[southpole]

So today I was catching the bus into session when the office of T called me to say she was running 15 mins late. I responded, how funny, I am too! Then thought, knowing she lives near me, OMG, I bet she is on the same bus ..

She was!!!

So I pretended like I hadn't seen her and I assumed she pretended the same thing. I took a seat at the back of the bus and read my book. She got off the bus two stops early, then I got off one stop later and walked the back way to the office so we wouldn't run into each other. AWKWARD.

I haven't talked about it but am worried that it will happen again. I my T and love to see her but seeing her outside her office and IRL kinda freaks me out. I worry that this might happen again because we live near each other and think maybe we should talk about what we would do in such a situation (I guess I'd say "hello" and keep on walking,,, but at that time ignoring her seemed the best option) ... what do you think??? Why is it that thinking that T has a life outside her office so god**n weird?! It's .like ... she has all my secrets, how can she be walking around with them??

[Willowleaf]

Mine once got off a train with my son and it looked like they were together. I was very freaked out. It is wierd. Sounds like it could happen again so might be worth mentioning

[pbutton]

T and I talked about this yesterday. He said he's never sure what to do. The adult clients never know what to do. His child clients are the only ones comfortable with it - they usually start madly waving and saying "Hi Dr. T!!"

[Crashed Again]

I Seen my T at my primary care doc one morning. I just said hi and aren't you running late? She laughed and said it was excused, and I said I would see her in a couple of hours. Know big deal to me, It was just two people who knew each other saying hi. No bussness was discussed as this was a quick social meeting and greeting. I personaly don't see anything wrong with this as we don't or didn't go out of our way to meet. Things just happen and if you like your T and happen to see them on the street say hi, hows it going and leave it at that. Bussness is for the office not the street.

[content30]

I can see how that would be odd. I’ve seen my T in public, but I wasn’t travelling in a confined space with her. I saw her in passing two times. Once, she was alone, and I said hello and had about 10 seconds of small talk with her. Another time, she was with a friend. So, I just smiled and waved, and she smiled and winked at me. If I saw her on a bus (which neither of us ride…it’s not commonly used where I live and very inconvenient), then I might actually sit near her and talk to her, but I’m kind of weird like that, lol! I think a lot of people would do just what you did. I completely get how it could be awkward. I think that many, many people feel that way because my T talked to me about what would happen if I saw her in public and asked me how I felt about it approximately three times, and at those times, I hadn’t yet encountered her in public. She told me that a lot of people are bothered by it and that she would not acknowledge me unless I acknowledged her. I told her every time that me seeing her in public was absolutely the least of my worries, and that I would think it was fun if I ran into her in public. I think she was doubtful until I did see her those two times. Now, she never mentions it. I think she realized that it is not a concern for me. The last time I saw her I was going for a walk on my lunch break, which I had told her I was trying to exercise more. When I saw her at my next appointment, I jokingly said, “T, if I told you that I was walking during my lunch break, would you believe me?” She said, “NOOOO, I would never believe that!”—very sarcastically, lol! She’s a trip….

I think it would be great to bring it up with her, just in case it happens again. I’m certain that she is used to handling this and has talked about it many, many times with clients….

[stopdog]

If I recognized the woman out of context, i would just ignore her.

Oh stopdog! What does the woman have to do to win you over?

I would probably be a client of the madly waving 'Hi T!!' variety..

[stopdog]

I find it interesting that the one therapist reports children will call out to him. I hated seeing teachers out as a kid too. I always hoped they did not recognize me.

[TheRealFDeal]

One of my T's actually brought up the subject in the beginning of the relationship. I thought it was a good idea to agree on what we should do, so I wouldn't have to feel bad if I saw her but didn't want to talk to her. What if you are with people and don't want to explain who T is? But if you don't discuss it, I'm sure the default is that T would take your cue, so if you ignore T, they will ignore you and be OK with that.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by pbutton

T and I talked about this yesterday. He said he's never sure what to do. The adult clients never know what to do. His child clients are the only ones comfortable with it - they usually start madly waving and saying "Hi Dr. T!!"

ahhh, the innocence of childhood. sometimes it saddens me that all of that magic goes away

[archipelago]

Everyone in my little sea coast surf town takes a walk along the cliffs, including my therapist. I've seen him there several times. If he's alone, he stops and greets me. If with his wife, he politely acknowledges me and moves along.

But one time I was walking very vigorously and so was he. It must have been his lunch hour because I didn't expect to see him on the path at that hour. He had taken his shirt off and gotten a sweat up. I will never forget that I saw him as this kind of hippie free kid enjoying the sun and sea without any regard for anyone watching. He acted a little bit embarrassing in the sense that he took his shirt and covered his torso. But I actually loved it. Felt like it showed something about him that was so vital and invigorating. I have never really commented on it, but I do think about that encounter every once in a while as revealing something about him that I feel privileged to see.

I live in a small rural city and I've never seen my T except at the social group we both belong to. But I only go occasionally.

[Perna]

I told mine about a book sale a group I belonged to was having over a weekend and she showed up and I hid behind a table and asked a friend to report what she was doing

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I find it interesting that the one therapist reports children will call out to him. I hated seeing teachers out as a kid too. I always hoped they did not recognize me.

He does a lot of play therapy and sandtray stuff. Once I had the honor of hearing the little girl ahead of me tell her mom all about the game of dragons she played with Dr. T. I mentioned it to him at the start of my session and he said "Yeah! And her dragon ALWAYS WON! Not fair!" LOL I can imagine why they must think he is a super fun guy.

[Kendyll]

I saw my T at the gym once - hot and sweaty in tight little gym shorts...I was polite, but I couldn't stop checking him out.
We definitely had to talk about that one!

[anilam]

Met my T once walking on the street outside his office and said hi and walked away and once on a tram, he was reading his newspaper and didn't see me so I just ignored him and got off ASAP (yeah, there's just stg about the confided space...). Did tell him afterwards in the session though- couldn't keep the "secret" from him.
Anyway, my T told me that his policy is to wait and see- if the client acknowledges him or not and act accordingly.
BTW absolutely get the how-can-he-be walking-around-with-my-secrets

My t and i used to walk/ drive together to/ home from my sessions. It wasnt weird at all. Shes must a person. I cant wait til she comes back home. We used to go for lunch/ out for ice cream or on walks. I miss that.

[stopdog]

Do others believe the therapist would recognize you out of the office? I ask because I really do not believe the therapist would know who I was out of context. I don't think she would see me and think "oh, there is x who has trouble with y" - even if she by some off chance did recognize me, I doubt she would recall anything about me specifically.

ETA -I don't recognize most colleagues out of context, or students or clients. Sometimes a student will recognize me and it is like Oh **** because even when I can place them I can't remember their names.

[tooski]

I'm sure my T would recognize me "out of context" just like I would most definitely recognize him. We're people and we have a relationship. He's not just a thing, and neither am I. He often studies me intently during session, attuning and reading my nonverbal expressions. I do the same with him. You bet we'd recognize each other out of session!!

But 2 years ago I might not have been able to say this ......

My T definitely did as he was not aware that i would be in this group and when he saw me (he was chasing his toddler daughter up an aisle)he behaved strangely and tried to cover his face andscuttled away. In the next session we had the "what to do in social situations" talk with boundaries etc. he said he was concerned that I wouldn't want people to know I was seeing a psychologist. But how would these people know what relationship I had with him? I have distinct feeling he doesn't want me to see him do something drunk for example. I told him 20 years ago I shared a bong with my psychologist and had a 20 minute conversation before i realised who it was. Didn't really change the T relationship.

[southpole]

Thanks so much for all of the responses! I loved reading about everyone's run ins Especially the gym shorts and the bong. Oh and having to hide behind a table

It's such a strange thing to have to negotiate. I might bring it up with her after all ... I'd actually like to talk to her about it ... The confined space thing WAS really weird, like we were trapped together in this tiny room whilst trying to pretend the other person was not there. I do wonder whether we both made the executive decision to ignore each other or if she really didn't see me (or believed that I didn't see her). Hmm.

I would have loved to sit down with her and had a chat but I have a feeling it would go something like this:

"Hi T, how are you?"

"I'm well thanks southpole, but that's all I will tell you because I keep verrrry strict boundaries. How are you?"

"I'm pretty good. I'll tell you more when we get to your office and you start to charge me to hear how I am. For now, let's sit here awkwardly and pretend like nothing happened."

Oh and I'd LOVE to have this sort of relationship with my T:

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

My t and i used to walk/ drive together to/ home from my sessions. It wasnt weird at all. Shes must a person. I cant wait til she comes back home. We used to go for lunch/ out for ice cream or on walks. I miss that.