[Cavi]

I am starting to see why therapist/patient friendships do not work...We both love dogs but in other ways we are so different...I have been asking myself lately why we are friends...Part of me wants out and the other part wants to hang on for dear life because it would be to painful to walk away...
I have been to her house and it is so different than what I visualized and I thought than how can we be friends being so different from one another...Maybe it is time to slowly start pulling away...Now is not the time to talk to her about this...
She puts me with the same belief she has on a subject and I let her, the question is if I burst that bubble that she has about me would she still be there...At this moment I think not...I don't do friendships yet I am doing this one...
Maybe today I am feeling rejected and that is why all these questions are swirling around in my head...If you read this you get a cookie because it makes absolutely no sense...

[WikidPissah]

mmmm cookies.

The friendship doesn't work. I saw this exemplified for me in high school. My mom finally got help and decided to divorce dad. She and her female therapist became great friends but the therapy stopped. She never did get the help she needed. Now she is an 82 year old with severe narcissistic traits.

Can you get another T on the side, without her knowing? You need a leg up on this one. And...it is NOT your fault. T should know better.

[kiki86]

oh dear! how did you become friends with your T in the first place? she shouldn't have allowed that to happen

You and your T are friends? This isn't going to work. Sounds like your T is rather boundariless. No wonder you sound confused.

[pbutton]

I can see why this would be massively confusing. My advice would be to run this situation past another therapist. Get another point of view from someone in the know.

[critterlady]

I agree with pbutton. You need an objective third person to weigh in on it.

Generally, friendships with therapists outside the therapy session are a bad idea. It becomes far too hard to separate the roles.

[Cavi]

Thanks everyone...I am going to look for another T without my current T knowing...She just had surgery and will be out of the office for at least a month if not longer so now is a good time to do it...
When we are in session the help has pretty much stopped and I get frustrated because of that...Your right she has no boundaries not with just me but with her other clients...If I went into detail of what has gone on the past year everyone would be dumbfounded...

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by Cavi

Thanks everyone...I am going to look for another T without my current T knowing...She just had surgery and will be out of the office for at least a month if not longer so now is a good time to do it...
When we are in session the help has pretty much stopped and I get frustrated because of that...Your right she has no boundaries not with just me but with her other clients...If I went into detail of what has gone on the past year everyone would be dumbfounded...

Cavi.. I'm so glad you're looking out for yourself. I can't imagine how awful it would be for me if I lost my therapist in a "friendship." I really need her to be my therapist - not my friend.

Take care of yourself

Oh gosh that sounds terribly confusing and hard. I hope something good works out for you with a different t.

Originally Posted by Cavi

Thanks everyone...I am going to look for another T without my current T knowing...She just had surgery and will be out of the office for at least a month if not longer so now is a good time to do it...
When we are in session the help has pretty much stopped and I get frustrated because of that...Your right she has no boundaries not with just me but with her other clients...If I went into detail of what has gone on the past year everyone would be dumbfounded...

oh somehow youd be surprised at what our ex-counselor used to do with us♥

[Cavi]

Oh I imagine other clients have gone through alot worse with their T's...My previous T was a real winner....shame I wasted 8 years with her...I am getting less afraid of breaking up the friendship...I am checking into another T with good boundaries...

i wouldn't want to be friends with t, even if he did and i really believe in my heart of hearts, there is no way t would want that either.
t and client relationships are complicated enough.... ugh!!!

[kiki86]

i often wish i'd met my T socially instead of in therapy. i think he's the kind of person i would want to be friends with. however now that he is my T any kind of outside relationship would feel so creepy.

[Cavi]

I am having problems finding another T, nobody wants my case because of the topic...I am really down today...bored...and you name it......

[autotelica]

How do you know you two have become too enmeshed? Is it just because you've been to her house?

Or is it just a gut feeling? Do you just know when the boundary has been crossed without anyone saying anything?

[Cavi]

She calls me her friend...she has been to my apt. as a friend...There are 100 other examples.....it is no longer a client/therapist relationship...she has come right out and said that...