[suzzie]

is it good to have a strick t. who is hard on you. and views resistance as not wanting to do the work. expects you handle it. and keep moving forward.

[lostmyway21]

I would say that depends. Is that the type of therapist you want? Or would you want a therapist that is more flexible?

[suzzie]

shes the only t i can afford -- a free community t. so if i dont work with her. it would be no t.

just wondering if it ever works out with a strick one. maybe shes being strick on purpose. for some reason.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by suzzie

is it good to have a strick t. who is hard on you. and views resistance as not wanting to do the work. expects you handle it. and keep moving forward.

I'm not sure if your T being strict is the problem. (Although, I'm sure that working with a rigid or strict T could be an issue for some.) I'm more concerned that she wants you to "keep moving forward" and "handle it". I read your other thread as well and it worries me that you feel that she is forcing you to plow through trauma work. After only a few sessions you are still establishing trust with her. Have you told her that she is moving too quickly for you? Is there a reason why she keeps pushing forward? (Like you only have a limited number of sessions available.) If you don't feel like you can express your concerns with her, and if you feel like she is pushing you too far too fast, then it might be better to go with no T at all right now.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by suzzie

shes the only t i can afford -- a free community t. so if i dont work with her. it would be no t.

just wondering if it ever works out with a strick one. maybe shes being strick on purpose. for some reason.

Are you sure you can't switch T's? If it's a service that the community offers then there might be other T's that you can see.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by suzzie

is it good to have a strick t. who is hard on you. and views resistance as not wanting to do the work. expects you handle it. and keep moving forward.

As an Aspergic, I found T's strictness comforting because it made her predictable.

As an angry rebel, I hated it. (But then I hated everything.)

Doesn't sound very theraPutic.

[kiki86]

in what way do you think she's strict? your idea of strict might be very different from hers or someone elses

and views resistance as not wanting to do the work

That's a huge red flag for me. I would think that could potentially be worse than having no T. But then I don't know the whole context.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Apteryx

>> views resistance as not wanting to do the work That's a huge red flag for me. I would think that could potentially be worse than having no T. But then I don't know the whole context.

resistance (if there is some) is an indication that the T needs to look carefully at the pace, & what you are ready to handle.
IMO, a T's being judgmental about it is taking it personally, which I see as unprofessional and problematic.

be gentle with yourself

[Perna]

T's are not our mothers or teachers. I do not believe they are strict or lenient in their behavior; they want to work with us or would not accepted the job we hired them for. If we do not do the work of therapy in their opinion, we cannot be in therapy with those therapists, they cannot allow that as there are others who they could be working with. No one is going to pay you to work with them if you do not do what work you are assigned, the work associated with that job. It would be a waste of their time and hurting them because they would be trying to work with someone not doing their part which could affect their own health and well being if they allowed it to continue.

My T let me know up front she did not "chase ambulances" and she did not do small talk or allow discussion of other people. My T was serious about her work and that was very helpful to me.

[WikidPissah]

I worked with a strict t for 2 years. I have a very difficult time speaking, for many reasons... but he would ask me every session what I wanted to talk about, and if I froze up and couldn't say much he would tell me that I may as well leave and come back next week. He never helped me to speak, he never gave me any alternative forms of communication. It was a waste of two years.

Current T asks direct questions. He lets me write. I can speak to him now.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Perna

My T let me know up front she did not "chase ambulances" and she did not do small talk or allow discussion of other people. My T was serious about her work and that was very helpful to me.

She sounds strict to me!

[stopdog]

If a therapist does not have the personality or approach that will work well with me, I do not go back. I would never work with someone I thought was acting "strict" at me - not the therapists place to be like that with me at all, nor do I work with therapists who are unwilling to ask questions. Some people do not mind it or seem to work well with it.

[suzzie]

thank you

im going to try and find a balance to make this t happy. i want to do the work. i always have. trauma is hard.