[rainboots87]

Next week is my last session with my T before I move. She wants me to decide what I want to discuss and how I want the session to go(probably to avoid a repeat of last week's oh-so-fun combo of a lot of silence and some crying). What should I discuss? I'm very attached to her and so it will be difficult for me, but I don't just want to cry for the whole session. Any ideas? We're working on finding me a T in my new location in a couple months (I'm going to be at my parents' house for a bit first), but I don't know how much of that there is to talk about at this point.

T and I mainly talked about how important our relationship was, and what we both learned. He said that in all of his years of doing therapy, only one other relationship had ended in a planned "we're done, this is the last session" kind of way...that people tended to just start to cancel appointments and fade away. So he wasn't totally comfortable with the process either.

What I told myself, and T, was that I just wanted it to be good enough. It didn't have to be a "perfect" ending...I didn't want that kind of pressure and potential disappointment. I told myself that whatever happened would be okay.

SO. We talked about our relationship, and we reflected a little bit on how far I've come - we told each other some stories that made us laugh about how things were when I first started therapy. T talked more than me, because I was a mess...that helped.

T also told me some things to do when I left - to not isolate, to let people support me through the transition, to remember that I'm deserving of love. That helped. He knows me and knew what was most likely to trip me up when that last session was over.

If I had to plan a last session, I think I would want to reflect on how I've changed, and I would want T to help me problem-solve in advance about the things that I might struggle with after therapy is over.

[Perna]

I would try to find something in the future, something about your new place perhaps, to talk about so you can get a little bit of a sense of continuing and your T having been there with you when you get there. Maybe discuss if the new T should/is going to call this T to talk with her or how hard it might be to work on your issues with being preoccupied with moving, etc. Have you done any of the searching for a T in the new area yet? I'd try to maybe write a poem about what you want in a T (kind of like in Mary Poppins) and have it be obviously about your old T too so you can remember what you are looking for in a T and also recap what you have been able to do (actual activities you have done since seeing T that have been healthy for you) and you'd have that to give your old T and take into the future and to your new T and with yourself. Kind of a "notes from my past self" of what you'd like to remember in the future.