[SilverGlitter]

I'm coming to the very uncomfortable conclusion that I might a little attached to my T. Not in a big way, like I don't feel the need to share everything with her or want to always be with her or anything. But I struggle between appointments (depending on how I'm going at the time) and feel safest from myself in her office. I would never tell her any of this though! But it made me wonder, why do people get attached to their T's?

Is it the situation of sharing personal stuff with them? Is it their reactions, their personality, traits and characteristics? Or is it even for some people that their T's are just good looking? I was wondering, for those people that would say they are attached to their T, what has made you attached to them?

I'm trying to figure out why this is starting to happen mildly to me. It's really uncomfortable feeling even a little bit attached to anyone, I hardly ever let anyone in or rely on people. And I can't figure out why this happening to me now. So any insight into this would be greatly appreciated

This sounds like me just over a year ago... I never really let people in either. It's difficult and scary feeling these feelings of attachment, I know I fought it like hell and tried to deny the depth of feelings for a long long time (I think T is actually only just becoming fully aware..!)

I think it's a mix of things... Compatible personality, attractive traits... Maybe the T gives off a maternal or paternal 'vibe', kind of like something you didn't realise you were seeking... I think it's the way we go to sessions and start to share our innermost thoughts, we start to feel close... Something in learning to really trust and connect to another human being - maybe for the first time... I think some people feel stronger feelings of attachment, or have issues with it, depending on how they might have been raised as a young child...

(my battery is about to run out, but I hope that's in some way helpful )

I hear you. My t is big on attachment-- she wants me to be attached to her, and she is attached to me, but it is a newish kind of thing for me to feel attached to anyone, and its a little uncomfortable, but in a little way it is comforting to me, to finally be attached to someone in a healthy and happy way.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by SilverGlitter

I was wondering, for those people that would say they are attached to their T, what has made you attached to them?

Emotional intimacy, acceptance, understanding, the bond... I have a strong, healthy attachment to my T, and it has enabled us to go far and deep in therapy. I think if I didn't have that, we couldn't do the work we've done. I was not attached to my first therapist and our work together was much more surface--not useless, but we didn't go deep, and I didn't get healing. For me, there's some sort of correlation. I don't know if this is true for others.

[autotelica]

Her dependability made her "attachable" to me, I think. I like constancy and predictability. I like simplicity. I know what to expect from her (most of the time). Her room is safe in that it's the one place outside of my home where I don't have to always be in high-performance, "normal" mode. I can let my crazy side show through without judgment or rejection.

I think people fear attachment because they think it has to mean something more than it is. Like that you're in love or that you have a substitute "mother". My therapist definitely has a motherly side that I respond to favorably, but people in general tend to be motherly towards me and I don't generally care. So for me at least, I think it's not only because she's kind to me, but she's an island of comforting predictability in a changing, scary world.

Back in my early days, when I struggled with communicating my thoughts and I was horribly fixated on trees, I would tell her she's like my favorite tree--always there waiting for me to lean on.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I think I get attached and have difficulty holding all of my emotions and thoughts that I had during the week and wanted to see my xT so I could download all my emotions/thoughts. Take care

[Focus62]

I am also in this uncomfortable, getting-sort-of-attached, stage. I think for me it's mostly in her reactions. That she is not rejecting or abandoning me for whatever I am having issues with. That she seems to genuinely care about me and shows concern when I am concerned.. That she responds to my upsetting, earth-rattling, emotions in a gentle, and calming way and doesn't just push them under the rug like they don't matter. I have never felt that before from the two people in your life that are supposed to supply that "need" (your parents). I think it is more of a maternal attachment for me...

I'm getting attached too... I hope i don't get hurt, but here goes nothin.

My therapist is big in attachment therapy, and I'm very attached to my therapist, and she encourages it every step of the way. Originally, I fought her left and right, because I have trust issues. I then attached like an infant, and now I'm at the toddler stage. As she says we are growing you up. She's big on John Bowlby's work.

In the beginning I thought this was a load of malarkey, but its working. I am learning to trust, and now genuinely engage more with others, but like a toddler I can see her to refuel at any time.

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

My therapist is big in attachment therapy, and I'm very attached to my therapist, and she encourages it every step of the way. Originally, I fought her left and right, because I have trust issues. I then attached like an infant, and now I'm at the toddler stage. As she says we are growing you up. She's big on John Bowlby's work.

In the beginning I thought this was a load of malarkey, but its working. I am learning to trust, and now genuinely engage more with others, but like a toddler I can see her to refuel at any time.

This is how things are with my t also. She is very big on attachment and "corrective emotional experiences"

[susan900]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

This sounds like me just over a year ago... I never really let people in either. It's difficult and scary feeling these feelings of attachment, I know I fought it like hell and tried to deny the depth of feelings for a long long time (I think T is actually only just becoming fully aware..!)

I think it's a mix of things... Compatible personality, attractive traits... Maybe the T gives off a maternal or paternal 'vibe', kind of like something you didn't realise you were seeking... I think it's the way we go to sessions and start to share our innermost thoughts, we start to feel close... Something in learning to really trust and connect to another human being - maybe for the first time... I think some people feel stronger feelings of attachment, or have issues with it, depending on how they might have been raised as a young child...

(my battery is about to run out, but I hope that's in some way helpful )

Hi, I think what you say above, is true, its a combination of reasons, one gets attached.

I have found it most strange, as I have been feeling like this too! I never trusted anyone as much as I have felt understood, by the therapist.
Yet I also feel scared, like thinking "what is happened to me". I know that in my childhood, I wasnt close to my parents, think they where busy with my brother. Best of Luck everyone.