Help With Therapy Ending.

I don't know if this will work, but I have no one to talk to about this. I am very angry and upset. i had a misunderstanding with my therapist, now my ex-therapist. We went along okay, although it was my first therapist. Basicly I had a rough time with her for the second half of the year and I lost trust in her. I also felt like she didn't listen to me or she flat out lied to me (saying she'll do things when she wouldn't) I also have concerns about the way she treated me. She told me that overeating and panic attacks are what happend when people don't grieve, although I felt like that she was saying it was my fault for having anxiety. I know what people are going to say, get a new one, but I lost her because after not making appts with me, she got a new job and didn't even try to tell me. I just got a message from the receptionist saying that she got a new job and wasn't there anymore. Her last day was three days from that call. I feel so hurt and upset. It wasn't a good year for me and now this. I don't know how I will get over it and if I should get a new one. I thought about leaving anyway, but she beat me to it. Sorry it's so long. No one to talk to that understands this.

Hi BlankFace,

I'm sorry that your ending with your T has been such a struggle. It's so difficult to have a good working relationship and then to feel like that all falls apart, either over time, or quickly. And to have her not tell you that she was leaving - that just sounds cruel and unprofessional.

Working with another T might be a way to process what happened in this T relationship, though I can understand that that might not be the most appealing idea.

Feel free to come here to talk about it more. Folks here are pretty understanding.

Hey there,

So sorry your T did that to you. What an amateur!! Hope you find a proper T , There isnt a lack of professionals who want to help. Best of luck.

That T does sound very unprofessional. I think it's normal (and professional) when a T is not going to be your T anymore that you have a few sessions to process the termination. At least, I think that's how it's supposed to be. My T gave me five weeks notice that he was terminating me and it's still so painful. I feel like he set me back quite a bit, and to think I have to hire a new T just to process all the junk that happened with my old T makes me really angry. That's time I could be using for other issues.

Good luck finding a new T. I don't want to discourage you, but I have talked to several and met with a few, and I can't find one who is both a good fit and is willing to take me.

maybe she lost her job...

Still, this is a loss for you. If you had any kind of attachment to her, there will be some grieving to do for losing her (even if you wanted to end it first-it still feels 'done to you' the way it worked out.) If she was saying you already had some unresolved grief, I agree with the suggestions above that you seek out a new therapist so you can work thru new and old grief issues. You deserve a competent, caring t who listens to you and works with you.

It happened to me too (complete with the misunderstandings) and I found it really painful. One minute she was my therapist and we were talking to resolve things, successfully I thought, the next she "needed a break" (of unstated, undetermined time frame for unstated reasons, which extended to about a year and then I got a Dear John letter about how she was so sorry it didn't work out)

I did find another therapist and it's been a very good thing. But I can easily imagine how painful it is.

Thanks, guys. The receptionist actually told me she took a new position. I think if i left and never came she would never even notice me. lol. To me that's a sad thought.

It sounds like you have alot of unresolved issues with this T, the way you were terminated being one of them. I am sorry she chose to be cowardly. You deserve someone who cares and who you can trust.

Hey, I'm not sure if this has worked, i'm new to these things, but I just wanted to say thanks for listening. Basicly, I got a call from the receptionist saying that she just happened to notice i had an appt. the next week and she told me that my Therapist accepted a new position. that was why she left. But she didn't do anything other than put me on a waiting to get a new therapist and I never got to talk to my other therapist or anything.