[rainbow8]

I have DBT in about 4 hours. The first thing we do after our mindfulness exercise is check in with our diary cards about what has been triggering during the week. My only trigger this week has been my session. In group, we speak directly to the group leader, and I trust her, but it's still going to be embarrassing. There are usually 5 others in the group, and I like them and feel they are all compassionate, but it's still going to be hard to talk about the touching. I can be brief, but I still have to talk about it. The diary card we fill out asks for the triggering situation, what our urge was, what we did, what DBT skills we used or didn't use, our level of distress, 1 to 10, at the time, and 1 hour later.

The others in group rarely talk about their Ts. I have already, but not all of the time. A couple of weeks ago one group member asked if it was okay to talk about something "in here", and the leader said "You can talk about anything in here." So, I suppose I will do it. It will be about what skills I could use, not about my therapy. I already think radical acceptance is important. It is what it is. For those who took DBT, did you talk about your therapy ever?

[Anne2.0]

I haven't done DBT but I have done group therapy and a long term self help group, and I and everyone else at some point in time talked about our T's, the relationship, or something that happened in T. So to me, it seems really normal to talk about therapy, T, and I think you would get a lot out of talking about this in a group and seeing that the world doesn't tilt any further on its axis as a result.

[Sannah]

Go for it.

Seems acceptable...good luck

[granite1]

if this is what was triggering for you i say talk about it. this is the place you are going to learn the skills you need .it wont work if they don't know you

Sounds like you already know the answer to this question.

[taylor43]

I would talk about it, if it is going to help you deal with it.Your dbt t group might give you pratical advice to help you.

[rainbow8]

Thanks, Yeah, I don't have anything else for this week. We also have homework about pros and cons of our target behavior, and that's about T too. I've just got to stop judging myself about where I am. I know I'm moving forward, in my own way. I can FEEL it though it may not look like it to others.

[rainbow8]

There were only 3 of us in the group today. I was still embarrassed to talk about my T-session, but I did. The leader said that was the main problem I need help with, which made me more . She also mentioned somatic experiencing before I did, which surprised me. Apparently, my T told her that's what she wants to use with me when they talked on the phone.

Then, for the first time, I was triggered in the group! I did the homework wrong. I wrote that my target behavior was about T and not making her so important, and to be able to quit. She said I should use "ruminating about therapy" as my target that I'm trying to diminish. She said I need T now. It seems like the DBT pros and cons to reduce target behavior are more general for everyone. Mine were specific about my life if I weren't in therapy. I guess I felt invalidated.

I felt criticized and after that I tuned out somewhat. The leader still called on me but I was getting that sinking feeling. She asked if I was triggered and I said "I did the homework wrong". She told me not to worry about it and she was sorry I was triggered. I think it bothered me that I couldn't use MY target behavior. Actually, obsessing (leader likes the term ruminating better) was on my list too, but I thought "accepting the T-relationship" and "not making T my whole life", and "being able to quit therapy one day," were more important. I still don't understand the homework, but here I am doing what I do, ruminating about it!

It doesn't help that I think I'm catching a cold and didn't get enough sleep last night. It's the first time I don't feel really good after the group. I'll write my feelings up on my diary card. I really think I reacted this way because my eyes hurt and I'm starting to get sick. My H is sick, and so is my grandson.

This is a stupid post. Oh, well.

[unaluna]

yay, somebody else who can't do a simple homework assignment! didn't I warn you they were redonkulous? I just had to figure I was gonna do them wrong all the time, but at least I did it. but they NEVER liked MY wording. YOU DID FINE! they suck.

It's okay to make an error Rainbow. That isn't a comment on your worth as a person; you need to remember that. You are learning new skills and you WILL have to do it for awhile before you really "get it" completely and internalize it. That is completely normal for learning new skills. You don't need to feel shame for little mistakes like that. She is just reteaching the concept with you. It will get easier as you practice.

[Bill3]

I don't consider what you said to be a mistake. I think that T could have reframed it slightly without being invalidating. Something like this: My behavioral goal is to reduce my excessive rumination about T. This will support my goal of eventually ending therapy. What do you think of that?

[adel34]

Hi Rainbow,
Sorry you were triggered in DBT. I would feel bad too if the therapist told me in front of everyone that I did the homework wrong!
But like everyone says I guess you'll get better as you practice. I hope you feel better and don't get a cold!
As a side note, they do have DBT at my day program, thursdays at 11 in fact!
But I'm not in it this cycle (new cycle starts in Feb.) because it's full. There's the leader, and all the clients, I don't know how many there are. But also all the interns, I think there are six of them, who are the "buddies" paired with each client. I guess they have to meet with their "dbt buddy" in addition to being in the group.
Anyway, I hope things keep getting better for you.

Originally Posted by adel34

Hi Rainbow,
Sorry you were triggered in DBT. I would feel bad too if the therapist told me in front of everyone that I did the homework wrong!

But knowing Rainbow, even if this had been talked about privately, she would have had the same reaction. Rainbow, you have a very low tolerance of being able to accept criticism, no matter how constructive it is. For you, that always turns into shame. Something to work on in DBT I'd say.