[TinaL]

My son who is 26 has lived in and out and really been crappy to me.
My battery on my car needs replaced, but I don't get my check until the 1st.
So he tells me he will help me. But he is being hateful and won't just be nice.

In the meantime he does tell me that when his child is born and I need something I will be SOL( $hit out of luck) I honestly could not believe that!

I have let this kid move in and out. Take gifts that he has given and much more! Yes, I know it's all my fault.
The child's mother does not want anything to do with him. She will not have any contact with him.
But he has no stable living place and can't not even make his own lunches. How is he to take care of a new born?

I am hurt. *cry* Why would a son be that mean?
Give it to me straight.....I think I need to hear it.

[lostin08]

Tina, it is not your fault! my kid is the same way treats me like **** all the time. I think it is time to let your son sink or swim you did your job and he is an adult. I have never allowed my kid to live with me after she left to be on her own. If my kid couldn't make her own lunch she would starve.

[yang0868]

TinaL: I'm sorry your going through such pain. When I read your post, I believe it stirred up some transference in me towards you. I take care of my mom and practically do lots of things for her. The only thing I expect in return from her is respect, love, and for her to be happy. Unfortunately, that is not the case at all. She's so bitter and says hurtful things like your son to me. I wish I had an answer for you. So my transference toward you was I wished you were my mom for a split second and just maybe you would appreciate the things I would do for you based off what you just wrote. Maybe I'm feeling this way too because your son and I are close in age. Anywho, I'm sorry again that you're being mistreated.

[TinaL]

Originally Posted by yang0868

TinaL: I'm sorry your going through such pain. When I read your post, I believe it stirred up some transference in me towards you. I take care of my mom and practically do lots of things for her. The only thing I expect in return from her is respect, love, and for her to be happy. Unfortunately, that is not the case at all. She's so bitter and says hurtful things like your son to me. I wish I had an answer for you. So my transference toward you was I wished you were my mom for a split second and just maybe you would appreciate the things I would do for you based off what you just wrote. Maybe I'm feeling this way too because your son and I are close in age. Anywho, I'm sorry again that you're being mistreated.

Thank you for you're insight. I know I am not perfect, but I do believe in respect. I feel for you as well.

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by TinaL

Thank you for you're insight. I know I am not perfect, but I do believe in respect. I feel for you as well.

You're welcome!! I honor my mom a lot because she gave me life. The least I can do is respect her and be successful in life that way I hope she can see that the energy she put into raising me wasn't a waste.

[TinaL]

Originally Posted by yang0868

You're welcome!! I honor my mom a lot because she gave me life. The least I can do is respect her and be successful in life that way I hope she can see that the energy she put into raising me wasn't a waste.

I am sure she knows. I hope she does. You seem like a good young man. Hang in there.

tough love. its hard but it works. cores daughter was/is severely abusive to us and we let her and her gf move in and out with us 4 different times. each time believing she had changed. all 4 times we were wrong. finslly we hsd had enough of her abuse and kicked her out. her abuse/revenge tactics are so bad we literally had to relocate to another county entirely,and that was less than 3 weeks ago. time to let him stand on his own. we understand the love but enabling isnt doing them any favors. please understand we are in NO way trying to be mean but we have so so much experience with this that sometimes letting them go is the only way to really help them. we wish you all the very best and if we can be of any more help please let us know♥♥♥ thinking of you

[ECHOES]

He's telling you that you both need to be independent, and that he is moving that direction and his attention is going to shift to his child. That's mature of him, so take heart that he wants to be a good dad and provider for his family. While that can also hurt, of course we know that we just raise children, then let them go live their life freely. It isn't fair or healthy to be dependent on our children financially or otherwise.

to you for your hurting and disappointment.

Congratulations on upcoming birth of your grandchild !

Tina sounds like these are issues that need more than hearing it straight on an Internet forum. I hope you and your son find the healing you both look for.

[TinaL]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

He's telling you that you both need to be independent, and that he is moving that direction and his attention is going to shift to his child. That's mature of him, so take heart that he wants to be a good dad and provider for his family. While that can also hurt, of course we know that we just raise children, then let them go live their life freely. It isn't fair or healthy to be dependent on our children financially or otherwise.

to you for your hurting and disappointment.

Congratulations on upcoming birth of your grandchild !

I totally agree. And this morning I feel better. I just don't think I am all there about some things. But, it is time. And, honestly, I always felt better when he was gone.

[TinaL]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

Tina sounds like these are issues that need more than hearing it straight on an Internet forum. I hope you and your son find the healing you both look for.

I have been working with T about these issues. So yes, they are. And I will get in touch with T Monday.