Sorry. This didn't make any sense.

[stopdog]

I don't fully understand what you are saying, but good luck next week.

It might have made sense to me or someone else.

Probably not. I was pretty much babbling. LOL

Yeah but I speak crazy fluently.... LOL

We are here if you need us!

it was going back to that dream i had where i was talking to t and asked her to hold and i fell asleep and came back to the phone ten minutes after the session ended, and she was furious. when i talked to t about it she was thinking it wasn't about her at all, that maybe my 'inner therapist' was mad at me. i was thinking maybe she was right. that it was mad at me because i need HER and the inner therapist is not enough. And I was thinking also about why I keep talking about ending therapy and realized that it's because I know it's going to hurt so much when she's not in my life anymore at all, and I'd rather just go through the hurt now instead of having it looming out there in the future like some big dark cloud over my head all the time. Sigh. It's still a bunch of jumbled rambling. But I am going to talk to t about it next time.

And now, I am thinking, that I simply think too much!!

ok so you are saying that you are upset with you because you know that you need her and by allowing yourself to get close to her that someday it will hurt when you leave her. So you wanted to end it now as a preemptive strike. Hopefully though by the time you are ready to wrap up therapy , you will find that you don't need her as much as you once did. That would make it hurt less, more of a bittersweet sting? I think many of us focus on what we will lose when therapy is over and it causes us to guard ourselves when it comes to being vulnerable in therapy and prevents us from healing. We should focus more on the now. I mean no one lives their life thinking about death all the time, or why would we do anything? Over thinking is a therapy hazard.

Not only Lola the chronically incorrigible, but Lola the chronically wise! LOL Thank you. I don't generally have that kind of attitude, I mean I don't think for instance that I should leave my husband before he leaves me or stuff like that, it's just with this therapy thing, and now I wonder too if all of this doesn't have something to do with her moving away a few months ago. She asked me more than once if I needed to talk about feeling abandoned and maybe I should have.

Artemis the Over-Thinker is going to get ready for work now.