["Tilly may"]

i sought out a therapist because i needed support and someone to talk to. Its not working out that way. so far she has hypnotized me and performed neurolinguistic programming. I just wanted a shoulder to cry on really, but when i tried to email her this week one day when i felt very needy, she ignored my letter.

But what is her task anyway? Im not sure.

Not sure i want to go back.
Cyn

[CantExplain]

I think everyone will have an opinion on this and I don't suppose any two opinions will be the same!

"Support and someone to talk to" is a reasonable expectation, but not the whole story.

Have youtalked to your t about what you need?
Maybe this particalar t's style isnt for you...maye you could see someone else who has a different approach.

[anilam]

Yeah, definitely talk to her, learn about her approach and decide whether this is the right T for you- she can recommend another T/ some different approach- one more suitable for you.
However, I don't think the sole fction of a T is to be 'a shoulder to cry on'- many of your friends can fulfill that fction. It won't help you in the long run- there needs to be some work involved for you to evolve/change. Therapy can be really hard at times but it's so much worth the price.

[ECHOES]

It sounds like this isn't what you were looking for?

When I began this round of therapy, I started with a therapist who was okay. She did some relaxation techniques with me and that was okay, but the the whole appointment was spent on that. After a few weeks I asked her if we were going to do the same relaxation technique each time (same script that she used) because it didn't leave time to talk. That was when she announced that 'this will become hypnotherapy, ECHOES'. Nice to let me know!
That wasn't what I wanted. I felt like it was something being 'done to me', like dropping my car off for an oil change. Anyway, I sought out a depth therapist and that was just what I wanted.

So, think about what you want and where to get it. This therapist may or may not be where you can get what you are looking for.

[lbdrox]

lol ECHOES! I feel like I had the same experience with my 2nd T. Every single time: "Go back into your childhood. What comes up? Now feel the feeling that you might have felt then, but feel it now!!!" Weird.

Tilly may, if this isn't the right kind of therapy for you, you might want to explore other options. Maybe you can research the type of therapy you think you need and try to find a therapist who does that. Also, each T has a different approach, so even if they say they do Cbt or Ifs, it does vary somewhat.

Good luck!

[refika]

Before I found my current T, I went through at least 3 different therapists and 2 support groups. They left me with such bad experiences, it was 20 years before I was able to even consider therapy, let alone go to one

If something really doesn't feel right with your T, definitely address it then consider whether they are the right fit for you. It sounds like their methods and areas of specialization may not be what you need. As others have mentioned, a T will not only be a shoulder to cry on, though it may feel that way at times, and I think they DO fill that need sometimes. A T that is a good fit for you will give you insight to why you are crying or upset, how to address and resolve the issues in your life, and help you develop the strength and tools to resolve the issues on your own.

I would recommend addressing the issues with your T, find out her policy on emails, her treatment methods, her philosophy on psychotherapy. You may find that her specialization is not what you need.

Good luck!

[CantExplain]

One valuable service a T could provide is to ask the right questions.

Also, a T could teach skills.

PS:

I expected this thread to fill up fast as everyone added her own wishlist. I'm surprised that isn't happening.

I saw 2 other t's before finding my current t. They did NOT work out at all. They had very different styles than my current t. I was wiser this go-around in choosing a t. I researched a bunch of them online, and when I first called her for a phone consultation I asked a bunch of questions and she answered them all and over a year later I can say that she represented herself and her practice VERY well. I knew from that first phone call that she was the right t for me. Instant connection. Best of luck.

[sittingatwatersedge]

A T can catch you as you fall into your maladaptive thinking patterns, and call you on them.

A T can tell you (some of) the truth about yourself, or rather help you see truth about yourself, in such a gentle way that you might actually accept it, and not run screaming.
um... maybe.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

A T can catch you as you fall into your maladaptive thinking patterns, and call you on them.

A T can tell you (some of) the truth about yourself, or rather help you see truth about yourself, in such a gentle way that you might actually accept it, and not run screaming.
um... maybe.

Yup, these are good things for a T to do.

["Tilly may"]

thank you everyone for your suggestions and explanations.

[Syra]

I think the research shows that what makes therapy successful is the rapport between the client and therapist. And what makes for good rapport is support, positive regard, empathy and trust. Things like that. Some therapists do it more directively, some less, but always with a sense of good will and trust in the client to do their work.