[DualImage]

I've been seeing a therapist for about a year now. Whenever I talk about suicidal feelings, or self-injury, he doesn't comment much or ask many questions, or follow-up at the next session on those issues. I was just wondering if any of you have had similar experiences with therapists? I've told him it helps me to talk about it. I think he is trying to work on the underlying problem, but sometimes it makes me feel like he doesn't care.

[skysblue]

I've heard other people say that their T's don't explore those kinds of feelings with their clients. It's something I don't understand. Why would a T not address painful emotions? Maybe someone has an answer because I do not. I'm sorry you have to experience that. Have you ever asked him why he avoids discussing it with you?

With my T, we talked a lot about sui feelings that were popping up for me. In fact, she even called me once without me asking for a reply when she thought I might be in danger.

[Miswimmy1]

I feel like whenever I want to talk about self harm, or anger, or etc, my t backs off. I think it has something to do with the fact that they don't wanna trigger us, or push us over the edge. They act super careful. I agree that your t is probably trying to get to the "why" component, but I can see how it might make u feel like he/she doesn't care. Can u ask about it? They may just not know how to go about talking about it bc we all have different reactions.

[KazzaX]

I think maybe its because talking about it a lot encourages it. Like for example, if my T kept talking about me being violent all the time, I'd probably get all revved up and go out and pop a few people. The more you talk about these kinds of things, the more attractive they look.

[sconnie892]

My t is aware that in the past I've used si as a way of getting attention. While I've never asked her, I am fairly sure this is why she never initiates discussion about it. She doesn't want to think si will get win attention from her. If si is discussed it is because I bring it up.

I think most t s think of self injury as am attention seeking thing and that's why they don't encourage talk about it! My t even went as far as to say which way did my friend cut sideways or horizontal because those who cut sideways are just attention seeking:-(
My first t really went into deep discussions about it, she asked me to show her my arms then told my doctor I was self harming! She would ask why I did it and could I promise her not to do it again! She was great actually at that part of therapy, especially about suicide talk she made me feel so. Guilty twice that I changed my mind! I really had a plan and everything organised but by end of session I could not do it!
You should ask your t why they won't discuss it, tell them you need to talk about it!

[Screenager]

I recently e-mailed my T about SI urges after a long time of being "clean", and she never said anything about it either via mail or in the session. When I confronted her, she said she didn't respond to it because "you should know it's in the past and it's something you shouldn't do anymore". o_O Way to help me fight the urge.

[WhiteCruelty]

I think suicide is a very difficult question than even is not allowed talking about ON TV. Talking about it could cheer

[granite1]

i have SI for to many years to admit. i have had very few T that have said i have done this for attention. first there are many ways of getting attention and i think many T see it that way. when in residential treatment i had a lot of staff and untrained people who always thought it was attention getting and manipulative. all that attitude did was to teach me to be way more secretive about it. i never let anyone know i was doing it .when they did know my T then would always ask why i felt i needed to do that .i was never able to answer that but she never assumed it was to get attention. there are many reasons a person SI. attention ,self hate, grounding,communication,and on and on .i know for me i would SI for many different reasons. my T didn't dwell on the act very much beyond does it need medical attention but they do focus on the reason. the only time i told the T i see now i am thinking of SI she didn't freak out and just reminded me that i didn't have to do that.it was a crazy simple statement but at the time it really sank in that i didn't that i had control. she didn't say i can't but that i didn't have to.
i think that most T know there is a reason and like to focus on that and not the act itself .it could be so the person doesn't obsess and turn it into being all about the act to avoid the why.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I'm grateful that my T is always willing to talk about it and will even check in with me if we haven't talked about it in a while. These are things I need to talk about...not necessarily the actions, but the feelings behind them. However, if I can't talk about the actions or thoughts, it's hard to get to those feelings. If T brushed the thoughts aside, I'd feel either ashamed or invalidated, and neither of those feelings are helpful in therapy.

[granite1]

i wouldnt say my T's ever brushed my feelings or actions aside at all .if i SI the did not feel the need to know all the details and hows etc just wanted to know if it needed any attention and T was more intrested in the why. the T asked me only once if i still SI when she saw the scars on my arms .i said sometimes and that was the end of the conversation. untill years later i told her i was thinking of SI

[DualImage]

Originally Posted by Screenager

I recently e-mailed my T about SI urges after a long time of being "clean", and she never said anything about it either via mail or in the session. When I confronted her, she said she didn't respond to it because "you should know it's in the past and it's something you shouldn't do anymore". o_O Way to help me fight the urge.

That must be difficult. This T is like that too, tells me just don't do it, but that's easy for him to say.

[DualImage]

Originally Posted by skysblue

I've heard other people say that their T's don't explore those kinds of feelings with their clients. It's something I don't understand. Why would a T not address painful emotions? Maybe someone has an answer because I do not. I'm sorry you have to experience that. Have you ever asked him why he avoids discussing it with you?

With my T, we talked a lot about sui feelings that were popping up for me. In fact, she even called me once without me asking for a reply when she thought I might be in danger.

Thanks for the reply. I've never asked him why he avoids it, but I have told him that it helps me to talk about it, and I seem to not have these types of feelings as often when I talk about it. It puzzles me that he doesn't pick up on how this helps me, but then I think a lot of his method is getting to the underlying causes.

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

I'm grateful that my T is always willing to talk about it and will even check in with me if we haven't talked about it in a while. These are things I need to talk about...not necessarily the actions, but the feelings behind them. However, if I can't talk about the actions or thoughts, it's hard to get to those feelings. If T brushed the thoughts aside, I'd feel either ashamed or invalidated, and neither of those feelings are helpful in therapy.

My therapist is the same way. He is very willing to talk about it. I think I would feel invalidated if he was reluctant to discuss it.

[Victoria'smom]

My T want's to know the when, why, how and see the "damage" if I allow it. T tries to make nothing off limits to talk about.