[shoez]

I keep feeling my T hates me...or thinks im too dramatic, too stupid, too ugly too everything ..

My T canceled. and then I found myself all curling up in the fetal position somewhere..I dont even understand how I ended up that way...I dont mean ti react that way..but then bam I wake up and Im sobbing and crying and feeling like T will leave me eventually anyway....T said she had an appointment today and has to change my day...
I feel like this is what goes on in her head "
"Oh no is her tomorrow..eww..I gotta make up an excuse...Shes so annoying dramatic, shes such a difficult patient....shes disgusting...shes pathetic...shes a *****..

I dont know.. anything ....
I hate feeling like this...
I feel like a lost puppy or something.

I feel so pathetic.. I dont get any affection from the people that brought me into the world...and now im grown and I feel I am more alone than ever...my fate is like hugging the air and hoping it feels warm.

[WikidPissah]

(((shoez)))

Shoez,
ask... i did because that is what i believed. told t it felt like he hated me. he didn't take it serious at first. addressed other issues i threw at him that day., so
another session i was feeling the same, life lessons, he hates me. and told him again and then he told me something " from the bottom of my heart " he didn't hate me. he said those words to me that is what i remember the most. and he sounded real. didn't make any therapy speak words.
since then therapy has been a lot better for me. opening up more. taking more chances. trying to show more of the real me.

just try asking, i figured i had nothing to lose anyways. and then you know the truth. t's words.

[Mike_J]

I hide in fear of the phone on days that I have appointments with my therapist, I constantly worry she will call and reschedule. My brain knows that yes people get sick sometimes, or other things come up, I know it's not personal but I FEEL like a personal rejection.

I know your doesn't therapist dislike you in any way, but even you knowing that doesn't matter if you don't believe it, I wish I knew a way to make you (us) believe what I know in my head.

[jaxter23]

((((shoez))))

Ok you are not pathetic or dramatic or whatever else you think you are right now! Your T doesn't hate you or anything like that! Sometimes things come up unfortunately. I'm sorry she cancelled on you, but she didn't leave you forever. I know its really hard to be cancelled on. I hate it when my T does it or when she changed our meeting time by giving away my set time, but it happens and it all works out! I hope you feel better. **lots and lots of hugs**

[Chopin99]

I understand having these feelings, but I guarantee you she doesn't hate you, or think you're gross or overly dramatic. Sometimes T's have to cancel. I didn't get an appointment this week and I've been fighting feelings of abandonment when I know that is not the case.

[Sannah]

Shoez, try to remember that these feelings are coming from you and they are not coming from your T.

[googley]

((((((((((Shoez))))))))))
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I agree with the others that you should talk to your T about this. The only way you will know is if you ask.

[shoez]

Thank u everyone....all ur support always helps me get through. I barely notice its Teusday already 0_0

I dont think ide have the guts to tell her...hoenstly..Ide keep it to myself... D:

I worry shell think im like the most annoying patient in the world.

D:

You guys really helped ease my negative self talk..thank u guys.

ill just sit here and wait 0_0

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by shoez

I dont think ide have the guts to tell her...hoenstly..Ide keep it to myself... D:

I worry shell think im like the most annoying patient in the world.

This is how you get better by addressing these sorts of things and by having 2 sided conversations with your T.