[Sunne]

When your therapist is super stressed and cannot hide the stress from you, does it bother you?
Do you feel bad for them? Does it interfere with your therapy?

For me, my T tells me when he is stressed because the minute I walk in the door I will know something is wrong. I'm really empathetic to other peoples emotions.. so he is honest and lets me know, rather than make me wonder what is going on or think I am causing it.

I find it upsets me. I want to take his stress away. I worry about his health and well being.

He is really stressed right now. I am giving him space, but the connection has seriously been thrown for a bit of a loop.

Tis the season... ?

[BashfulBear]

It does really affect me when T's not completely focused and present in the room with me. I often struggle to connect as it is, and her not 'being there' obviously doesn't help that matter... in fact, it makes it practically impossible.

I also feel sad when my T is stressed, ill, etc. but I try to think of it as a positive sign - it means we've formed a good, caring bond and the relationship is there.

[CantExplain]

The most my T has ever admitted to is "tired".

[stopdog]

I am not certain the one I see has been stressed. I probably would not notice and if I did notice would probably just reschedule and leave. If she was all that stressed I would expect her to cancel instead of having us go through it. I sort of expect the therapist to take care of the things that stress them out on their own time.

Even when I've been aware that my T was going through a stressful event such as his father's death, etc., I've never felt like his stress "came through" in any way during my sessions. He is extremely good at compartmentalizing. He keeps home, home, and work, work. He is able to shift between clients without stress from one bleeding over into another client's session. We've talked about how he does that; he finds it one of the most important skills of a therapist if they hope to not get burned out in their work or their home life.

It is something I've learned to do with work also because I have to be able to be "on" in the classroom and can't let my personal life interfere with my time with my students. They need and deserve me as close to 100% as possible, so I've learned how to leave that personal baggage at home as much as possible. In fact, it is when I lose the ability to do that that I realize my depression is getting out of hand.

[retro_chic]

None of my T's have ever admitted to being "stressed" but if they did it would make me feel guilty for burdening them with my problems. My first T complained of being tired once when she was pregnant I felt bad for her. I also remember her complaining of the weight she had put on during the pregnancy and I kept thinking "she must think I'm fat too". Totally irrational I know. I think it is best if Ts keep these things to themselves!

9yrs I've been with this T and she has never brought her stuff into our space. Even when she was having major works done on her home (she wks privately from home) she remained her 'zen' quality. She has always been a container for my emotions never the other way around

My t has been through a lot in the past two years and she wears her emotions on her sleeve so i can always tell whats up with her. She always gives me a general idea of whats going on, even if its just "family stuff" i do worry about her. She knows that.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by Sunne

When your therapist is super stressed and cannot hide the stress from you, does it bother you?
Do you feel bad for them? Does it interfere with your therapy?

For me, my T tells me when he is stressed because the minute I walk in the door I will know something is wrong. I'm really empathetic to other peoples emotions.. so he is honest and lets me know, rather than make me wonder what is going on or think I am causing it.

I find it upsets me. I want to take his stress away. I worry about his health and well being.

He is really stressed right now. I am giving him space, but the connection has seriously been thrown for a bit of a loop.

Tis the season... ?

Oh my therapist definitely brings his stuff into the room. In fact, we had a rather upsetting two session blow out where I dealt with his stuff.

It upset me for several reasons. First, "hey dude! This is my time" Second, as a human being it upsets me to see another human in distress - for whatever reason and whomever that person may be. The conflict between those two states of thoughts was profound.

To this day I think it both fair and unfair that he brought that to my door.

BUT, i'm glad he did. It catalyzed a lot of honesty between us.

It's one of those situations where, even though the initial outcome was negative, the final disposition turned out okay.

He has re-assumed his role of therapist - something I happily gave back to him.

I have a right to that.

I think it would be very unprofessional of a therapist to share their stresses with clients, I know here in the UK that therapists can get into serious trouble for it at the end of the day you're paying them for therapy.

[lbdrox]

My therapist(s) have never really shared any of their issues with me. I wouldn't let them anyway! I'm paying for therapy, so I need to get the most that I can out of it. They have told me random stuff about kids or things like that once in a while though. I feel that if they were so stressed, they should speak to their own therapist!