[healed84]

*******Trigger for talk of rape*******


So, T and I have been processing the rape the last month or two. I am going through The courage to Heal workbook and book. Since really thinking about the rape I have thought about going back to the place it happend. It was just a thought in my mind, until the first day I met with my son's daycare provider and she is literally just over the heal from where I got raped. Then, I really started thinking about going over there. As a matter of fact, I started to drive over there.. but I stopped in the process, I wasn't ready to process that.

Well, T thinks it would be a good idea for me to go there. He doesn't think it is necessary, nor anything we have to do soon.. But- might be something to really consider. He asked if I would want anybody to go with me. I said no- he said not even my H? No way that I could have H go with me. Then he said, well he has gone to places of traumas before with people. He said he would go, and bring another T. At first, I was like no way.. but the more I think about the more I think it would be a good idea. I don't want H to go with me, b/c I feel like I would have to worry about what he is feeling, or worry about that I am not reacting the way I should be, or something. With two ts there, I don't have to worry about their emotions.. they don't matter in that sense. It would be good to have a profession to process those emotions with if they come up right then and there. I don't know..

So.. anybody ever do this with their T? Anybody else have insight on the prospect of doing this?

[mixedup_emotions]

I have never done this with my T, although he has offered to attend some medical procedures that I was panicking about. I've turned him down, because I felt that having him there would remind me of what I was so triggered about.

I have visited the site of one of my CSAs...I'd imagine it'd be helpful to have Ts there to help. For me, I'd rather do it alone and deal with my feelings alone. I guess that's why I haven't gotten very far in my trauma work.

[granite1]

heald that would be a huge step not one i would want to do alone.

That is so brave of you and a great idea from your T. I ll be thinking of you and praying it goes well. You seem to have shed fear and are working really hard on recovery, thats commendable.

[critterlady]

I think if you can do it, it would be very empowering for you. It's great that your T offered to come with you. Do you know why he would ask another T to come with you?

[lostmyway21]

Well I did this with T once. It wasn't as serious as a rape. But I had a traumatic memory from when I was a like 3yrs old of my dad holding me upside down over a bridge over the water of a lake in a HUGE park by my house. My mom was screaming yelling at him the whole time. That was the only memory I ever had of my parents together. T's office is by the park and we always go walking in it. I had him take a walk up to that bridge once. I got anxious and nervous like I always did. We hung out at the bridge and talked it out and reprocessed it all rationally. Since then I can go back to it and it doesn't trigger my PTSD. It helped me. I would definitly reccomend doing it. Who better to help you go and react to your reactions and help you process the feelings that come up than your T?

[healed84]

Originally Posted by critterlady

I think if you can do it, it would be very empowering for you. It's great that your T offered to come with you. Do you know why he would ask another T to come with you?

I am not sure why, critter. I have been thinking about that all evening.. I wonder if anybody has any ideas why he would want another T with him.

Originally Posted by healed84

I am not sure why, critter. I have been thinking about that all evening.. I wonder if anybody has any ideas why he would want another T with him.

my guess is to protect himself legally from you coming back and saying something inappropriate occurred...ask him

[Dani]

Originally Posted by healed84

I am not sure why, critter. I have been thinking about that all evening.. I wonder if anybody has any ideas why he would want another T with him.

I think it might be just to have someone else there to supervise since it's outside the usual location of therapy. It's kind of like when my T took me to a mental hospital where I had been committed many years ago, she had to drive in her own car and I had to follow her.

Doing that was a healing experience for me and I think you are very brave to consider doing this.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

my guess is to protect himself legally from you coming back and saying something inappropriate occurred...ask him

That was my guess. T's who don't normally travel outside of the office w/ there client on a regular basis probably would just want to protect themselves.

[healed84]

Oh, okay.. I suppose that makes sense.

I think it could be a healing experience when you are ready-but not before you are ready because then it could be damaging. Only when you are ready and there is no time limit on it.

[murray]

It sounds like it could be such a wonderful healing experience for you. How nice of your T do suggest doing that with you. I know that my T has done things like that with other clients and something similar with me one time. Honestly it was a real turning point in my healing journey and I am so grateful that he was willing to do something a bit out of the box in order to help me overcome a real challenge.

[Miswimmy1]

i think if its doable for both you and t, then i would go for it. i dont have experience with that kind of trauma, but I do work on exposure therapy with my t (for other triggers). we go on "field trips" as I call them, lol. And yes, while they are amazingly stressful, the relief and reassurance that you get in the end is amazing.

Originally Posted by healed84

I am not sure why, critter. I have been thinking about that all evening.. I wonder if anybody has any ideas why he would want another T with him.

its an unusual outing. i think the extra T would be there to "witness" that the outing is therapeutic and not a boundary crossing.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by healed84

I am not sure why, critter. I have been thinking about that all evening.. I wonder if anybody has any ideas why he would want another T with him.

WILD SPECULATION:

If you were to have a severe physical reaction (collapse or have a fit) he might need someone to help him get you home.

[healed84]

That is wild CE! I certainly hope it doesn't end like that.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

WILD SPECULATION:

If you were to have a severe physical reaction (collapse or have a fit) he might need someone to help him get you home.

Hm I was also pondering this.

[WikidPissah]

I wonder if you can think a little more about letting H be a part of this? He is the person who is a part of your life the most, letting him in could be groundbreaking. Maybe at least talk to h about the plan? Or bring him to a session discussing the plan? It would be beneficial to have him on board, at least so he knows what to expect from you on the days leading up and the days following. It's important to teach partners how to support us when we need it. It's also important for us to learn that we can open up to them and lean on them.

[healed84]

Thanks for the advice wiki.. I have been thinking about it on and off. I suppose the fact that I have no desire to let H in on this part of my life says something about the state of our relationship. I know what you suggest is a good idea, but I am still working up to letting me H be involved in that sense.