[Towanda]

After six years, hundtreds of hours, pouring out of emotions, feelings, memories, rage, shame, etc., my T and I agree I am reaching the end of my healing journey with him. In other words, we are talking termination sometime within the next six months/year.

He gave me a homework assignment that I need to work on and bring in next week, and I thought it would be interesting to get some feedback from the PC community: What would ending therapy look like to you? Where would you like to be as a person? How would you describe yourself - what characteristics would you like to embrace as a person when you're living life and solving problems on your own, independent of therapy/T?

I'll start the list:

Success Criterion

aka What I Want to Be When I Grow Up and End Therapy

• Confidence in ability to handle problems independently
• Self-love, self-worth
• Self-nurturance
• Emotional regulation
• Soundness of judgment
• Absence of destructive behaviors
• Absence of shame
• Feeling complete/whole
• Ability to embrace one’s childlike qualities
• To feel human emotions – laughter, tears, anger, joy, sorrow – within a healthy range
• Knowledge of what is true; insight
• Truth-telling
• Openness, vulnerability, social ability
• Ability to experience/learn from failure
• Pride in all aspects of who one is as an individual
• Acceptance of all aspects of who one is as an individual
• Ability to look “outside the box”; beyond “black and white” thinking
• Realization that moods don’t last, i.e.; I won’t be depressed forever
• “That was then, this is now” mentality
• Forgiveness starts with self
• Feeling that the journey undertaken was a favorable endeavor; healing has come full circle; knowing that one is comfortable in one’s own skin

[geez]

I think that is awesome that you and your T came up with this list! I wish my first T had a list for me like this to look back on. It's an awesome thing to have with you along with the answers.

[Asiablue]

Ending therapy for me would look like me a quivering crying wreck. But presuming i am healthy and ready to be finished, i would walk out my last session feeling i'd achieved something, i'd have peace in my heart and i wouldn't feel like i was losing my therapist it would just feel natural.

[missbelle]

How about:
remaining a survivor no matter what
Its all small stuff
Life is a journey
acceptance of what is...e.g. the serenity prayer
learning to slow down everything and step back
to realize that contentment is not boredom
step away from a crisis
Let the universe be in charge
I have absolutely no control and its o.k.
I will mind my own business
I have set up good boundries and will keep them
My mental health is the first priority in my life over anything!

I really love your list that you made. I am no longer in any therapy and just on meds. I have tools now that I can use if I get too depressed or anxious. These tools are my books, my memories, my support system etc...al-anon would call this your tool box.
I have been blessed also that any meds I tried worked. I have been on anti depressants etc for 23 years

p.s. I would call myself a survivor now. I have had three major surgeries in three years, I am disabled and yet I am happy...really happy at least 95 percent of the time!!

[Mike_J]

The list is great.. and thanks for posting nice to read something that puts termination of therapy in a postive light.. it doesn't have to be unexpected tramatic event.. I know myself as well as many others fear ending therapy espessialy if it isn't on our terms.

[CantExplain]

I would throw a handful of earth on her coffin.

I'm getting close to the end of therapy I think. We're taking it slow and gradual. But I'm feeling much more stable, much more able to deal with life as it comes. I've pretty much exhausted all the old history stuff and it no longer has power over me like it used to. I'm feeling myself stretch out again and that desire to move out into the world again has come back. I'm seeing my T much less frequently now, and it really hasn't been a problem at all. How long will it be until I no longer see T at all? I don't know and I'm not worried about it. I believe it is just going to happen naturally over the next few months. Really exciting and calming at the same time actually.

[Honeybun]

Reading this thread has sent me in to a state of absolute freaking panic! I cannot even comprehend this.

[Towanda]

A year ago I would have felt the same way. Get through the day /week/year without therapy/T? No way Jose!! But truthfully you do reach the point where you feel a sense of peace of...yeah, I'm finished with this, I'll be ok on my own. I know I will miss talking with my T - he's wonderful, kind, caring man - but that's all I'll miss - the talking. I don't need him to solve, to soothe, to manage my crisis anymore. We've worked together for six years so I can do that on my own now.

Yeah it's a little scary but it's also a great feeling. But I do know I'm going to miss him

[lostmyway21]

What would it look like to me? NO WAY...not going to happen.