Going forward...

Hey guys!

I have an extra session on Monday. Last session was really hard as it was the first since our misunderstanding - and I was a mess. I had a lot of anxiety, found it difficult to be there, just wanted to hide... I just felt so vulnerable after putting everything out there - attempts to explain my reactions, my feelings, maternal transference stuff... everything. I emailed her afterwards, worried that things were still up in the air - not to mention awkward - but she sent me a lovely reply that reassured me... at the end of which she put:

You might want to write down all that you need from me, our sessions, and then we can agree the way forward?


But hmm! What to write?

I had a couple thoughts, but how do I know what I need? I know what I might like.. there are things that might make therapy easier for me, for instance: I'd perhaps like her to be a bit more directive sometimes, but maybe that wouldn't be as effective, wouldn't be 'good therapy'...

To be honest I like our sessions much as they are... we've been doing fine so far (one 'socratic' question and my subsequent hissyfit aside ) but as much as I'd like to show up with a blank piece of paper and say 'don't change a thing', I feel like she might think I haven't taken the question seriously?

I just wondered what some of you guys might write/say if your T asked you that question?

My advice? Don't censor yourself. Write everything down that you want and give it your therapist.

Is it good therapy or not? Who cares! This is your list. I suspect in the end it will definitely lead to good therapy and lots of discussion.

So far I just have stuff on her being more directive and asking more questions... wishing she'd 'take hints' when I try to bring things up ... and that I'd like a hug

I feel like this could be a great opportunity, in theory, asking for what I want... but I'm really happy with my T, and I really don't know what else I can ask for other than what she already gives me. (I mean, you know, that would be within the 'frame' or remotely possible...)

I would only write down I JUST NEED YOU IN THE SAME DAMN COUNTRY AS ME. Everything else is going great.