Panic Attack and e-mailing T..or not

I woke up this morning at 4 am in a full blown panic attack about my ankle-all the paranoid worry hitting me all at once...I don't know what's wrong with me, this is happening WAY too often as of late. After I calmed down the first thing I wanted to do was e-mail my T. But, taking a page from Rainbow's book, I managed to refrain. Well, sort of- I wrote the e-mail but didn't send it. It was hard.

I want to rip off this ****ing splint. I want to go back and not decide to jump. I feel confined and it is driving me crazy. It's hot in there and is only a taste of the extended fiberglass torture yet to come.

If I could I would remain blissfully medicated and unaware of everything until the damn thing heals. I need to renew old hobbies so I can keep my mind occupied so I don't go nuts.

Anyone know sign language? I want to sign. If I focus my frustration energy into signing I will be a pro at the end of this nightmare.

Or maybe I will be hospitalized. Ugh.