[skysblue]

She just is, that's all.

Glad she was there for you.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Glad she was there for you.

So often people on PC rail against the dependence they feel for their T. I am very glad I have been able to experience dependence. By trusting my T and depending on her, I am learning to stand on my own two feet emotionally. Dependence can be good if one's therapist is good.

Yes that's my experience too

And I think there is a distinct difference between healthy dependence and over-dependence. We all need to learn to depend on people in our lives; so many of us stayed protective of ourselves for so long that the trust isn't there. I think it is when you become on the helpless side that there is a problem. So proud of you.

[sittingatwatersedge]

only (for me) 5 months into therapy with T2, and I discover transference. I've read that that's when things really start moving.

It's scary. Trusting her, depending on her is scary. She tells me to lean on her for now, and I have no idea what that means. But something tells me that confidence in her will be well placed. She has been doing this for 25 yrs, there is probably nothing I can throw at her that she can't handle.

Skysblue, I am happy for yr confidence in T.

[skysblue]

I live in earthquake country. No one disputes that when the earth is moving that it's o.k with finding something to hold on to. It's actually advised to do what's necessary to keep from falling and hurting ourselves.

Same when our emotional world is roiling - holding on is good until the ground beneath us steadies a bit. Unfortunately, not all are comfortable with leaning on someone when the need is great.

[healed84]

Glad your T was there for you when you needed her to be and that you were able to reach out to her. Good work!

[tohelpafriend]

what exactly is transference in T and how does it happen? hope someone has the answer!....

"tohelpafriend"

[WePow]

It is good and healthy to reach out for help when it is needed. Yes, a T can save a life just as a heart doctor can save a life. A life is a life. Both have equal value.

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by skysblue

So often people on PC rail against the dependence they feel for their T. I am very glad I have been able to experience dependence. By trusting my T and depending on her, I am learning to stand on my own two feet emotionally. Dependence can be good if one's therapist is good.

this has been my experience as well.

[Wren_]

I'm so glad Sky

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by skysblue

I live in earthquake country. No one disputes that when the earth is moving that it's o.k with finding something to hold on to. It's actually advised to do what's necessary to keep from falling and hurting ourselves.

Same when our emotional world is roiling - holding on is good until the ground beneath us steadies a bit. Unfortunately, not all are comfortable with leaning on someone when the need is great.

A lot of the time those that we would try to hold on to where just as unsteady as we were. It's good to find a steady ground. It's understandable not to trust it.

It's fantastic when you do.

[Nightlight]

I'm in earthquake country too, so I appreciate that metaphor. I'm lucky that my T sees my dependence on her as something that is okay. She says it's okay, and even expected, for someone with a past like mine to feel that way (at this stage of the process). She often compares it to growing up. In therapy I'm still at quite a young stage, and quite dependent (although T did mention she thinks it's beginning to change now). She expects me to be able to become more independent as I continue to learn and grow. I'm so thankful to be given the chance to do that. My T is a life saver too.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by elliemay

A lot of the time those that we would try to hold on to where just as unsteady as we were. It's good to find a steady ground. It's understandable not to trust it.

It's fantastic when you do.

Yeah, elliemay - you're right that a person should be careful whom to trust. I am very fortunate that on my first attempt at therapy I have found a T who supports me 100% and whom I trust 100%.