[2or3things]

Hi guys--

Today my T used a term to describe some of my difficulties for the first time...she called it "emotional anorexia." She talked about what she sees in me that suggests that's a problem I struggle with. I have some basic idea of what it means, and I've started doing a little research to learn more.

Anyway, I'm just wondering...has anyone else's T described your behavior/situation as emotionally anorexic? If so, can you share a bit about what it's meant for you, how it manifests itself, what you do to work on it, etc.?

Thanks for any info you can provide!

[ECHOES]

I've never heard that term, so don't know what your T means by that term, but it is something good to have to talk more about. It sounds like that would be an interesting session or three.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I've never heard of it either. I'm interested, though. Let me know what you find, I'm always interested in psychology things.

[2or3things]

So far the quickest description I've found is here: http://www.artofredirection.com/Emotional-Anorexia.html

Basically, I guess, it's an extensive (maybe even obsessive) avoidance of emotional intimacy and/or situations that might force one to be emotionally intimate. Though it's not the same, it's similar to anorexia nervosa (AN) in that folks with AN restrict their consumption of food/nutrition, while someone who's emotionally anorexic restricts taking in emotional nurturance, etc.

I don't know. Maybe it's just a convenient metaphor/label for something lots of people experience. I'm just sort of curious since my T mentioned it. And I have some pretty specific patterns around it, so it's definitely something that's causing me issues that I need to work on.

Thanks for your replies, guys. Anyone else?

[ArthurDent]

Originally Posted by 2or3things

Thanks for your replies, guys. Anyone else?

I think the food example is a good one...but why not ask your T? She can explain the term and also the context she used it in

[pbutton]

I've been reading a lot about it & can definitely relate to what I'm seeing, but I have nothing to add to the discussion.

[2or3things]

Originally Posted by ArthurDent

...why not ask your T? She can explain the term and also the context she used it in

Thanks. I'm pretty clear on the context, and I definitely plan to talk more with T about it. I'm just wondering if anyone here has any experience with it. (I have a tendency to want to really research things and get an intellectual understanding of them...probably because I feel like I'd rather do that than feel them. Ugh!)

Anyway, thanks again!

[2or3things]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I've been reading a lot about it & can definitely relate to what I'm seeing, but I have nothing to add to the discussion.

Thanks Pbutton. Any chance you'd be willing to share what you've been reading, either here or in a PM?

I hope what you're learning about it has been helpful for you.

[ECHOES]

Hmmm.. AN is about control, about controlling one thing because there is another thing (fears) that can't be controlled.

I think many of us here on a site like PC have emotional intimacy issues. I know I do.
There is a lot to it. Many layers to explore. Like a grid or a matrix, one thing affects another and as you work on "anything and everything" in therapy, the effect reverberates and healing happens over many areas.

When I began therapy, I read voraciously on all things I thought I needed to know. It was a defense and a distraction, and an effort to control the therapy (versus choosing the direction of the session). After about a year, I stopped reading and stopped trying to know something before I knew it. It was later that I realized the reading and wanting to have an intellectual understanding was also... ready?... an effor to avoid the emotional intimacy of therapy!

Originally Posted by ECHOES

... When I began therapy, I read voraciously on all things I thought I needed to know. It was a defense and a distraction, and an effort to control the therapy (versus choosing the direction of the session). After about a year, I stopped reading and stopped trying to know something before I knew it. It was later that I realized the reading and wanting to have an intellectual understanding was also... ready?... an effort to avoid the emotional intimacy of therapy!

This sounds like me! Definite control issues. Emotional intimacy is scary.