Wanting T to want you as much as you want her. I mean suspend all rational thinking, and what is that really about? Very young desires?

[purplelephant]

Young desires, sure. But for me I also think some older ones (though I'm only seventeen, so not exactly adult). I often feel like everybody else has.... something. I don't know what it is. But this thing that makes them with-it and together people and makes their lives worth living and just makes them... on the inside. And I'm on the outside. And I feel like whatever this thing is T has an abundance of it, and I want to be let into the inside. And if T fully returned feelings, that would let me in.
Which doesn't totally make sense. But I think that's a grown up desire more than a young desire.
There's also the young aspect, of course. But I had a good relationship with my parents when I was little (not so much now, but that's recent). So it really doesn't make sense to me.
Interested in the other answers....

[Perna]

Too little understanding of self esteem/love. If one has one's own life and is engaged in running it well, don't have as much time, need, and energy to have that depth of feeling about others in relation to one's self. So, in that sense, yes, young desires but knowing that doesn't help me much because it's not transference (so I can't work it through in that sense) and I'm not "young". Getting to know one's self well and liking that person avails much.

S Yes and no perna. I see think this has it's roots in earlier life and T representing my mother who didn't adore me, so there is transference and it can be worked through, but as you say yes there are self esteem issues for me now as an adult oy because of the unprocessed early self esteem issues.

[unaluna]

Two things - 1, T is always quoting Winnicott about the baby seeing itself thru the mother's gaze. So one phase is wanting T to look at us with that full face approval, that look of love? 2. I think is for a feeling of security as we grow and make changes, to make sure we still have that love to fall back on if we fail and need to go back - ironically, the more we have it, the less likely we are to need it, the more likely we are to succeed. Are we back to talking about UPR - unconditional positive regard? That is a way they can "want" us, within boundaries?