[skycastle]

It was... peculiar. He was very odd. Not sure if I'll go see him again or not yet. It's a little unknown.

He told me that I seemed sensitive, thoughtful, and a little reserved.

He said, "You know, I believe you that you are depressed, but I want to tell you that you don't show it, not even in your eyes. You seem happy. But I believe you. Just something to think about."

.....But I don't even know if I believe that I'm depressed? So the fact that he doesn't think I seem that way makes me feel like I don't belong in therapy.... How do I know if I don't need therapy?

You don't necessarily have to be depressed to need therapy... Only you can decide if you 'need' it or not, whether you have things you need to work through or address.. and, if this T is the right one to help you with them - first impressions aren't always right, but do you have any kind of gut feeling about it? From what you wrote here it doesn't seem so much like you two really hit it off...

[skycastle]

Well... actually, he asked me a lot of questions, and he touched on a topic that is important to me... so I don't know. He wasn't all that bad. Just a very strange man, lol. An alternative personality. But I did feel like he was working hard, and it made me want to be honest with him. But, I don't know if I have anything to share. Maybe I'm just going to therapy because I've always been in therapy? But then, I feel like something is "off" with me, and I'm very critical of myself and tend to get pretty despairing when I'm even just a little upset, and also I have a hard time expressing myself openly with people. But don't all people have little problems like that? Things will never be perfect. I don't know.

[Chopin99]

skycastle, I think only you can make the decision whether you need therapy or not. To me, if you are not having any obvious "issues" or traumas you need to deal with, it then becomes a "pro vs. con" thing. Cost/benefit analysis. Good luck in figuring out what you need to do.

[skycastle]

I'm embarrassed knowing there's this person in my community now who knows I'm a messed up weirdo and doesn't get to see me resolve the issues I'm going to see him in the grocery store or something, and he's going to be like, "Yep. There's weirdo girl. Stay away."

Implications of bumping into each other at the grocery store aside.... Perhaps you could attend a couple more sessions and see how it goes? Maybe he'll turn out to be so strange you won't care if he thinks you're a weirdo or not? Or, he could be a good kind of strange

I think even if I didn't have any major issues, I'd still find it helpful to talk things out and get an educated opinion, knowing what I said wouldn't go any further - like it inevitably does where most friends seem to be concerned! And, if there's one place you know you can be a weirdo and not be judged for it, it's therapy! I'd miss having that safe space.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

I guess what I hear him saying is not that you aren't depressed, so you don't need therapy-- but rather that you are wearing a mask that doesn't reveal your pain.

Maybe he thinks that a larger issue for you might be "unmasking" yourself and becoming more authentic, which might be a way of healing the depression as well.

Could be off base, though.

((((Sky)))) the topic of your thread caught my eye and made me smile. I am going to meet my T2 this week (T1, with whom I did really good work with is leaving to go to another practice way down south. Too far to drive or I would have asked if I could meet with her there )

I too am meeting with a male T which I am a bit nervous about considering what I would like to talk about but I am working myself up for it by writing a lot in my journal. I thought "well if for nothing else, he can read my writing and then we can Just stare at each other for the remainder of the time.

First impressions with our Ts are funny in that often times they are simply an interview process for both people! Weird could be good! We are all weird sweetie to varyingthe degrees

Do you feel comfortable enough to go back again after you've reflected? I think you mentioned he did bring up a topic or two that is of interest.

Regarding living in the same community...i can so relate to what you are saying! My T1 lived somewhere in my neighborhood. Hah! She did mention it to me at our 2nd session after she realized it and asked me if i felt ok with it. Also mentioned that she would totally maintain our relationship and privacy so she wouldnt say anything first even if we did see each other. I think that is routine / standard T practice. I didnt worry about it though.

(While we were searching for a replacement T , though, we were trying to find a female T because I felt more comfortable...the f T2 contacted me, I returned her vm with a vm and she never called back I called T1 to let her know that T2 was mia and joked "maybe she read my file, got scared and changed professions! Or even left the country" We both cracked up! That is when m T2 came again up as an option.)

*if it brings you any comfort and I sure hope it does, my best friend lives in a very small community and SHE is a T! Almost the whole town has seen her at one time or another professionally We NEVER discuss her clients or cases; however, she has shared with me that it is a bit awkward for her in that everyone knows what she does! She feels very awkward and feels she is the "weirdo"

Anyhoooo, so are you up for Part 2 with T2? Perhaps to see if you can focus on the things he brought up that resonated with you?

Wishing you the best on your journey! Please let us know how it goes.

Hugs, Rose