Child Sexual Abuse survivors- has your T ever employed any play therapy techniques in their work with you? Such as giving you stuffed animals to hold during session, or having "conversations" between stuffed animals (you have one T has one) and you talk like each of you is the animal you're holding, or T singing silly kid songs when you get upset/cry to distract you from the tears (If I cry, I shut down and won't say anything else), keeping things on hand for you to destroy if you get angry, allowing you to throw (soft, foam like) things at them etc...

Anyone ever experience this as an adult?

If not, what does your therapy look like? Just sit in the chair and talk?

[critterlady]

My T has never done that. I can't imagine him doing it. I can't imagine me doing that with him, either. Actually, he never comforts me or distracts me from tears. He thinks I need to feel the emotion as fully as I can, since I tend to shut down.

My therapy is of the "sit in a chair and talk" variety, but I never think of it as "just" that. It can be, and often is, really deep.

[geez]

Originally Posted by TentativeConnection

Child Sexual Abuse survivors- has your T ever employed any play therapy techniques in their work with you? Such as giving you stuffed animals to hold during session, or having "conversations" between stuffed animals (you have one T has one) and you talk like each of you is the animal you're holding, or T singing silly kid songs when you get upset/cry to distract you from the tears, keeping things on hand for you to destroy if you get angry, allowing you to throw (soft, foam like) things at them etc...

Anyone ever experience this as an adult?

If not, what does your therapy look like? Just sit in the chair and talk?

I am a CSA survivor and......

I hope you don't think of me as being insensitive but I LOL! when I read that! Just the thought of throwing something (soft object mentioned above) at T to dodge I found humorous.

Now on the subject of having something to destroy when angry? I Love that idea!

Originally Posted by geez

I am a CSA survivor and......

I hope you don't think of me as being insensitive but I LOL! when I read that!

Now on the subject of having something to destroy when angry? I Love that idea!

lol I know, but throwing things is fun, but never anything that will harm her. Mostly nerf type things that don't hurt. A pillow sometimes. Or the stuffed animal I'm holding. And dodging is not allowed! As long as my aim is true all my missiles hit home,lol.

As for breaking things- she has things in a box that are for destroying or hitting (safely), it's kind of cool.

[CantExplain]

A lot of adults have an unsatisfied need for childish play.
I think therapy would be a good place to do this.

[geez]

Originally Posted by TentativeConnection

lol I know, but throwing things is fun, but never anything that will harm her. Mostly nerf type things that don't hurt. A pillow sometimes. Or the stuffed animal I'm holding. And dodging is not allowed! As long as my aim is true all my missiles hit home,lol.

As for breaking things- she has things in a box that are for destroying or hitting (safely), it's kind of cool.

Sounds like fun!!!

I did do an exercise that involved me being physical with T2. I stayed sitting on the couch while she stood in front of me with the side of her hip facing me. She put a pillow there and asked me to push as hard as a could. The more I pushed the more she leaned and I eventually broke down. It was like the physical exhaustion and release in my body allowed my emotions to come forward. Probably one of the two things I liked about T2 but her 'craziness' got in the way so I'm ditching her and going back to T1.

[unaluna]

my T and I are both in our 60's, both traumatized as children, and we totally play dolls and throw stuff. I chose him specifically because he is a child psychologist. Adult T's just weren't doing it for me

[stopdog]

No. I would hate it. I saw a couple of therapists who I ruled out because they had stuffed animals all around. If it works for you - great - just not for me.
In fact, when I make a list of pro and cons for staying with the one I see, lack of stuffed animals is at the top of the pro list.

[critterlady]

That's really interesting, Hankster, that you chose him because he's a child psychologist. I never would have thought to do that.

My T doesn't take clients under age 14. I do like to play - and he laughs when I tell him about the stuff I do (mostly coloring and romping with pets). I just can't imagine him getting down on the floor to play with blocks! Which reminds me, I always liked playing with blocks. I need to get some blocks.

[quote=TentativeConnection;2497062]Child Sexual Abuse survivors- has your T ever employed any play therapy techniques in their work with you? Such as giving you stuffed animals to hold during session, or having "conversations" between stuffed animals (you have one T has one) and you talk like each of you is the animal you're holding, or T singing silly kid songs when you get upset/cry to distract you from the tears (If I cry, I shut down and won't say anything else), keeping things on hand for you to destroy if you get angry, allowing you to throw (soft, foam like) things at them etc...quote]

My T hasn't gone to "extremes" but a few times she has talked about me having some difficulties accepting the smaller, needier parts of myself that cry out to be recognized.. .. Look, the woman isn't a touchy feely guru or some flake, but she does express concern that I'm too rejecting of the younger more wanting parts of myself (She's very Jungian in her approach). She doesn't use stupid, touchy feelie words that alientate me, but I sometimes want to just tell her to give it a freakin break, I don't want to know or recognize those silly, needy, sucking parts of myself! But then I see that and know that those are the very parts that hold me back because I keep leaving them behind and don't stop to allow them their say and their resulting "growing up" opportunities.

But in spite of all the discomfort her comments stir up, I get her drift. I'm not a terribly accepting individual when it comes to my own personal needs and/or wants. I HATE and reject that part of myself that ask, that whine for attention. I just want that part of myself to shut up, grow up and get a life! But I also know that those parts of myself aren't going to ever grow up or find understanding or accpetance unless I find a way to recognize or validate their "silly, babyish" life.

To be totally honest, I'd sooner take those little sh#t s out into a big field and put them in a space craft for Mars! Maybe they'd find life on another planet and that would give them direction. I'm being a bit ridiculous in my avoidance statements here but I want you to know that I sometimes feel totally rejecting and hateful towards those parts of myself. I DON"T WANT THEM TO BE ANY PART OF MY PROFESSIONAL REASONABLE LIFE!!!!!!

At one point, my T asked me to find a doll that represented who I was at a critical young age. She admitted that this was extrememly helpful to her in her own therapy. She even showed me the doll that she had decided upon and it sits in her office. Funny how I never saw or recognized it until she showed it to me. I gotta admit that it was too "foo foo" and "girly girly" for me <G>

But all and all, her conversation about finding a representation of myself as a young child was very grounding and honest. She let me know that she went through this same search in her own therapy. Guess, what? I went home that night and began to feverishly search the internet for dolls. I couldn't let the request alone. Many hours later, I found that doll on Ebay. I'm NOT KIDDING!!! I found myself at a young age, it's almost spooky how much this doll looks like me when I was little "not a foo foo doll and definitely NOT girly girly". The doll was actually described as a "boy" doll in cowboy outfit. It was me! I loved playing cowboy as a little kid. He/she had blue eyes and a bowl blond hair cut. I was unrelenting in my bidding for this doll and I won the bid.

So what happened? I got the doll, opened the package, felt sick to my stomach, took the doll to her office and left it there. And there it sits. It's been there for months and I can't even look at it. I know this is significant but I can't even use it to make things move forward for me. I am hopeful that it will be something I can use at some point, and if not, I won't worry, because the search for her and the bidding war was exilerating enough for me LOL And you know what, somewhere deep inside of me I guess I know that I will only work with the issues that revolve around that little doll when I'm ready. I really really like my therapist's willingness to wait!

Originally Posted by stopdog

No. I would hate it. I saw a couple of therapists who I ruled out because they had stuffed animals all around. If it works for you - great - just not for me.
In fact, when I make a list of pro and cons for staying with the one I see, lack of stuffed animals is at the top of the pro list.

Well, my T has an office full of toys...she treats a lot of children and families, not just adults. I chose her though bc I felt I could connect with her, and it turns out the toys are just a bonus :-)

[suzzie]

mine have just talked so far.

[stopdog]

I know it works for a lot of people and it is always good when these things work out.

Originally Posted by TentativeConnection

Well, my T has an office full of toys...she treats a lot of children and families, not just adults. I chose her though bc I felt I could connect with her, and it turns out the toys are just a bonus :-)

How cool, TentativeConnection! If you don't mind me asking, what kinds of things do you use .. .I'm not asking for specifics because I realize that would be too invasive, but I'm curious about what toys are connecting or comforting.

Sometimes I wish that my therapist would have finger painting supplies or clay available ... things that I could just drift over and manipulate without direct comment. I feel as though they would be comforting and soothing. I'm glad that you can connect with her so easily. She must be a wonderful therapist.

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

How cool, TentativeConnection! If you don't mind me asking, what kinds of things do you use .. .I'm not asking for specifics because I realize that would be too invasive, but I'm curious about what toys are connecting or comforting.

Sometimes I wish that my therapist would have finger painting supplies or clay available ... things that I could just drift over and manipulate without direct comment. I feel as though they would be comforting and soothing. I'm glad that you can connect with her so easily. She must be a wonderful therapist.

She has stuff for collage, sand tray, and alot of little figurines....foam dart guns, balls etc...just a myriad of things. I tend towards the ones she lets me throw at her, or the stuffed bear I hold at every session. I took home my bear and a small "protector" toy last time, but mostly I stay away from that shelf, I just like the ones I can hug. Or fling across the room.

As for being a great therapist- maybe a little too great. I find myself pulling away from that "connected" feeling I get with her, and I don't know why it scares me so much, because I thought I wanted that connection. But it is terrifying.

[rainbow8]

I'm not a CSA survivor but my T and I play or talk about playing in my therapy when we have talked with the child "parts". I don't have DID; I mean parts of my personality (my T does Internal Family Systems therapy).

Once she had me visualize the child jump roping; that was fun!! Or playing on the beach, my favorite place.

We have done some real play activities too. My favorite was finger painting, and making a collage. Once I scribbled in red all over a big piece of paper and tore up the pieces. I was angry that day!

We've taken walks which seem kind of like playing to me.
More recently, I was angry again, and T wanted me to throw one of her pillows at her, but I think she meant the floor so I threw it down, not at her. My child parts like to throw things.

[autotelica]

My therapist keeps a big teddy bear in her office for some reason. Once she placed it in my lap, but I can't remember why.

I think I would like play therapy. My therapist is always trying to get me to role play, where I pretend to be someone and she pretends to be me, and I'm really horrible at it. It always feels ridiculous. But if we did it using dolls or something, maybe it wouldn't feel that way.

[KazzaX]

I haven't experienced play therapy but to be honest, it sounds like a LOT of fun!

[unaluna]

my T has a big toy basket by the front door. every time I walked in, for the first few years, I thought, "those toys are for other kids, not for me." which is how I felt about my friends' and cousins' toyboxes. My doll that looks like me turned out to be a boy doll too. T sets up the room with our dolls sitting in our chairs and on our sidetables before letting me in. Boy. Then it's all defenses down, no b.s. allowed. A lot of work gets done, paradoxically!

[quote=TentativeConnection;2497206]She has stuff for collage, sand tray, and alot of little figurines....foam dart guns, balls etc...just a myriad of things. I tend towards the ones she lets me throw at her, or the stuffed bear I hold at every session. I took home my bear and a small "protector" toy last time, but mostly I stay away from that shelf, I just like the ones I can hug. Or fling across the room. How wonderful, TC, that you are able to find small "protective" toys to hang onto. It doesn't have to be each and every time. . .. it just has to be in session when you want and need them. Hanging onto something or hugging something is a pretty comforting thing . .. but then I sure GET the satisfaction of FLINGING that comforting thing across the room. It sounds like your therapist understands and gets that need. That's a GOOD thing~

As for being a great therapist- maybe a little too great. Sometimes we think that the person who GETS us on the deepest and most profound level is a "little too great", and that's not a bad thing. Often it's a really really scary thing. . . .it's as if someone can see inside our head. They can't, but sometimes it feels like that and we start to subsitute what WE THINK THEY SEE inside our heads. Dangerous <G> Sometimes we need to step back a bit and survey them with a jaundice eye. .. but most times, we find that our suspicion and/or caution was misplaced ... something left over from a long time ago. The trick is to be able to study, assess and settle on a good solid assessment of the person. It takes time to be a good and solid judgement of people, especially if we have been injured as a young person! Good luck with this. You sound like a person who has the ability and fortitude to come through the other side> My most sincere and caring advice? DO NOT PULL AWAY. ENGAGE. TALK. TALK SOMEMORE. REFLECT.. TALK. REFLECT. . .. TALK. BUILD TRUST. FIND SAFETY AND SWEET SWEET ACCEPTANCE!quote]

[granite1]

i am a csa survivor but i doubt my T knows this yet. but yes she does a lot of play T with me.she has used stuffed animals,board games that we made up, she would read childrens stories, we would sit on the floor and draw or do crafts. we have played with huge magnetic words .we have done a bunch of stuff to help me break down the huge wall of resistance and fear so i will be able to talk with her

Usually we just sit in chairs and talk... one session though, T did empty out a box of toys onto the floor, and we sat on the floor... it wasn't really 'play' though, my T just had me pick toys out that I thought represented me and family/friends in some way, what toys/characters they're like and which I wish they were more like... she had me line them up, and we talked about them. Then she did hypnosis with me based on them.

I'm not a CSA survivor, but I believe I suffered emotional neglect as a child (well, my whole life, really) and I was experiencing a sort of disconnect, so we did some work on 'rescuing' the inner child, which I believe is a technique often used to help CSA survivors.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by critterlady

That's really interesting, Hankster, that you chose him because he's a child psychologist. I never would have thought to do that.

My T doesn't take clients under age 14. I do like to play - and he laughs when I tell him about the stuff I do (mostly coloring and romping with pets). I just can't imagine him getting down on the floor to play with blocks! Which reminds me, I always liked playing with blocks. I need to get some blocks.

That reminds me. I made some play-do fish for T once.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

But all and all, her conversation about finding a representation of myself as a young child was very grounding and honest. She let me know that she went through this same search in her own therapy. Guess, what? I went home that night and began to feverishly search the internet for dolls. I couldn't let the request alone. Many hours later, I found that doll on Ebay. I'm NOT KIDDING!!! I found myself at a young age, it's almost spooky how much this doll looks like me when I was little "not a foo foo doll and definitely NOT girly girly". The doll was actually described as a "boy" doll in cowboy outfit. It was me! I loved playing cowboy as a little kid. He/she had blue eyes and a bowl blond hair cut. I was unrelenting in my bidding for this doll and I won the bid.

I think you are brave and resourceful.

[adel34]

I believe there's a book called Play Therapy with Adults, I'm not sure who it's by, but it talks about all this stuff!
Hankster, I didn't even know an adult could go to someone who's a child psychologist!
My VMT t would cuddle me a lot when I was really upset and sing to me sometimes. VMT, as a creative arts therapy is like play therapy for adults I guess, because it's using aspects of voice and movement (singing songs, experimenting with voice qualities) to access what's going on psychologically, in the same way that say art therapy does with art.
I got a bunny and named it after VMT t. two therapists before her, this one gave ne a couple stuffed animals to keep.
It would probably be good for me to throw stuff or destroy things when I'm mad. It would be healthier than scratching myself (si).