dual relationships

Syra · Mar 22, 2013 at 09:21 AM

Has anyone had any experience being in a group that their therapist is also a member of? What was it like? Did it enhance things? or cause problems? both? no big deal?

krisakira · Mar 22, 2013 at 09:24 AM

Yeah I was in an eating disorders group where my T was one of the leaders. She thought it would not be a good idea, but I went ahead and did it anyway, and by the end she was grateful I shared my story with the group. I think it enhanced the therapy because I got to talk about something (ED) that I never talked about on one-on-one sessions

CantExplain · Mar 22, 2013 at 10:26 PM

Yes, my T was also a facilitator at the Good Group. That was good for me, but perhaps not so good for everyone else. But T doesn't regret it either.

(She says I tried to keep her to myself, and when I found out I couldn't, I ignored her. But that was only a few months out of several years.)

At the beginning I was careful not to mention that I was seeing T privately. Later I decided it shouldn't be a secret.

BlessedRhiannon · Mar 22, 2013 at 11:00 PM

Are you talking about situations where your therapist is also, say, a member of your church group or volunteer organization or a class or something?

I've not found myself in such a situation, but I do think it would make me very uncomfortable. I think I'd either find myself trying to constantly avoid my T in that other setting, or I'd latch on to her as a "safe" person, and then feel guilty about it. I'm sure my T could handle such a situation just fine, but I don't think I could. Mostly due to my own anxieties about social situations. Plus, the groups that I'm part of are "mine" and I don't really want to share those with T! Fortunately, my T tries very hard to avoid dual relationships, and our interests are such that it probably wouldn't happen.

Perna · Mar 23, 2013 at 02:30 AM

I guess it would have to depend on how you relate to your therapist; what your fantasies are, why you are in the group and what place the group plays in your life, etc. I had a session with my therapist once not in our office (she forgot the keys) but in a restaurant and the next session in the office was a bit weird at first, trying to reorient ourselves to the experience of being elsewhere together and now being back in "this" setting.

I would discuss it with your therapist; s/he may have trouble with the containing/holding that therapy provides, since you will be seeing/relating to her out of the box, so-to-speak and putting the genie back in the bottle is a bit tougher?

Syra · Mar 23, 2013 at 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Are you talking about situations where your therapist is also, say, a member of your church group or volunteer organization or a class or something?

I've not found myself in such a situation, but I do think it would make me very uncomfortable. I think I'd either find myself trying to constantly avoid my T in that other setting, or I'd latch on to her as a "safe" person, and then feel guilty about it. I'm sure my T could handle such a situation just fine, but I don't think I could. Mostly due to my own anxieties about social situations. Plus, the groups that I'm part of are "mine" and I don't really want to share those with T! Fortunately, my T tries very hard to avoid dual relationships, and our interests are such that it probably wouldn't happen.

I'm interested in any kind of dual relationship to sort of explore where the limits might be. The situation I heard of was a therapist and client possibly being in an encounter group together (having arrived separately). or a professional conference which requires them to work together.

Mar 24, 2013 at 06:04 AM

My T and I are in the same social group. Does that count? When we discovered this we worked out boundaries like how we would greet each other, areas to talk about etc. We usually keep it pretty brief and never discuss T at the meetings or the club in T and try to keep our distance as much as possible. Unless there's something pretty exciting happening then one of us might bring it up in T. But its a small country town so you'd expect to run into him down the street but I never have.

Syra · Mar 24, 2013 at 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

My T and I are in the same social group. Does that count? When we discovered this we worked out boundaries like how we would greet each other, areas to talk about etc. We usually keep it pretty brief and never discuss T at the meetings or the club in T and try to keep our distance as much as possible. Unless there's something pretty exciting happening then one of us might bring it up in T. But its a small country town so you'd expect to run into him down the street but I never have.

That's more my interest. I understand it's probably more common in rural areas (where the just aren't as many choices) than in densely populated areas. You made me think about my situation. Perhaps the problem wasn't the dual relationship. Perhaps it was the people.

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Syra Magnate Member Since Dec 2012 Location: California Posts: 2,248 11 644 hugs given	Mar 22, 2013 at 09:21 AM #1 Has anyone had any experience being in a group that their therapist is also a member of? What was it like? Did it enhance things? or cause problems? both? no big deal?
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krisakira Magnate Member Since Aug 2010 Location: KS Posts: 2,231 13 6 hugs given	Mar 22, 2013 at 09:24 AM #2 Yeah I was in an eating disorders group where my T was one of the leaders. She thought it would not be a good idea, but I went ahead and did it anyway, and by the end she was grateful I shared my story with the group. I think it enhanced the therapy because I got to talk about something (ED) that I never talked about on one-on-one sessions __________________
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