[queenjem97]

I think I really need to see a therapist. All these things in my head have just been getting a lot worst and it's been really getting in the way of my life. Part of me doesn't really want help, but this unproductiveness is starting to get on my damn nerves. Everytime I shove these things in the back of my mind, they just come back, only worse.

A few people have come close to noticing, but over the years I've gotten really good at pretending that nothing was wrong. I've never told anyone anything. The last thing I need is their pity. It's just really exhausting pretending that everything is fine when it clearly isn't.

The problem is that I'm only fifteen and I don't know how my parents will react. They think that people are over-diagnosed with psychological conditions and that there really isn't any such thing as verbal abuse. They say that those people only need some "discipline" to snap them out of their delusions because most of them are only pretending for attention. Sometimes I hear their voices in the back of my head telling me that I'm only making this stuff up, but if it was fake then why do I feel like this? More importantly, how do I get help?

[Sila]

I've been there, wanting help but not knowing how to get it. Is there anyone at your school like a counselor? Starting there would help a lot I think. Write down what you're feeling, bring in a copy of this post you made if you think it'd help. They're there to guide you, if you're feeling depressed or anxious or anything they're there to help. They can help you find further help if needed, I'm sure. And because of confidentiality laws, they can't tell your parents unless you're a harm to yourself or others.

[queenjem97]

Thanks for the suggestion, but just the thought of getting help at school makes me feel really scared and anxious. What if my parents find out? What if other people at school find out? Then I'll just be another one of those "problem kids", and that's not what I want. I just want to fix everything and move on.

[adel34]

Hi Queen,
Welcome to PC!
I'm sorry you're going through so much, and am glad you're considering therapy. Often when we push uncomfortable feelings aside they get worse!
I'm sorry your parents are so insensitive. Are you on their insurance plan? If so you can get therapy, just call your insurance company, the number's on the card, and get a list of names and start calling and see what you think. You could just ask your parents to drive you there and back, they don't need to be anymore involved than that if they're so against the process. Or you could take public transportation if you'd rather go alone.
Also, it's possible to ask the school counselor for help, meet with them to discuss your issues, or maybe see the school therapist if you have one. I hope this helps.

[roads]

Hey there, queenjem97. I'm so glad you found PsychCentral and wrote here. It sounds like you could use some help--15 is containing an age when young people need their parents to listen.
Sila and adel both made what my 1st suggestion would be: See whether you can get hold of the counselor at your school. I like Sila's idea of bringing a copy of your post to get the conversation going. I hope your school system has a good counseling support team available to the students, so that you will be able to get quick and personal attention.
I do suggest, though, that down the road at some point they may want to attempt family counseling. Would this seem possible?
And I don't want to push, so ignore me if it's too personal ... but what do you mean by verbal abuse? What have you been going through, and has it been at home?
Please do get help. If your school doesn't come through, there are other avenues.
Come back, keep posting.
Roadie

[Miswimmy1]

Hey, that's tough. Im 15 too, and in therapy, so if u ever want someone to talk to, PM me I hope that you can talk to ur parents about it all

[queenjem97]

I remember replying to this, but the post seems to have disappeared... Well, anyways, I prefer not to ask for help at school because they only offer family counseling and I don't want to get my family involved. I don't want it to seem as if I'm making a huge deal out of nothing because it's not really my parents fault.

Parents taking out their frustrations on their children is pretty normal even in my extended family, so they don't really know what the norm is. I should be used to this, but sometimes it's starts to get to me. In turn I think I take it out on my younger sister and then I get in trouble with my mom. She also seems to think that I like to exaggerate or make things up for attention. I don't want to seem like those "problem kids" at my school, so I usually don't like telling people stuff.

My dad noticed I was acting strangely though, so maybe I'll bring up therapy next time he tries to talk to me. Our family seems to have really good insurance.