[BlessedRhiannon]

Today's session with T just felt weird!!! I felt really distant from her and it felt like it had been more than 2 weeks since we'd last met. I told T this, and she said it did feel like it had been longer, but she felt our connection was just as strong as ever, from her side. I still feel distant from her. The distance was starting to fade, but now it's back.

At the end of session, we'd gone over time, and my phone beeped a reminder at me for a call that I had, and her phone range. It suddenly felt to me like I HAD TO get out of her office. T was trying to get me to slow down by confirming our next appointment and walking me to the door, however, as soon as the door was open, I practically bolted to the car. It wasn't until I was sitting in my car that I realized what had happened. I just felt such an overwhelming need to get out of her office, right then! I felt like I was intruding on her time and on her next client's time. T did not give me that impression at all, and if her phone hadn't rung, and mine hadn't beeped a reminder, she probably would have wrapped up the session very nicely, like she always does. I didn't give her the chance. I just ran. I haven't felt like that in quite a while.

I'm almost wondering if after the holidays, maybe I should go back to every week for a while, and see if that helps, or maybe schedule a brief call with her on our off week. I just felt like I was in the room with a stranger...I even tried to hide my tears and apologize for them, which I haven't done in quite a while.

[healed84]

I think that sometimes wr have off sessions and you just can't put your finger on it. Try and see how it goes the next session. Just could be a one time deal.

[pbutton]

That sounds really rough. I think that having a lot of time between sessions does make it harder to keep the connection.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the support. It's possible this was just an off session, but I think I need to maintain more contact with T as well. I'm going to talk to her about it. I'm more disturbed by the fact that I felt the need to bolt at the end of the session. That hasn't happened in quite a while, and is usually a fear/anxiety response.