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#1
Aug 07, 2012, 11:39 AM
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Today was my second day with my T, and I don't think I ever want to go back. I basically almost panicked right in front of her for about 15 minutes just because we were talking about things I'm not totally comfortable with. And she still wants me to take meds. And she wants me to consider melatonin for sleep. AND she wants me to try talking to my mom to let her into my life just a little bit. This is all so much and I'm so overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. All I know is that I don't want to go back...
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 Angelornot, anonymous112713, Anonymous32897, Anonymous37913, BatsAndButterflies, beauflow, Dreamy01, FourRedheads, Mike_J
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#2
Aug 07, 2012, 11:54 AM
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I know how very scary it is to spend a large amount of your session time in panic. It has happened to me the last two weeks. However, I've finally decided, if I'm going to panic, then in session, with my T, is probably the best place to do it! At least I have someone there to support me and help me handle the panic, and talk through it with me. Plus, trying to hide the panic minimizes what I'm feeling.
I would encourage you to go back. Talk to your T and let her know that you're feeling overwhelmed with all the things you feel she's expecting of you. If meds are not something you can do right now, then tell her so. Let her know that you need to slow things down a little bit. A good T will meet you where you are and help you work towards your challenges. A good T will listen when the client says that it's all to overwhelming at the moment. You might also talk to your T about coping strategies for the panic. My T has given me some great tools for managing panic without meds. Your post reads as frantic - I can tell you're overwhelmed. Take a deep breath, focus on the moment, and then think about what you can actually manage right now.
__________________
---Rhi |
| beauflow, JustDontAsk
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 Angelornot, AngelWolf3, beauflow, JustDontAsk
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#4
Aug 07, 2012, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Please hang in there and keep posting. You can do this. |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#5
Aug 07, 2012, 12:16 PM
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It does sound quite overwhelming for you at the moment. I know it's hard but it sounds like this t really wants to help you to make things easier. Take it one step at a time and if it feels too much, try to tell your t.
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| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#6
Aug 07, 2012, 12:41 PM
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The melatonin is a good idea if you are having sleep issues. My teenage son is on ADHD meds which are notorious for causing insomnia, so his doctor has him take melatonin in the evening to help with his sleep. You can by it over-the-counter at any grocery store.
Hang in there with the therapy. I think we've all wanted to run at some point. It is okay if you got into a panic during your session. What better place to do it but with a therapist, right? |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#7
Aug 07, 2012, 01:42 PM
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JustDontAsk - I am sorry you had a rough session.
I agree with the others who have suggested asking t for some coping strategies. The first few session with my t were mainly focused on learning breathing and imagery techniques to cope wtih anxiety. They are very helpful. Ask your t if she could teach you those before you start delving into more discussion. We didn't get into the difficult stuff until I was coping with the anxiety better. I do not like meds, but I do take melatonin. It is not a prescription.You can buy it in the vitamin section. I take a very small (600 microgram) dose and it helps immensely with my sleep which in turn helps immensely with my mood. But I would ask t or your doc about a recommended dosage and find out if it might react with anyother medications you might be taking.
__________________
Normal is just a setting on the dryer. |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#8
Aug 07, 2012, 01:49 PM
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Therapy is scary. I guess that's why it's called therapy, and not the circus or the playground. If you're just having fun, you're probably not getting anything done.
Rhyme unintended. I would repeat Rhi's advice, which I can't find any fault with. Your therapist asking you to consider taking steps towards change, which is medication that might help you, an herb that might improve your sleep, and opening yourself up to the people in your life seems to me to be suggesting important changes for you. And change is always scary, especially if we have built up walls around us for our safety. Even the idea of someone peering over those walls is scary. What you're feeling makes sense. I would encourage you to breathe deeply, go back to therapy, and tell your T how you were feeling last session. She can't know that you were almost panicking last session, and she can't know the strong feelings that are evoked when she raises these issues. She needs to know these things in order to help you, and you need to be straight with your T in order to help yourself. You can do it. It doesn't feel good to be scared, but it also doesn't work well to operate your life based on avoiding fear. I have found that making choices based on fear are consistently the worst choices I make. Fear is survivable, and so is therapy. But you gotta be open to change, and I figure you are, otherwise you wouldn't have tried therapy and you wouldn't have posted here. Peace and comfort to you. |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#9
Aug 07, 2012, 02:08 PM
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Hang in there JDA
 If you have a hard time telling your T that she is asking too much too soon, maybe send her an email explaining your overwhelm? She will understand. I have felt over-whelming anxiety about situations and understand how hard this must be for you. Each visit should reduce the anxiety a little as you develop the relationship with your T. If this T really makes you uncomfortable, you can always go to another one. Keep posting to us 
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| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#10
Aug 07, 2012, 03:56 PM
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Well I took a nap, so I'm feeling a little better...I get so emotionally stressed...And then I lose it...
Sorry about that... I did tell her I was panicked...And she asked me what I was panicked about. And I told her that I don't talk about these kinds of things. And she told me that I do a great job of talking, and then she went to a different subject before coming back to what we were on...My nervous habits were so obvious the whole time. My legs we shaking, my hands started shaking, I had to text one of my friends the whole time...It seems like I'll never make it through one session without at least texting someone... And well maybe I exaggerated a little bit in my explanation earlier. I was kind of freaking out just a little bit, if you couldn't tell...  Sorry about that...She does want me to consider meds for anxiety and melatonin for sleep. But she didn't say I had to start talking to my mom. She told me to consider it, to think about it...So I don't actually have to do anything. Yet. It still seems big to me...And I get so nervous about it...Probably why she wants me on meds...I can't win... Honestly the only thing that stopped me from panicking though was the fact that I was with someone I wasn't comfortable with...I don't do that in front of my friends...So I had to hold it in until I got home to freak out... I might try the melatonin, I also posted about that in the sleeping forum. (I forgot the name...) So I'll see what I get there too, but from what I understand, it works fairly well, and it's not a drug, and it doesn't cost a whole lot... Change is scary...And I'm not a fan of it...But I'm trying, even if I am failing... I have a hard time just telling her I don't trust people...But I did that today...I don't know how to express myself in person near as well as I do on here... I tried to reply to everything everyone said...Sorry if I missed something...And sorry it's so long... JDA |
| Anonymous37913, geez
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#11
Aug 07, 2012, 04:05 PM
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(((JDA))) Glad things have calmed down a little bit since you first posted this thread.
I can relate to expressing oneself much easier online than in person. Trust takes time. It happens a very little bit at a time for me and sometimes it's like I take one step forward two steps back. Try not to be too hard on yourself (I know it's easier said than done. I'm very self critical).
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#12
Aug 07, 2012, 04:14 PM
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I am really self-critical too, I'm feeling pretty much like a failure today, and all the intense emotion is back...
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| Anonymous32897, Anonymous37913
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#13
Aug 07, 2012, 05:33 PM
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Hey JDA!
You are doing great It is Way harder in person to talk about this stuff. It can get easier the more you post about how you feel. The more you run through things on paper (Electronic ) the easier it should get with your T. Just take these one at a time.
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| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#14
Aug 07, 2012, 05:34 PM
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I used to be really scared to post, so I guess maybe I'm not a total failure, just a partial failure...
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| Anonymous32897, dailyhealing
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#15
Aug 07, 2012, 06:41 PM
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I don't think you are a failure at all! What you are trying to take on is extremely hard, probably the hardest thing a person can do. Therapy is extremely hard work, but it's important to stick with it to see the positive results. I think you are doing a wonderful job, and it sounds like so many on here feel the same! Keep up your good work and keep posting on here! You can do this!
__________________
dailyhealing "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#16
Aug 07, 2012, 07:01 PM
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I found it very helpful to T when she saw me at my worst. Talk to T about why you don't want medication. T may be able to help you sort it out. Your not a failure, I find if I don't want to go I have to go. Yes, therapy is very scary and I commend you for even going to one session. Your T is probably still trying to find what will help you the best. Don't worry about having a panic attack there your T has seen worse I'm sure. Take care and I hope you give it another chance. I read some where to give new T's 6-8 sessions before deciding to leave. best of luck.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#17
Aug 07, 2012, 08:28 PM
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Quote:
She can't make you talk to your mom and she can't make you take meds. She can suggest. If she feels really strongly she could stop working with you, but she can't make your do anything. In a sense that helps me feel a little more comfortable. She can't make me talk about things and when we do activities she always "invites me to......." To reinforce I don't have to. I also vote in favor of melatonin. Melatonin is a chemical that your brain naturally produces. It says, "ok jda, its time for bed, I'm going to make you feel sleepy now". It doesn't sedate you or knock you out. If you continue running around it probably won't help at all. But if you lay down and you're in the midst of a racing mind, it will tell your brain that its time to sleep. Also I'm curious, your said your sessions are only half an hour? I think for me that would make me more anxious - I usually stay pretty worry for the first 20 minutes |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#18
Aug 07, 2012, 08:31 PM
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Actually, I was wrong. The first session, the "get to know you" session, was only 30 minutes. Today's was an hour. It was actually better the first 15 minutes, then it got to be pretty awful...
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| sittingatwatersedge
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#19
Aug 07, 2012, 08:39 PM
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JDA............. hugs to you if OK. It's a hell of a system, but it works; stick with it for a while if you can, and see what comes. PC is open most 24/7.
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| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#20
Aug 07, 2012, 09:02 PM
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My next appointment is on August 20th at 10am.
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| Anonymous32897, Anonymous37913
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#21
Aug 07, 2012, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
Many years ago, I was sent to a new T who - on my first session with her - purposely pushed my buttons. I emotionally overwhelmed and left in a panic. Now, after years of therapy, it seems that the T may just have been doing a thorough assessment and was touching a lot of bases. Of course, I am sure the T knows that progress comes at your pace and not at theirs. It is good to see that the T is ambitous and seems to want to help you. My tactic is to walk into T sessions with a written list. It includes things that have been on my mind that need immediate attention and my tak on what issues have priority and which don't. Tell the T what your goals are and how you would like your life to improve. Discuss whether you might need meds and what the alternatives to meds might be, e.g., meditation or yoga classes. I am sorry that your first session was so traumatic and hope that those that follow go better. All the best to you! |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#22
Aug 07, 2012, 09:56 PM
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Thanks, everyone, I'm never let down when I post on here.
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| Anonymous32897, dailyhealing
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| dailyhealing
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#23
Aug 08, 2012, 05:10 AM
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JDA,
I hear that you have difficulty trusting people, but it sounds like you are really trying to trust your T  The emotional roller coaster, in my experience, was in relation to my level of trust. It gets better the more your T responds in an empathic, helpful way.Keep going, you are doing great! Take care. |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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#24
Aug 08, 2012, 05:36 AM
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yeah, if it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.
__________________
......................... |
| JustDontAsk
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| JustDontAsk
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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