[adel34]

Hi Everyone,
I'm doing ok today. Still really down and not sure what I want to do in terms of trying to keep myself busy. I did call and e-mail the intern that I'll be seeing for free therapy, and hopefully she'll get back to me on Monday so we can set something up for Tuesday. I wish she were in on Monday or I'd set something up then.
I never heard back from my caseworker at the program after I wrote/left a mesage about not coming in anymore, that maybe this wasn't the right time. Which is fine. We hardly had a relationship.
So I called NAMI of Chicago to try and find a medicade psychiatrist. I discovered they're using a list that hasn't been updated since 2009! So all the info they gave me was wrong or out of date. One entry was totally out of date, the psychiatrist hadn't been there for years. The other was wrong. She was a psychologist, not a psychiatrist and didn't have a clue about who among her coleagues takes medicade.
I called a local health center that takes medicade and asked about their psychiatry services. They said I can have a phone screening in September but the first available appointment for new patients isn't until November. Then she put me on hold for so long I hung up and decided to call back Monday.
Irronically two day programs that I was on the waiting list for intake for got back to me to give me updates. I'm still on their lists by the way, because I figure I'm going back and forth on this so much that by the time one of them gets to me I may feel like going again, and it's easier to just be on the list then start back at the beginning again.
Well you wouldn't believe this one place. They say they serve people with disabilitys, mostly those with developmental disabilitys, and they have a totally separate program for those with mental illness. Still they had this whole thing on how they want to improve the lives of those with disabilitys, and all this.
I've learned that sometimes when an organization says they serve "people with disabilitys" they don't mean the blind. I know that sounds really wierd but it's true. Such is the case with this place.
The intake person was like,"We've never had a case like this. I've talked to my supervisor and we're not sure this is the best place for you. We don't have braille. We don't think our building would be safe for you to be in." I honestly was a bit shocked. I'm all too familiar with discrimination subtle or otherwise, (and this was not so subtle!). I just wasn't expecting it from these people. I'm having a hard enough time deciding whether or not to even go to a day program. Their program has some of the best services I've come across. They do this whole four week evaluation of you before you even really start to try and take care of all your needs and stuff. Anyway, I really didn't know what to say to this woman on the phone, so after I sent her an e-mail emphasizing that the best way to figure out whether or not I'd be a good fit would be to have me come to the building and us all talk about it. It really did upset me though.
This other place called me back. They have a special track for the deaf, (but not the blind of course!) They have this thing where they only take 30 people. You would think then that they'd cycle people through at a reasonable rate so that they'd have openings often. Well no. I guess they only have one or two openings a year!
She said the client they have who's trying the program out they'll know more about soon. If she likes it then their one opening is filled, and I'd continue to be on the waiting list. At least there were no blind person remarks thankfully.
I did call the caseworker for blind services by the way, and will hear from her soon hopefully.
I so wish that services for the blind and those with mental illness were intigrated. As in, if someone who is blind and has mental health concerns were living at a facility, or going to a day program, that staff there would automatically understand how to meet the needs of both those conditions. I looked and there's only one place in the country that has this, the Jewish guild for the blind in New york. It's kind of sad. Like how the facility I'm living in now is the only one of it's kind in the country. I just don't think it's fair that these places have tracks for other disabilitys and not the blind. And usually at blind services organizations the only counseling that's provided has to do with vision loss and that's really it.
There are so many other residents here who have mental health concerns. This one poor woman has ADHD anxiety and depression, and can be difficult as she doesn't know how quite to positively relate to others, but that's because she's not getting the help she needs. The staff openly are frustrated with and dislike her, but don't see where her behavior is coming from. This is just one example. I'd say probably half or more of us have things going on that the staff here are ginorant about. And then the people at the mental health organizations are ignorant about the blind. It never ends!

[unaluna]

cheez whiz I didn't know you could be the wrong kind of disabled, and that it would be blind. i'm sorry.

[eurydice]

Maybe you could seek out services for the general population, instead of those for the disabled. Services for disabled adults are generally geared towards people with developmental and intellectual disabilities. You may have better luck with sole mental health facilities if you go in already knowing what types of accommodations you may need.

[adel34]

Thanks everyone!
Hankster: Yeah, I guess you can be the "wrong kind of disabled" apparently! And yeah I'm surprised too that it's blind.
Eurydice: Believe it or not, the two places I'm referenceing here in Chicago are actually places where the general public can go, two of the few centers that are still open after the major mental health budget cuts we've had lately! They both just happen to have "tracks" for say the deaf, or developmentally disabled. There actually aren't a lot out there for the general public, disabbled, or otherwise. But the issue of people dealing with the blind not being knowledgable about mental health concerns, and those dealing with mental illness not knowing how to accomidate the blind is one that I noted in MA where I came from as well. I wouldn't expect IL to come up with the type of service I wish were out there, I'm just saying that in general, it should be something that is thought about. IL needs to gget more basic health care out there for all people before they come up with anything more advanced like I'm thinking of.