Stoping Trauma Work

I've been posting here alot lately. So maybe some of you are familuar with a little of what I'm going threw? I fianially go to see the T today. Man what a week. The T suggested we halt trauma work. We are wasting money if I am presently in a trauma setting. I cannot deal with one trauma and live in another trauma. I'm in an emotionally abusive controlling relationship. I'm tired of dealing with my husband but don't know if it the trauma's affecting us or if us being married just is not a good match.
I have been doing the beginings of trauma work for rape and neglect as a child. My husband needs to do trauma work for be beat by his alcohoilc father and having to raise his twin brothers. I've never been told it is not safe to go there (mentally). So I guess I'm really screwed up. I'm working on weather or not to stay with my husband. The T suggested maybe seperating while doing the trauma work and joining together throught out and put our sessions together from time to time. Them if desired go from seperated and not in the same home to being a married couple again. It would be costly but the question is would it be worth it in the end. Do we want to stay together that badly.
At this point I can officially say I'm done and am grasping at everything possible to keep things intact. I think my trauma's are helping control what I think. I have depression, recently lost my job, the controlling and arguing have been taking it's toll. My husband can be a good guy we've just been at odds for so long I think it's become a way of life. I want that way of life to end and something normal take it's place. I can see us working things out in the long run. Looking 10 years down the road I see it with him in the picture.
I just needed to vent. I'm scared, I'm afraid, I'm nervous, and I'm alone to much for my own good. Please pray that God will give me an answer soon. (One in nice bright lights so I don't miss it) If the Lord speaks in a small still voice I'm in big fat trouble, I live in a big noisy house and I have alot of chatter going on inside of my head.

(((big mama))) That's a ton of crap to deal with at once. I don't have advice, but know that there are people here who hear you and understand. I'm routing for you.

I am thinking about you and hope that things improve...I know that is not a lot of consolation, but I want you to know that I am rooting for you too, along with everyone else!!!

GOOD MORNING. What a nice start to the day to see I have friends who care. I just want to give you guys a big hug. I feel alone and scared but it help more then you know to have support. I see responces from familiar faces and new ones to. Thank you is all I can say. I hop the lord blesses us real good today. I know he will. We are alive and well or at least so-so. We are coherent enough to write and make sence all before 10:00 am Kudo's to us. Thank you God. Thank you guys here at PC. I don't know how I managed before finding you.

((((bigMama)))) I don't have any words to add just hugs

Big Mama, my T also suggested that my husband and I separate for a while to give us both time and space to work on our respective issues. I think, in retrospect, he was right, and it would have been better to do so. I know that I had big gaps in working on my actual issues while T helped me struggle with issues with my husband. I know my husband kept insisting for an unreasonably long time that his only issue was ADD, and he refused to actually address his underlying issues until just two weeks ago.

You should carefully consider your T's advice about the separation. I think both my husband and I would have progressed much faster if we had separated.

Thanks for responding back. Out T did have another suggestion. My husband was not pleased at all with the seperate idea. Out T suggested he use one T in the pratice and I stick w/ her. We stay in the same house but don't discuss w/ each other what the therepy is about until we are together. My H and his T and me and my T. We can then tackle things together. This is a more expensive path but a do able path. Time ran out before we got to any other options. So who knows. I sure don't

((((Big Mama)))) lots of hugs and support to you xx
Rose

Keep us posted and I'm glad you both have your own T's!