[seattleskies88]

I just got done with meeting with my T and am feeling kind of discouraged... I feel like we're not getting anywhere.

The session before last was so good. I opened up, my T helped me express some of the emotions I had been hiding for years.

But these last two sessions have been me starring blankly at my T as he tries to probe around and guess what's going on with me. All I can say is, "Maybe... I guess..."

Nothing productive at all.

Is it normal to have periods in therapy where you're not going anywhere? How do you deal with it? I really like my T, so I don't want to go somewhere else but I also can't keep paying for sessions that aren't doing anything for me.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by seattleskies88

I just got done with meeting with my T and am feeling kind of discouraged... I feel like we're not getting anywhere.

The session before last was so good. I opened up, my T helped me express some of the emotions I had been hiding for years.

But these last two sessions have been me starring blankly at my T as he tries to probe around and guess what's going on with me. All I can say is, "Maybe... I guess..."

Nothing productive at all.

Is it normal to have periods in therapy where you're not going anywhere? How do you deal with it? I really like my T, so I don't want to go somewhere else but I also can't keep paying for sessions that aren't doing anything for me.

Just like anything else, you have better days and worse days. The flux occurs in therapy too! Now, if you were experiencing a period of nothingness over a period of MONTHS, then that would be something different entirely.

[likelife]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Just like anything else, you have better days and worse days. The flux occurs in therapy too! Now, if you were experiencing a period of nothingness over a period of MONTHS, then that would be something different entirely.

I agree. I wonder if the "nothing" sessions are a sort of respite from what sounds like the harder work you've been recently doing.

I go through phases of "heavier" vs. "lighter" work with my T. Both seem important, though.

[Freewilled]

I don't know, but I feel the same way. I'm just getting started in my therapy but noticed a pattern already: I will have a semi-open session with T and then the next week I get all closed again. What's up with that?? I don't know but I really like my T so far too, so I'm gonna hold out for awhile. There must be a reason for this - I'm guessing its not uncommon. At least I hope not

[QuietCat]

I feel like we're both having the same sessions, but you're just one or two behind me.

I was going through a period where I felt much closer to T and opened up about a lot of stuff I had never shared before, and he was happy with my progress. Then one session we didn't get anywhere on a topic. Next session he pointed this out and I deflated and was depressed and didn't speak much in the next few sessions.

T even suggested that if I felt I wasn't progressing like I wanted I could see another T or take a break. I freaked out about that, wrote him a letter about how I was freaked out about it, and that's the session I had today.

So maybe it's normal to have a period where you open up a lot and share very important things with T and then you revert and do very little because the opening up was such a big step.

[archipelago]

Even when I have a lot going on, some sessions for me don't really accomplish what I hope. And even when I try to make an effort to change this, it still doesn't always work. I just think the continuity is important and there are going to be periods where things just aren't happening. I tend to use these times, now after a long period of getting used to them, to interact in a different way. It really depends so much on the type of therapy, what your therapist is like and what you want out of it so I can only be general about some of what I've experienced. Yes, we do pay for things, but therapy is a process. It's not exactly like going to a doctor or dentist where we expect neat and clear things to happen. Maybe someone else has therapy like that, but not me. I have actually come to enjoy the lag times. It gives me an opening to other things and makes me aware of the fact that human experiences are just so complicated that it really requires a lot to get anywhere.

[Victoria'smom]

I usually think about what was asked and come up with better answers. That way I didn't wast any time.

This is perfectly normal but very frustrating. It feels like weare paying for nothing sometimes
It is the therapy dance, we take a little step first-guided by t, then a step back and two steps forward. If you like your t and find him easy to talk to, then everything will be fine as long as you go at your own pace.

[seattleskies88]

Thanks guys... I just didn't have a lot to say today and I think that frustrated him a little bit. I just get SO numb in sessions that I can't even remember what all I wanted to talk about, even if I write down notes in my journal.
My mind just goes blank.

And even though I'm paying him, I feel like I'm wasting his time. Sometimes I think that perhaps I'm a fool and there really isn't anything wrong with me and whenever I feel my lowest, I just need to cheer the heck up and move on with life.

But everything in my past and every way I tend to respond to current situations points to depression. I know I have it. My T knows too. But I feel like a fake when I can't even express those thoughts and emotions in front of him.

[WikidPissah]

It used to be like that for me. I still have better sessions than others, but current T is really good at closing a session with things we've accomplished or need further thinking. I like that, I always leave feeling like something got worked on. It also helps me from dissociating on the long drive home.

[JayneJohnson49]

Do you keep a session log that touches on topics week to week? I started one after I felt my sessions were flat, around the 2 month mark, when I was no longer in active crisis. Have you brought your concern up with T? I did and so glad because at the 2 month mark I thought of leaving since I felt good enough and was safe from harm. T said I was absolutely free to end, however, I was just getting down and dirty as the first few months were about building trust and connection while dealing with my crisis but if I continued I’d experience a different type of therapy. I’m SO glad I stayed and there are still plenty of times after a blah session when I wonder if the $150/session is well spent. Every few months I read the entire session log and based on my notes the therapeutic process is a cycle ranging from super awesome can’t wait to talk more next week to get me out of here early and I should quit. I’ve come to accept it is what it is and if I’m happy with my overall progress then I’ll continue on.

How long have you been in T? Would you be comfortable asking T next session if he was frustrated with you? I’ve asked and it created an interesting exchange of how/why I perceived T to be frustrated and why/how she wasn’t. I love that therapy allows us to ask questions without judgment or repercussions.

[seattleskies88]

Originally Posted by JayneJohnson49

How long have you been in T? Would you be comfortable asking T next session if he was frustrated with you? I’ve asked and it created an interesting exchange of how/why I perceived T to be frustrated and why/how she wasn’t. I love that therapy allows us to ask questions without judgment or repercussions.

I've been in for a month. We've had only one really good session out of the last 5. I think I may ask him if he's frustrated with me and explain to him that I still have a hard time connecting with the feelings I experienced in my youth. Every time I see him I just want to apologize for being so numb and dry. I feel like I'm awfully boring to listen to.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by seattleskies88

I just get SO numb in sessions that I can't even remember what all I wanted to talk about,

I feel like I'm wasting his time.

Can you talk to your T about these ^ things?