[WePow]

I have been here reading but just unable to post. I miss you all.

My dog of 15 years is now gone. Work fired several of my best friends from when I first started. I am very sick but docs have no clue. I had melanoma removed. wOrk is changing every tool I used. I had a massive second burnout and short term disability. I am fighting each day to just stay employed. I am still in therapy but after five years I honestly wonder if with all this new terror I can make it.

This is my nightmare from last night. I had to send it to my T today

nightmare last night severe
At work and they moved me to a room by myself. It was dark and just junk stuff was in the room. I kept trying to set up my desk but they gave me wrong stuff. I had a monitor smaller than an iPhone. I was trying to get the bosses to listen to me but they would not. I went to find my own monitor but there was no one left in the building who could help me. I was terrified and felt so alone and isolated. I kept trying to go back to the team area where they were all working but there was no room for me. Then I got up and ran up the stairs and was looking over a deep ocean that is always in that nightmare and I was going to jump in to die but I looked down and there were sharks and a big octopus and I started crying. Some strange lady that looked like it may have been Mick was there asking me what was wrong. I told her I was hurt too much and too deeply and could not stand the pain of a broken heart any longer. She asked me why I did not jump. I told her that I was too afraid of even that. That I was trapped there on the ledge. Then I woke up.

.......

I am not sure at all what I need. I am just becoming very afraid therapy can't help at this point.

Anyone reading this been to this point and made it through? If so... how????

Many times. Than its like I'm pulled from the water, and I can taste the air again.

[rainbow8]

I am so sorry, WePow. We go back a long way, and I miss you too. All I can suggest is to try to live in the present and do some little thing that makes you happy each day. Do you still write? I haven't been in the place you describe but please don't give up! I wouldn't stop therapy if I were you. If you're seeing the same T, he's good!

[BonnieJean]

((WePow)) there is so much going on and happening in your life. Such big stressors. I haven't been to the exact place but have been thru several crisis periods. I thought therapy could not help but in the long run I can see that it did.

[BonnieJean]

Still thinking about you WePow.