[carly011]

Hi everyone,

Its been awhile!! For the last 3 months i have been in residential treatment for anorexia and my depression/anxiety/BPD/suicidal ideation/self harm. It was hard, i did have to be transferred to the hospital once for inpatient because of suicidal ideation. After 3 months i was finally discharged on thursday. I am now in intensive outpatient therapy(8hrs a day, 5 days a week). I may be going back to residential depending on what my case manager says on monday. I have been really struggling, i have fallen right back into using eating disorder symptoms and my self harm has increased a lot. I just feel so gross and fat. UGH. So i may be admitted back into residential at least until i begin DBT therapy. This is all so hard :/ Especially because on the day i got discharged i got a message from my 1 friend that "i dont treat her like a friend so she doesnt want to talk to me anymore". I dont know how she got that impression but it really hurt, and being so fragile it sent me in downward spiral. Now i dont have any friends that i can talk to....the only friends i have are ones who are in residential so i cant talk to them right now.

But anyways, thought i would give an update for any of those who actually remember me!

Glad to hear you've been receiving help though sorry to hear you are still struggling. Thanks for stopping in and letting us know how you are doing.

[adel34]

Hi Carley,
I remember you and it's great hearing from you again!
I'm sorry residential was so hard. I hope you were treated well there. I've never been, nor have I ever been hospitalized, but have heard horror stories about the hospital, so just hope residential is a bit better!
That has to be so hard with your friend, and I can totally see how that would start things off in a bad way to have that happen right when you were discharged. I hope the DBT therapy helps you.
Know that you have us on PC as friends too!

I hope things get better for you soon carly and don't worry about your friend, sounds like she wasn't a good friend if she thought that for no reason anyway. You will meet some nice new friends soon.

[carly011]

Thanks everyone

I have been treated quite well in all my hospital stays and in residential. Residential was hard, but a good experience. The staff and other residents were amazing

[Dos3512]

Sorry your having such a tough time. Hope thing get better for you.

Carly,
glad you are back and i have always had positive experiences in the hospital. i don't like it there, but the nurses and other patients were usually nice..

take care of you....

Hi Carly, it is so good to hear from you. I wondered what had happened when we stopped hearing from you after you were only on a little while after recovering from your heart surgery.

I'm sorry that it is so hard for you after leaving residential. I had a friend who was residential for anorexia a couple of times. She always did best when she was discharged at the beginning of a week right into her outpatient program but I'm sure that is not always possible. It must be difficult going from a very structured environment to one that is not all in one day...

My friend used to have mantras...statements... that she used to say to herself...sometimes outloud to reminder herself of how she was supposed to think or what she was supposed to do..even if she didn't actually feel that way...

I hope you have something that will help and remind you of what you learned in residential and that will help you put in practice now... Maybe some way to accept that you have these feelings right now but that you aren't going to give those feelings any power right now... you don't have to act on those feelings.

Keep posting here if you need to...

[Wren_]

hi carly welcome back! i remember you also and like readytostop mentioned that you'd gone through heart surgery ... are you all recovered from that now? you've certainly had a lot going on lately that's good the residential program was so amazing; are you hoping you can go back there until the dbt program begins? sorry your friend was so hard on you i hope the two of you can work things out