[3velniai]

Today is my 4 years in T anniversary. Well, with current T anyway. I probably wouldn't know it, but T brought it up last time so I looked up the exact day I first saw her. Four years and I'm still seeing her, and I still want to continue seeing her. Feel such a loser to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I'm just saying that about me. For a person who had nothing really bad happen in her life and current life being really good (no health problems, job I like, some friends, bf, a few hobbies, what else could you want?), I feel a loser for not being done with T. For both still wanting it and still feeling like I need it. Feel like there's something wrong with me because I want to continue therapy. Feel like my T wants me gone already, she was the one who brought it up. Feel like this whole thing is just some messed up **** that should be able to sort out. But I can't.

Sorry, I'm rambling here. I was wallowing in self pitty the whole weekend and thinking about all the stuff that went wrong in my life. And then I thought: am I making myself feel bad to prove I still have a reason to see T?

Maybe I should buy some tiny cake and one of those candles for little kids cakes, a number four, and just celebrate, because I was a mess when I went to see T for the first time, and now I'm a lot less of a mess. And this is a good thing.

[Nightlight]

A couple a weeks back I too had my four year anniversary with my T. Sadly it was at a bad time and T seemed neutral, if not very slightly negative when I mentioned it. She's since pointed out a bit harshly that I've never needed her less than I once did. So yep, I also feel like a bit of a failure for still struggling and needing the help as much as I do!

I too am a lot less of a mess (in some ways) than I was four years ago. If things are still going well in your therapy relationship, then I think you should value that for sure (and make it a more positive experience than my recent anniversary session was)!

[sittingatwatersedge]

((((((((((((((((( velnai )))))))))))))))

celebrate! Four years of courage, hard work & dedication.

Only those who stick with it long enough to see the gains can understand that the effort is worth it. count me as one who is happy for you today!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by 3velniai

Feel such a loser to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I'm just saying that about me. For a person who had nothing really bad happen in her life and current life being really good (no health problems, job I like, some friends, bf, a few hobbies, what else could you want?), I feel a loser for not being done with T.

I know the feeling. Even at the start of therapy, my life was in pretty good shape. It was just me that was screwed up.

It is shocking to discover that a good life doesn't make you happy.