[Alishia88]

I have noticed over time more often that my therapist interrupts me and I feel "cut off". As I come to talk about very emotional things, i feel I just want to finally "tell!" someone my whole story and have someone listen intently and give some reaction, but so, that I can go right on and don´t get thrown off track. My therapist likes to talk herself too, and gives a lot of advise and cuts right in. Sometimes it´s helpfull, but with this stuff, i´d like it a lot more if she could be calm and just WANT to listen and be interested.
When she keeps interrupting or ,with a question, changing the subject on to something else, I feel that what I have to say is trivial and she gets bored by it. I feel that just telling this to someone and with a -short- reaction by her have it had placed into the world and out of just my head, makes it more real.

I know people are going to say: well, just tell her that you don´t like it when she interrupts. But I feel like a student telling a teacher how to teach or a patient telling the doctor how to treat her....

[stopdog]

I believe students tell teachers how they learn and patients most certainly should tell doctors how to treat them.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I believe students tell teachers how they learn and patients most certainly should tell doctors how to treat them.

I agree. I've told my T that things he does are distracting. He's very responsive.

T's are on a journey too and are supposed to be learning as they go along- this means that we need to lead them along and tell them what we need, such as: "T, I just need for you to listen to me today, I have something important to tell you!"

I don't think your t or any t does it intentionally, it's just that they have a thought or a moment of inspiration that they need to say before it goes out of their head. My t always interrupts me and some times she will not let me speak because she is in the middle of something- it does feel like I haven't been heard or listened to and that my stuff is not important but I know that this is not the reason but it took me a long time to realise this.

Do you think you could tell your t how you feel? After all this is your therapy you are paying for.

[Anne2.0]

It has been my experience that my T's are very willing to make changes and adjustments in ways that will help me, and they appreciate the feedback. Part of your job as the client is to let them know what they can do to help you better. This doesn't have to be a big confrontation, and it might be easiest to start the session with it rather than leave it for when it's happening. Sometimes it is easier to talk about something in the abstract rather than leave it to happen again, and then mention it.

You could start out your session by saying "hey, T, sometimes I feel like I don't get a chance to finish my sentence or my thought before you respond, and I feel cut off."

In some cultures (like my loud Jewish one), interrupting is considered the norm and is considered a compliment to the speaker, that they have triggered an idea within you so profound that you must say it right away.

Actually, that is a bit of an overstatement, but it just means that some people don't intend to interrupt, their sense of this is just different than yours. The point is that you feel interrupted, and it is interfering with what you want out of therapy, and your T won't know unless you actually say something.

I have the opposite reaction in T-- my T leaves silences too open and it gives me anxious fits. So I said, don't leave so much silence after I say something (I'd like him to interrupt, basically). Cool thing is, he got it and now there's the perfect amount of time between me finishing my sentence and him talking back with me. I also think that sometimes I'm a little more tolerant of silences and will talk about what's in my head a little more, and that seems like a good thing too.

[TheRealFDeal]

I have actually raised my hand in a "stop" gesture letting my T know that I wasn't finished with my thought and didn't want him responding just yet.

A lot of our sessions are very conversational and we interrupt each other all the time. I think I interrupt her more than she does me though. I guess it sorta comes with time and the building of the relationship, I have been known to say to t "shut up!" or "EXPLAIN yourself!" when need be.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Alishia88

I have noticed over time more often that my therapist interrupts me and I feel "cut off".

I called out my T on something like this.

Me: When you were angry with me...
T: I wasn't angry with you.

In a later session:

Me: When you told me you weren't angry with me, you cut me off, and we never got to explore how I felt.
T: You are right. I'm sorry. Point it out if I ever do that again.

[feralkittymom]

I think I see this a bit differently than others might.

I think this is a significant problem of your T's and you can either try to address it, and maybe your T can grow through it; or you can try to address it, and maybe your T can't grow through it, and you'll need a new T.

This doesn't feel to me like a conversational style or habit. It feels deeper and more significant.

A lot of time and attention is paid in T training to listening, both as behavior and as theory. If your T's problem is only a behavioral issue, perhaps it can be changed if you bring it to her attention.

But I suspect it goes far deeper than this because you say she interrupts you when you are talking about highly emotional stuff. Generally the more highly emotional the content, the more Ts actively listen and not interrupt the flow. So why is she interrupting you? What is prompting her to behave in such an uncommon way?

I suspect something in the content or manner of your communication is triggering your T in a way that is not therapeutic for you.