So I have posted about this before..T tells me everything about her private life. Last session she even told me she had fish for her lunchand talks about her children a lot. Well today she kept calling me her daughters name. It didn't bother me at first but after about ten times it did bother me. She apologise and said she didst know why. We look nothing a like. We then discussed my aches and pains and I showed t my bruises she was horrified abduction told me her friend who had leukemia used to come out in bruises and I sat there and went ok this is strange. I don't know what to make of therapy or her anymore...maybe it is not helping me anymore. Do you think this is weird for a t?

[TheWell]

Yes. A therapist shouldn't make it about her. Self-Disclosure should be rare and only if it would be very helpful. It sounds like your therapist is using you!

[Nightlight]

Mine tells me a lot about herself, but only when she thinks it will be helpful for me. I've really needed the relationship and she has given me that. It sounds like your T is telling you stuff to an unhelpful level.

Also...I never usually bruise and every small knock and I'm suddenly turning purple and green, sometimes instantly.

Originally Posted by Nightlight

Mine tells me a lot about herself, but only when she thinks it will be helpful for me. I've really needed the relationship and she has given me that. It sounds like your T is telling you stuff to an unhelpful level.

Also...I never usually bruise and every small knock and I'm suddenly turning purple and green, sometimes instantly.

I don't think its intentional on her part but her self disclosure is helpful.There is no point to most of her stories. Sorry to hear about the bruises nightlight ...wonder why now they are going green.

Originally Posted by TheWell

Yes. A therapist shouldn't make it about her. Self-Disclosure should be rare and only if it would be very helpful. It sounds like your therapist is using you!

Using me, for what?

[autotelica]

Originally Posted by button30

Using me, for what?

A captive audience. Some people like to be the center of attention.

Self-disclosure can serve a purpose. But there's self-disclosure and then there's talking too dayum much. It sounds like your therapist is the latter.

[stopdog]

I would think the question is whether you are finding a therapeutic use for her disclosure or not.

button do you enjoy the familiarity? If so the then let it lay as I believe you hated the blank slate , if I remember correctly

[QuietCat]

My first T was very talky too. It was okay one level, because she would tell me things about herself that made me realize she knew how I felt because she'd been through things I was worrying about. But sometimes I would sort of sit there and wonder why I was paying her to tell me her life story. And I would never have had the nerve to tell her to stop talking so much about herself.

[autotelica]

Mine talks about herself a lot too, often trying to "one-up" me on pain and suffering. I have never said anything about this nasty habit of hers to her. But one day I will and it won't be pretty!

[feralkittymom]

It sounds extreme to me. And calling you by the wrong name over and over? I would find that incredibly invalidating, and it would probably make me confront her.

[Victoria'smom]

I'd find your T strange but I would probably asked her "who am I?" the first time she said the wrong name. I fell this " told me her friend who had leukemia used to come out in bruises " was unprofessional and potentially triggering depending on the client.

I know very little about my T. I just learned that she has two teenage boys. I've been with her for 1.5 years. That said she still shows her personality.

[retro_chic]

Perhaps your T is experiencing some sort of counter-transference? Like maybe something about you and your personality reminds her of her daughter which could be why she keeps calling you the wrong name and being overly concerned about you/your health. Whatever her problem is though, it shouldn't be affecting your treatment. Perhaps you could discuss it with her?

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would think the question is whether you are finding a therapeutic use for her disclosure or not.

I am learning a lot from her. I understand she is not the norm T and her methods are questionable but she is kind and caring and has my best intentions at heart.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would think the question is whether you are finding a therapeutic use for her disclosure or not.

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

button do you enjoy the familiarity? If so the then let it lay as I believe you hated the blank slate , if I remember correctly

I do hate the blank slate T and it is nice for her to be honest with me and show her true personality but I do know now why boundaries are so important and most Ts are so strict on boundaries. And if I didnt like this T I would no exactly why having poor boundaries and self disclosure actually harm clients. Lola you remember everything

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Perhaps your T is experiencing some sort of counter-transference? Like maybe something about you and your personality reminds her of her daughter which could be why she keeps calling you the wrong name and being overly concerned about you/your health. Whatever her problem is though, it shouldn't be affecting your treatment. Perhaps you could discuss it with her?

The luekemia comment did trigger me. I went home and worried about it for hours because the bruises just appear from no where.

I thought that maybe she was having some counter transference issues so I looked up her daughter on facebook and she looks nothing like me but the spitting image of T but maybe like you said Retro, maybe my personality is similiar to her.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by button30

The luekemia comment did trigger me. I went home and worried about it for hours because the bruises just appear from no where.

Yeah, I totally understand that. I have health anxiety issues (not severe but it comes up now and again) so if someone said I might have leukaemia I would freak out. Bruising easily can have many causes with leukaemia being only one of them. It is also very uncommon (especially in adults) so try not to worry too much! I am sure you are fine

[feralkittymom]

[quote=button30;2768830]The luekemia comment did trigger me. I went home and worried about it for hours because the bruises just appear from no where. quote]

A bit off topic, but any supplements that work as blood thinners can cause bruising: fish oils, Vitamin E, Ginko Biloba, for instance. Also higher or regular doses of NSAIDS. Made any changes lately?

I never thought of that but I haven't started taking a.thing new;-)