[Onward2wards]

T and I are pleased with my progress uncovering negative core beliefs and old negative expectations based on those. The tricky thing is going to be undoing the habitual behaviors which have grown out of them.

I'll ask my T about this of course, but I was wondering if any of you have advice concerning how to disrupt old behaviors and getting yourself to adopt new, desired behaviors? Can this be done directly, or is it going to happen naturally as I get used to challenging my negative perceptions and fears?

Sometimes when I find myself wanting to do an old behavior (or even starting it), it helps me to do something ELSE that will make it impossible to engage in the negative behavior. For instance, if its something like biting my nails, I go put nail polish on them instead. I am recovering from anorexia, so if I want to do something like go throw up, I get out of the house or go practically glue myself next to my husband for a while. If its something like engaging in negative thinking, I find a really good book to read or a funny movie or on purpose start thinking positive thoughts (even if it feels fake and I'm not believing the positivity0-- and I start saying the positive things out loud. My brain has a tough time thinking negatively while I am actively saying positive things out of my mouth. FOr me, all those interrupting old behaviors is something that I have to choose to do, its never happened naturally for me I think.

[CantExplain]

The big step is noticing the behaviour every time it happens. That is often enough.

[QuietCat]

Changing behavior takes time and practice. It's not a quick thing at all. When you first start out, its mostly just about recognizing when you're doing or about to do the behavior and then reminding yourself about your core negative beliefs and why they are not necessarily true.

My T always says it's like you've been walking around with one color tinted glasses on all this time and you're not aware that the world is not just that color; it's many different colors.

For me, when I see I'm doing a negative behavior (like avoiding knocking on a door because I don't want to bother anyone) I have to remind myself why I'm afraid of knocking on the door and that if I don't knock on the door I'll never learn it's safe to do so.

It takes practice and persistence in catching your behavior each time, and in my case a lot of bravery to jump over the anxiety and actually knocking on the door, or saying "hi" first to a person. Eventually the new behaviors become easier and less anxiety provoking. I can say "hi" first without much problem now. Knocking on doors is still not so easy.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

great thread. I got help with some old childhood issues and thought that my behaviors would just "fix themselves." Yes, I can hear the laughter from here.

Well, they didn't. I've got an eating disorder too, and found I had to focus on the behaviors and notice when I was triggered (as Can't Explain said") before I could do anything about it. It's been about 10 months since I started trying to modify my behavior, and I found out it goes in waves. At first, I was all jazzed about stopping my old habits, so it was easy. I saw triggers everywhere and worked on them with my whole mind. Then it got a bit easier, and I grew a bit more weary of thinking about them every hour. So I got a bit lazy and BAM! the bad habits are back. So now, I need to go back to my vigilent ways. When I do, I can control my ED. When I don't, it controls me. Just my two cents.

[googley]

On: there are multiple ways you can change your behaviors. behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are all interconnected. They all influence each other. You can change things by noticing your thinking patterns and challenging the thoughts you want to change. You can also change it by directly changing your behavior. When you find yourself doing the behaviors you want to change, then change them. Do the new behavior. You can also do things that make it less likely you will do the old behaviors, like plan things that are counter to the old behaviors. Some people find it easier to change the behaviors first, some people find it easier to change the thoughts, and some people find it easier to change the feelings. You can also go at more than one at a time. You can do this.

[Miswimmy1]

I am not sure if i am answering the question, but I am doing CBT with my t, mainly for OCD, and all i can say is that it takes time. you gotta be patient. habits aren't formed ovrnight, and fixing those habits doesn't happen that way either. i almost think it takes longer to fix a habit than it does to create it. lol.

[KazzaX]

A habit is a lot like an addiction. You cannot just get rid of an addiction, because you will end up finding a new addiction to replace it. So the idea is to make your new addiction/habit a healthy one.