[BrokenNBeautiful]

I understand that some pdocs still give talk therapy.

But I have a weird feeling about my new pdoc.

I cannot explain it and he has not done anything illegal or anything to constitute abuse.

But I have a weird feeling about him.

He is acting too friendly.

He offered talk therapy 2 weeks ago and under Ani (mentor's) counsel, I cancelled the appt today.

If you have a weird feeling about someone and can't even discuss it with them, should you stop going?

I have posted two other threads you are welcome to read, under "Borderline Personality Disorder; 'wise mind or paranoia'" and under "Survivors of Abuse; 'prelude to abuse?'" about this dilemma.

For now, the appt is cancelled.

Should I keep seeing him?

My feelings tell me I shouldn't. But I do overreact.

thanks,

Carol

[CantExplain]

In a perfect world, you would talk to Pdoc about your uncomfortable feelings and you would both learn from that.

But you've only got so much time and energy and you have to use it as you feel best.

I suppose, Broken, that it depends on what your underlying issues are. I know that I tend to trust my instincts about people, because I had horrible experiences previously just ignoring that little voice in my head when I first meet someone. HOWEVER, I know that I tend to be really avoidant about people getting to close too me. So when I have known someone for a while, and THEN get that feeling, it is usually because I am feeling any sort of emotional intimacy, connection, or attachment to the other person, and want to get away from them before it gets any worse. My closest relationships even now are with people who kind of "snuck up on me" emotionally. I get closer to them without really noticing it's happening and then suddenly, I realize that I love them or adore them and it's just too late for me to extricate myself without it being hugely painful.

Only you can really say which or whether either of those issues apply to your current situation.

[anilam]

I wouldn't. It may well be that you're overreacting (nobody here can be a judge of that) but therapy is difficult, you need to be ready to open yourself up to a 'stranger', feel safe in that RS.. that all can't be done without some basic trust to start with.
If there's this strong suspicion from the beginning I really can't see a way how this could work. If for some reason you need this T (i.e. can't pick another one) try to talk to him about it to clear the air.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by anilam

I wouldn't. It may well be that you're overreacting (nobody here can be a judge of that) but therapy is difficult, you need to be ready to open yourself up to a 'stranger', feel safe in that RS.. that all can't be done without some basic trust to start with.
If there's this strong suspicion from the beginning I really can't see a way how this could work. If for some reason you need this T (i.e. can't pick another one) try to talk to him about it to clear the air.

I don't feel I can talk to him at all about this.

I hope I can find someone else.

Carol

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I suppose, Broken, that it depends on what your underlying issues are. I know that I tend to trust my instincts about people, because I had horrible experiences previously just ignoring that little voice in my head when I first meet someone. HOWEVER, I know that I tend to be really avoidant about people getting to close too me. So when I have known someone for a while, and THEN get that feeling, it is usually because I am feeling any sort of emotional intimacy, connection, or attachment to the other person, and want to get away from them before it gets any worse. My closest relationships even now are with people who kind of "snuck up on me" emotionally. I get closer to them without really noticing it's happening and then suddenly, I realize that I love them or adore them and it's just too late for me to extricate myself without it being hugely painful.

Only you can really say which or whether either of those issues apply to your current situation.

I have examined the intimacy thing.

I think it's more about my intuition. I don't think this is a fear thing. I walked thru some fear yesterday in a different situation and it was different.

And I don't think I can be alone in a room with this person anymore. It's hard enough anyway, but with this added weird feeling, no more way. I am going elsewhere. I cancelled the appt.

Carol

Go with your gut unless this is a pattern. If you do proceed just be aware.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Go with your gut unless this is a pattern. If you do proceed just be aware.

I have run away from therapists, but I think I am learning the difference between running scared and honoring my safety. There is a fine line. I was aware that my feeling was not changing. Usually when I ran before, it was just because I did not like something they said. This time, it's his general demeanor. And it's strange. In fact, it's very much like when I was abused.

thanks,

Carol