As many of you know from my previous threads I am struggling and fighting to accept my sexuality right now. To hetrosexual people this might not be such a big deal but to a gay person it means everything. It means hiding some of the most important parts of your life and living in shame.
I know quite a few of you are gay but even the ones who aren't still struggle with accepting some parts of ourselves, like the needy part of us, the grumpy part, the violent part we all have our issues and pieces we need to accept and either get rid of or embrace them.
Life is a constant struggle with something. I would like to be able to accept this part and move on to the next issue. Have any of you struggled with something and how did you cope?

[autotelica]

I struggle with my no-sexuality. I don't think I will ever be 100% comfortable with myself. I guess that's accepting that I will never accept myself? Well, it's something.

I'll be going along fine and then something will hitch me up. Like today. I was talking to a former coworker today and she asked about my love life. All the other coworkers around my age have gotten married since she left, so I guess it was an obvious inquiry. But the question was like a small punch in the gut--a reminder that I don't really belong. I told her that I have no love life but I prefer it like this, and she said something about a man falling out of the sky and sweeping me off my feet one day. Sigh. I wish people would stop telling me this, but what can I do? There will never be a moment when I will feel comfortable telling acquaintances that I am asexual. It's just never going to happen.

So I struggle and don't really know what to do except to continue working on my "f**k you" attitude when it comes to people's opinions. Let them think what they want to think. I know that I have some good things about me. I just try to think about this when the sadness creeps in.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by button30

As many of you know from my previous threads I am struggling and fighting to accept my sexuality right now. To hetrosexual people this might not be such a big deal but to a gay person it means everything. It means hiding some of the most important parts of your life and living in shame.
I know quite a few of you are gay but even the ones who aren't still struggle with accepting some parts of ourselves, like the needy part of us, the grumpy part, the violent part we all have our issues and pieces we need to accept and either get rid of or embrace them.
Life is a constant struggle with something. I would like to be able to accept this part and move on to the next issue. Have any of you struggled with something and how did you cope?

(button30))

Is therapy helping at all? I am SO, SO sorry that our society has created such an environment where you feel like you need to hide and live in shame. I'm working on my attachment issue (needy) part in therapy and my T is very accepting of it. The most helpful thing for me is that he explains things to me and helps me understand. Maybe your T can do that? That you are a wonderful person as you are? My wish for you is that when you feel shame, that you just sit and notice it, but don't accept it to mean that you should be ashamed. My part that I used to want to kick out of the park is my attachment issue part (trying not to say neediness). But, I have begun the process of acceptance, and it feels so grounding and peaceful. Also, maybe find people who understand you and hang out with them. I wish you joy and happiness. I accept you for who you are. It's now time that you do . . .

Oh Auto, I know that feeling. It is like a punch in the stomach when someone asks me about me love life and I get so defensive and think they are mocking me, just because they are happily married with 2.5 kids.
It must be hard to be asexual and the struggles and loneliness that goes with it
I wish there was some witty one liner to deliver when someone asks the question everyone dreads...Are you seeing anyone now? **** you is pretty good though, it would definately get the point across anyway.

Originally Posted by Antimatter

(button30))

Is therapy helping at all? I am SO, SO sorry that our society has created such an environment where you feel like you need to hide and live in shame. I'm working on my attachment issue (needy) part in therapy and my T is very accepting of it. The most helpful thing for me is that he explains things to me and helps me understand. Maybe your T can do that? That you are a wonderful person as you are? My wish for you is that when you feel shame, that you just sit and notice it, but don't accept it to mean that you should be ashamed. My part that I used to want to kick out of the park is my attachment issue part (trying not to say neediness). But, I have begun the process of acceptance, and it feels so grounding and peaceful. Also, maybe find people who understand you and hang out with them. I wish you joy and happiness. I accept you for who you are. It's now time that you do . . .

Antimatter, therapy is not helping as I am not in therapy at the moment, I am still waiting to hear from T about the insurance forms. Therapy never really helped with this, I don't know why. I hat that society is so unaccepting of anything that isn't the norm, not just gays but anything that doesn't fit in with the majority of folks. It sucks.
AS for the dreaded attachment sorry you are having a hard time with this and I suppose your sudden termination didn't really help matters. I hope your new t can work through this pain with you. IT hurts. THank you for accepting me It makes me feel better