I wish I weren't so tired

Hi Everyone,
I know I haven't updated everyone in a while.
It's been up and down for me. My second session with t went well. We talked about my continued struggle to find a day program, and she kept saying how strong I am and how she can't praise me enough for what I'm doing. She's co-leading a women's group with a coleague that's starting wednesday. I said I'd try it.
My mom decided to pay for music therapy, (who knows how long this will last) so I'll be seeing a music therapist every other week I think. I had my first session thursday but for some reason it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Maybe it's just that she's not my VMT therapist who Imiss like crazy. I thought she was trained in this vocal psychotherapy thing, that's the closest thing to voice movement therapy in the music therapy world, but turns out singing is her weakest area! So who knows? She can help me learn piano which I want to do. It was just so tiring having tto concintrate on what she was teaching me. After she left I slept the rest of the day basically, story of my life.
That day program that was having a hard time accepting a blind person did finally get back to me today to invite me for a tour and to see about the fit like they would with a normal client, thank you finally! So that'll be next monday.
I'm still thinking that other program where I had the meeting with the case manager and it didn't go well would be a good backup, I just haven't called them back because I'm afraid the caseworker would be upset that I'm technically signed up with them while looking at other options.

I have a phone interview for a psychiatrist tomorrow, but he only comes to this health center on Mondays, and i think that's weird. What if someone has a med problem and it's not monday? And anyway, I wouldn't be able to see her until Nov. So I plan to set myself up with them tomorrow, but still be looking if there's any other options. Things are so limited with just having medicade.
I'm just so tired from doing all this. I spend so so much time sleeping, I'll sometimes miss lunch and dinner and I always miss breakfast. I just wish I felt better.

How does "music therapy" differ from "music lessons"?

Hi Can't explain,
Music therapy is using music to meet nonmusical goals. So in the case of mental health, it would be listening to music, or doing improvisation, or learning an instrument in order to help improve the person's mood, and understand issues in their lives just in a different way than verbal therapy.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I agree with your T that you're very strong and determined to find resources to help improve the quality of your life! Those traits WILL get you far!

I'm glad your parents will pay for the music therapy. It's hard when you compare a new T to an old one who you liked so much. That's how I felt when I met with the DBT T. Learning to play the piano sounds like a great idea! I used to take piano lessons when I was young.

Did you tell your T that you're sleeping and missing meals? That's not good for your health but I'm sure you know that. Maybe they can get you in to see the pdoc sooner. Maybe you need antidepressants?

I'm rooting for you and I know things will work out. It just takes time and trial and error. Hugs and more hugs for you, adel.

Hi Rainbow,
Thanks for answering this!
Yeah, you're right about comparing my music t to the other one I had. I'll try and give her more of a chance. Maybe the next time I see her will be better since we'll have more time to actually do music stuff instead of her just asking questions most of the time.
I'm not sure if my t knows about the sleeping and missing meals. I don't know if I told her, I will tomorrow.
Believe it or not I'm on 50 MG of Zoloft. I'd probably be worse without anything, but obveously it's not that effective. So who knows? My OT says that the zoloft might be what's causing me to be so tired, but I don't know. This why I wanted to see a pdoc! I'm sure we'll figure it out sometime.
Thanks again for everything.