So today was my last session with T before I leave for vacation for two and a half weeks and then she is gone for a week so basically I will not see her for around a month. It went REALLY well.
Last session she offered me to go to two times a week but I had to turn her down because I couldn't afford it. She said she suggested it b/c I have trouble talking to her, so I really talked to her the whole session today. I started off telling her how I had weighed myself today and I have lost 20 lbs. from last summer, and she congratulated me and told me I had made some real life style changes and she was proud of me.
Then I talked to her about some things I felt stupid telling her, just things that had been going on in my life. For example, one of my good friends was in an abusive relationship and I helped her move out in the middle of the night two weeks ago (her b/f couldn't know about it) and now she is living in my neighborhood, which is nice. So I told her about that, and then we talked a little about how I identify as queer (I prefer that term to the term bisexual), and she asked me what it meant, if that's what people were using now instead of bisexual. She told me that most people are on a spectrum of sexuality, but most people just don't realize it. I already knew that, but it made me feel good having her acknowledge it and accept it.
Then at the end, I told her I was sad that I would not be seeing her for awhile. I had already told her this in an email, but never face to face. She was like "Yes, a month is a long time." and told me she would be looking forward to when I got back,and that I could always schedule two appts. for the week I got back since I would be missing so many. Then she kind of didn't say anything, even though we were over time, but just kind of sat there and looked at me and we were both quiet and I was looking at her also, and I don't know if this will sound silly, but I felt like she was looking at me with a lot of love. Like she wasn't even talking, but just kind of looking in my eyes and not getting up for a while. Part of me felt awkward about it, but another part wanted that moment to last forever. I was actually the one to break it. I kind of laughed awkwardly and was like "Yeah...." and I guess made motions to get up. It was a really nice moment; I guess even if she doesn't say that she will miss me back, I still felt like it was a really special moment and I could tell in that moment that she cared a lot for me. It was just really nice.
Jun 29, 2012, 09:39 PM
It is always hard when a T is away for a while, but I'm glad that you had a really good experience in your last session - hopefully it can give you something to reflect on while she is away if you begin to struggle.
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