curing of disease; curative.

So when you are talking about your state of mind and things that make you unhappy or whatever it's therapeutic. If you are talking about what kind of dog food your dog likes it's not.

Does that help?

[stopdog]

Then it is never therapeutic. So talking about stuff that may make some weirdo bondy thing happen with the therapist is not therapeutic?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by stopdog

So talking about stuff that may make some weirdo bondy thing happen with the therapist is not therapeutic?

That would be an avenue to therapeutic so it would be good. "weirdo bondy thing", LOL!

I would have thought discussing the 'weird bondy thing' would be therapeutic.. unless maybe she thought you were intellectualising?

[stopdog]

The therapist was talking about just some general topic with me. I assumed she was asking me about it to try and do some wily therapist manipulation to create the bondy bits. She was the one who both kept talking about it and said it was interesting to her but not therapeutic. The topic had nothing to do with any part of therapy. I don't see how I was intellectualizing any differently than usual. Like I said, the whole thing seemed like the usual appointment to me until she made the distinction.

[likelife]

Did she maybe differentiate it as not therapeutic because it pertained more (or equally) to her than it did to you?

[unaluna]

"being therapeutic" usually means I cried in the session, or T did. it feels like something gets stirred up, like literally.

[SpiritRunner]

Huh. I find it interesting your therapist would keep talking about something she thought was actually not therapeutic or would do something for the therapeutic relationship, that weirdo bondy thing y'know or that she had no therapeutic reasons in pursuing that aspect of the conversation ..... what is she saying, that she was just talking about something because she liked it and wanted to talk about it?
I guess sometimes with either one of my Ts, there were a few minutes spent talking about something light or something not really related to an 'issue' I had or something sort of like small talk. But I really think their aim in doing even that stuff was to make themselves relatable, to help further the therapeutic connection, to use something to act as a buffer or a grounding thing or a transition to getting into or finishing up the work .....
Sometimes too we talked about some intellectual thing or topic that I wanted to talk about ..... I suppose there were times when that was just because I wanted to talk about it and not talk about my real-life issues or whatever. Me just using them as a sounding board for my thoughts and ideas and analyses, and them going along with that for a while .... but always with an aim toward keeping it therapeutic.
Your therapist sounds interesting to me, anyway.

[unaluna]

is this a distinction she (or you) makes often? how did this subject even come up?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by hankster

is this a distinction she (or you) makes often? how did this subject even come up?

I don't know the difference so I have never made the distiction. This is the first time I recall her doing so. I just wondered if anyone on this forum thought about or recognized such a distinction.

[stopdog]

I am fairly certain the therapist crying in my appointment would not just be non therapeutic but atherapeutic for me..

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I just wondered if anyone on this forum thought about or recognized such a distinction.

My previous T/pdoc told me that I "just liked coming in to talk to him" - so I took that to mean non-therapy was occurring as far as he was concerned. He did NOT tell me that prozac might cause mania because he didn't want to put the idea in my head - that was pretty non-therapeutic to me, as I did become manic from it, and he didn't know me well enough to see it, nor did I know myself well enough. When I went back to him last year for a consult about the rupture with current T, the whole flavor of our interaction had changed. Before, it was like I was a monkey banging away at the piano keys. Now, hey, master class, and human to boot.

[Perna]

I would think anything directly about you or your issues (why you go to therapy), or of interest and brought up by you, could be therapeutic but something brought up your T, and/or something that doesn't appear to be relevant to you or your issues but which you don't mind talking about (did you yawn or appear bored? :-) would be "interesting".

Conversations are very fluid though; when you start a discussion you can't know where it is going, something could trigger a thought or feeling in the other and suddenly you could be in the midst of therapeutic. One of the most therapeutic things in my life was when I was making biscuits for dinner and got the dough stuck on my hands; very related (also) is when I was in the Mall and said "yes" to an ice cream cone when I normally say "no thank you". And don't ask me about the flat tire.

[stopdog]

I have not seen (or felt even I guess) a difference no matter what gets talked about. How was making biscuits therapeutic? How is doing anything with the therapist therapeutic? What makes one interaction therapy and another not when all of it seems the same to me - talking about me seems no different than talking about the weather to the therapist. I don't dislike the woman, I can converse with her and not be bored usually. But what makes one thing conversation and one other thing therapy? Surely not just subject matter? Is it?

The idea of anything all over my hands creeps me out. I can do it if I must, but I have to be in the very right place or it is just a misery.

[Freefall1974]

[quote=hankster;2327687]"being therapeutic" usually means I cried in the session, or T did. it feels like something gets stirred up, like literally.[/

You have seen a T cry in session???

[unaluna]

[QUOTE=Freefall1974;2327881]

Originally Posted by hankster

"being therapeutic" usually means I cried in the session, or T did. it feels like something gets stirred up, like literally.[/
You have seen a T cry in session???

Yeah, just this current T. I think he literally feels FOR me. He just sits there and goes with WHATEVER he's feeling - he doesn't hold back, internally? I mean, he ACTS professionally, but yes, he will get red eyes, teary-eyed. That to me is crying - it's rare I do much more than that myself.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by stopdog

But what makes one thing conversation and one other thing therapy?

Forrest Gump would say, Sh it happens. Like in a play or short story, there is the opening stuff, where you tell the story of the characters; then there is the rising conflict, then SOMETHING HAPPENS - and the main character (and the reader, or the audience) is changed forever. That's the therapeutic part. The rest is just development. The rising conflict can also be therapeutic - sort of engaging in a dance. It's why you can't get therapy from a computer program - you don't truly engage with a program; not that it doesn't engage with you (altho that's probably part of it)?

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by stopdog

That therapist I see said something about a line of questioning from her to me on a topic as being interesting but not therapeutic (mind she kept asking about it). It seemed to me like all the other conversations we have had so I am not really certain what the difference is. I could tell no difference at all. Can you all tell when you are being therapeutic with the therapist versus not being therapeutic?

StopDog- I am not sure if this could help- BUT i saw this question and thought what a good thing to ask

When I was in therapy with my therapist- So much was not therapeutic- meaning, it was things to talk about- at times interesting, but I did not get closure on manners or find a new out lit or she was telling me things I already was trying and doing- (which I suppose in away is confirmation of keep trying out what i am doing but at the same time- it did not relieve my worried head of I am doing things "wrong" and it did not make me feel like I was getting better).

I am sorry if I am taking this out of the therapist room and taking it into real life here-

But when I lay on the couch sad, depressed and just "moping about" not doing anything but thinking of bad OR just brain dead from over load of emotions- It is not therapeutic
but when I come home from a long stressful day from work, and lay on the couch for a bit and rub my head and just try to clear my mind -and remind myself that there are bigger things that the minute struggles at work- this is therapeutic for me.

Venting can be a double edge sward with me- To vent to someone that is like a wall, with no input on the manner can make me more mad; but yet to vent to someone that gives either a similar feeling of me or perhaps has me chew on a thought- that is therapeutic to me for it either gives me a validation of it is "ok" to feel the way I am OR it gives me another angle to look at that I maybe blind to at the moment.

In addition I will go into actions- Some times when I make dinner it is not therapeutic it it is a chore-Just another thing to do on my list... other times it is fun, it gives my mind something else to do rather than to think on my many issues-

I guess doing art for me is a better example- Doing art, creating some thing- It gives my mind to just STOP- do the painting, paint those trees- yeah sure it is no Bob Ross but you made a pretty picture. This is therapeutic in away of letting my mind rest but still be active- It is letting me rest from my problems I am going through or having; but being active still with creating and thinking- and a good thing for me- to say I made a pretty painting or piece of jewelry or a cute bear. I feel a release of something inside of me-- happiness maybe, perhaps release of some stress..sometimes clarity; that is another reason why it is therapeutic.

I am not sure if that helps- but I hope it does a little.

Be well and I hope you find what you need.

[sunrise]

I think something is therapeutic if it brings the client closer to healing. It doesn't have to be healing itself, but just a step in the direction of healing.

I think talking about "Interesting" topics can help the client and therapist bond. But maybe that isn't directly therapeutic enough to fulfill your T's definition? I think it's a fine line.

Stopdog, I would be interested to hear what your T says about the distinction.

When I was taking a counseling class last term, we learned to watch for questions that we asked the client that were to satisfy our own curiosity rather than actually do anything for the client (help him explore the issue, come to insight, consider new possibilities, elicit talk of change, feel understood, etc.). We were told time and time again not to talk with the clients just for the sake of talking. Every word we spoke was supposed to have intent. I wonder if that is kind of what your T meant by a conversation being interesting but not therapeutic?

[Snuffleupagus]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The idea of anything all over my hands creeps me out. I can do it if I must, but I have to be in the very right place or it is just a misery.

Are you sure you're a lesbian?

(And now I apologize for that, but I just do not have the self-control to leave that one alone.)

Therapeutic to me feels like I have been distressed and then been soothed. It leaves me feeling understood, and less alone.

[stopdog]

FRom these descriptions, I have not had anything therapeutic happen. I will ask that therapist, but I doubt she will remember saying it and she will give some crap response because she hates to explain anything.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

Are you sure you're a lesbian?

(And now I apologize for that, but I just do not have the self-control to leave that one alone.)

Quite certain.